MSI Press Blog

  EMOTIONAL INATTENTION “He who looks outside dreams. He who looks insides awakens.” --Carl Jung   “It seems like almost everyone has ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) these days!” We live on overload, constantly bombarded by information and driven by the fast pace of life. Adult Americans on average spend ten and a half hours a day watching TV, listening to the radio, or using their smart phones and other electronic devices (Nielsen’s Total Audience Report, 2018). We are driven to succeed and push ourselves to keep busy and productive. To survive, we learn to multitask. We strain to keep all the balls we are juggling in the air. We want more and more, yet never seem satisfied. While technically only a few of us, about 6 percent, can be diagnosed with ADD, our culture keeps us distracted, impulse-driven, restless, and running in circles. So preoccupied, we never learn to listen to ourselves. I propose that the high-stress and instability of the American family contribute to another kind

  Excerpt from 10 Quick Homework Tips (Alder & Trombly) TIP # 1    HEAD OFF STRESS BY BEING PROACTIVE "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now." ~ Chinese Proverb   Why is this Important?   One of the biggest reasons, if not THE biggest reason, that kids and parents alike feel stress about homework is that their family simply has no concrete plan for how, when, and where homework will get done.  Kids may not act like it, but they need, and even like, having rules.  They feel better, safer, if they know exactly what is expected of them.  Think about your daily life, at work or at home.  Do you feel more confident, more calm, on days that you are unsure what your boss will want from you, when you don’t know what you are expected to do, or where you should do it and with what tools… or on days when you know exactly what is expected of you, where you know just what to do, where, when and how?  Most of us feel best when there is a routin

  In one Star Trek episode, the crew cannot enter REM sleep -- and as a result, violence emergences. That episode is based on scientific research. And it explains a lot about caregiver burnout  and anger . When a spouse or other family member suffers from cancer, needs for care do not occur only during waking hours. Often, it feels like 24/7, and a family member who serves as caregiver can find himself or herself unable to react calmly in the face of chaos and immense stress . Sleep provides a time to renew emotional balance. Sleep deprivation leads to deprivation of balance, calm, perspective--and ultimately, emotional control. Here are some details about the relationship between sleep deprivation and anger  from the National Institute of Health. Here are some details about the relationship between sleep and mood from Harvard University research. And here is some evidence of the relationship between anger, aggression, hostility, and sleep deprivation , also from NIH.  Click  HERE  

  (diagram and contents of diagram from Beth Frates via Twitter) Literature gives suggestions for caregiver as if life is calm and caregivers are never angry or stressed out (implying that it is wrong to be so). The reality is that even in the best of circumstances, i.e. the existence of good support systems, caregivers do burn out . Thinking that other caregivers do not and that it is wrong to be angry or somehow even to instinctively respond with an unkind word or behavior is somehow is unique and makes one a bad person creates quite a guilt trip later.  In normal, circumstances, caregivers become sleep-deprived. Sleep deprivation leads NATURALLY to short tempers, frequent frustration, and, yes, bad decisions. Individuals' decisions that are made while sleep deprived cannot be thought of as intentional or well considered. At one point, I was so sleep-deprived that I fell asleep and drove off the road and into a field of cabbage (fortunately, I was not on a major highway), with m

  Book description: It's not easy to know what to do with yourself when you're grieving, anxious, angry, ashamed, or just feeling stuck. This little book offers a simple practice for releasing and relieving negative emotions, to help bring about a more compassionate, centered way of being with whatever is happening. Written by a psychotherapist and Jewish interfaith minister during pandemic times, The Little Book That Listens is like a series of Oracle cards with messages that comfort, encourage, uplift, and redirect. The power of self-healing is here for you. Book Review from Amazon - view more reviews there: I love this book of insight and tenderness towards Self. It felt like the language composed a maternal embrace, each page a reassurance from a high source, that