My First Questions How do I know if he’s actually an addict? Tony, the mental health professional When a client comes into my office to talk about her partner who she thinks is an addict, she’ll usually begin to list all the reasons she’s sure he’s addicted to pornography. Then she’ll ask me the question, “How do I really know?” At this point, I recognize she’s doubting herself and questioning her intuition. This usually happens for one of two reasons: either she thinks she’s not qualified to make that diagnosis or, most commonly, she doesn’t want it to be true. I’ll hear the client’s entire monologue about her partner’s behavior, a behavior that led her to my office in the first place, only to hear her say, “But I’m probably wrong.” What she’s really thinking is ‘Please tell me I’m wrong.’ Chances are, she’s not wrong, but there is help, and there is hope. There are countless definitions of addiction, each with its own little nuances, but for the work I do, I l