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  This week's blog post is the next in the series of book back stories and is the story behind Life after Losing a Child (Young & Romer). From the author -  A former editor of mine, as well as a good friend, lost her son. When she called to tell me, I walked around my house for an hour before I wrote her a poem. It is the first page in a book I co-authored with another good friend, my late friend Joanna Romer. We agreed, before writing the book, that a loss such as that was even more painful – and different – than the loss we both shared as widows.  We set forth to interview parents who had lost children and followed each chapter on loss with a healing chapter, depicting ways each parent dealt with the loss in a positive way to help with healing. Several of the interview chapters were friends of ours, which made it all the more real, and painful. I hope this book has helped a parent who lost a child in a good way. Paperback copies of this book can be purchased at the MSI Press

  Excerpt from Life after Losing a Child by Pat Young and Romer - Losing a Second Child Cristy got her transplant and seemed to be doing very well. She enrolled in college and went on with her life, but then her lungs failed again. She had a double lung transplant at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida. Then, she needed a kidney transplant because the anti-rejection medicine caused her kidneys to fail. Kathleen was relieved when she was able to donate one of hers to her daughter. If nothing else, it would buy them more time.            The day before she was to receive her bachelor’s degree, the doctors told Cristy her lungs were failing and there was nothing else they could do. “Mom,” Cristy had said to Kathleen in tears, “I’m dying, and I don’t want to die.” Cristy moved back home where her mom could take care of her. Kathleen made her car into “a little ambulance” and took her daughter to Pittsburgh, hoping to get another transplant. Despite all of Kathleen’s efforts, Cristy p

  excerpt from Life after L RIVER CHILD   Our children are like rivers Flowing with the seasons of our lives. Some meander gently Through pockets of humanity. Some flow quietly into oceans, While others encounter Deep gorges and tumbling waterfalls. It is this “challenged river” Which carves the deepest banks, Leaving the greatest mark upon the earth. While some of our river children Flow on through many sunsets, Others make a briefer splash. But when the river child Who flowed through many challenges Disappears, It leaves behind those beautiful carvings, Etched deeply into the banks Of our memories. -Pat Young osing a Child For more posts about the late Joanna Romer and her works, click HERE . For more posts about Pat Young and her works, click HERE . 25% discount on paperback with code FF25 at www.msipress.com/shop Sign up for the MSI Press LLC newsletter Follow MSI Press on  Twitter ,  Face Book , and  Instagram .

  The Christmas season has become a mixed set of emotions for us. My grandson was born Christmas Day 20 years ago -- extra annual joy! The brother of a young man we took for 6 years died Christmas eve this year of covid. This is the first year that our family is observing the holidays without our patriarch, Carl , and Murjan , our beloved cat. So, for sure, grief has wrapped itself around our holiday activities. Here, then, is an excerpt from Julie Potter's book, Harnessing the Power of Grief , that we have found insightful... Beginning to adjust You are not a stranger to this process. There are many times during your life when you have to adjust to and make your way in a new world: the first day of school, going away to college, getting a new job, marrying, moving to a new neighborhood, retiring and living in a new world with no colleagues and no 9-to-5 schedule, becoming ill or disabled at any age and living in a slower world with people surging on ahead of you, emigrating to a n

  In her classic tome on death and dying, On Grief & Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief through the Five Stages of Loss , Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identifies five stages that those faced with shocking news associated with loss or potential loss go through: Denial (avoidance, confusion, elation, shock, fear) Anger (frustration, irritation, anxiety) Bargaining (struggling to find meaning, reaching out to others, telling one's story) Depression (overwhelmed, helplessness, hostility, fight) Acceptance (exploring options, new plan in place, moving on) Th subsequent works by Kubler-Ross, including those with colleagues, as well as works by others building on her research have pretty much confirmed these stages. How long it takes to go through any one of them depends upon the individual. Future Cancer Diary posts will dive deeper and personally into these stages. Grief is a complex and highly individual topic and intrinsically intertwined with cancer. MSI has published some helpful w

  Pat Young has written for the  Daytona Beach News Journal ,   South Bend Tribune ,   Flint (MI) Journal ,   Clarkston (MI) News ,   Hometown News   in Daytona Beach, Florida,   New Mexico Magazine ,   Silver City Life Magazine   and other publications. She also worked in public relations and advertising for several real estate companies in Michigan, New Mexico and Florida. She earned awards for her writing, including National Newspaper Association and Michigan Press Association awards. She earned two media awards while at the   South Bend Tribune . One of her stories in   New Mexico Magazine   (“Giant Wind Harp in Tune with Nature”) was chosen for inclusion in the SIRS Discoverer data base. She has an associate degree in liberal arts. She has written stories, articles and poetry since she was a kid, but the book she is co-authoring with Joanna Romer,   Life after Losing a Child , is her first book. When she isn’t writing, she volunteers at the Port Orange, Florida YMCA and at the Pon

Whether the death of a child was due to illness, accident, suicide or drug overdose, the pain is the same — an ache in your heart that won’t go away. Will your life ever be the same? Perhaps not, but as the interviews in this book reveal, you can go on to have a meaningful life. Trish Armor [previous chapter] dealt with her loss through a number of powerful methods. She started a local branch of a bereavement group called Compassionate Friends for other parents who had lost a child. She turned to her faith, a gift she said her daughter had given her, and most significantly for her, Trish turned to Mindfulness. According to Mindful.org, Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present—aware of where we are and what we’re doing at the moment. Such an awareness, says Trish, can be hugely beneficial. “We tend to live in the past when losing a child and have a lot of negative thoughts,” she remarked. Forgiveness is another very important element in the process of co

From MidWest Book Review: Synopsis: "Compiled and co-presented by Pat Young and Joanna Romer, " Life after Losing a Child " tells the poignant stories of a dozen individuals who have suffered the loss of a child. and describes how they learned to heal. "Life after Losing a Child" shows readers who have suffered the loss of a loved on how to come to grips with the loss and handle the grief; how to engage in activities that help the healing process; and how to find the strength to move on. Critique: Exceptionally well organized and presented, "Life after Losing a Child" is especially recommended reading for anyone having to deal with the loss of a child -- as well as those wanting to know how they can help someone bereft and grieving the loss of a child. Simply stated, "Life after Losing a Child" should be a part of every community library collection in the country.

Holidays   If you’re a newly bereaved parent of a deceased child and you haven’t encountered a major holiday yet—say Thanksgiving or Christmas, be prepared for a shock. The holidays can bring home the extent of your loss in a way that nothing else can. Having recently lost a child, you might not be thinking about the holiday or how it will affect you. This is a mistake. It is better to face it in advance and decide how you will handle the holiday. Will you decorate for Christmas as you’ve always done? Will you go to a relative’s house and try to get through the whole thing as quickly as possible? Or will you close up shop and absent yourself from the holiday completely, traveling to Cancun, Key West, or a neighborhood motel, with or without your spouse? Paulette Jarnagin lost her son Keith in a drowning accident six months before Christmas. Paulette, who admits to “always going overboard” at Christmas, didn’t want to celebrate the holiday that year, but her family and fri

Congratulations to Pat Young, co-author with Joanna Romer of Life after Losing a Child , for the front-page article on their book in the Volusia News (Daytona Beach, Florida). Pat was interviewed earlier by MSI Blog. Check out her interview to learn more about her. Pat and Joanna's book is available in the MSI Press webstore; use FF25 for 25% dsicount. Click here to get to the book fast.  The book also available at all online retailers and some brick-and-mortar stores. A reasonable number of free review copies can be made available in exchange for writing and posting reviews. Contact editor@msipress.com to express your interest. Truly a helpful book for anyone who has experienced the tragedy of losing a child.

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Name: Patricia Young Book: Life after Losing a Child   Date of Interview: August 5, 2018 Who are you? What do you want readers to know about you? Pat Young has written for the Daytona Beach News Journal, South Bend Tribune, Flint (Michigan) Journal, Clarkston (Michigan) News, New Mexico Magazine, Silver City (New Mexico) Life Magazine, and other publications. She earned numerous awards for her writing, including National Newspaper Association and Michigan Press Association awards. She earned two media awards while at the South Bend Tribune. One of her stories (Giant Wind Harp in Tune with Nature) in New Mexico Magazine was chosen for inclusion in SIRS Discoverer data bases. Why are you qualified to write this book? Pat, and her late co-author Joanna Romer, are both widows. Though neither has lost a child, both women understood the painful bereavement process one goes through after the loss of a loved one.   What is the message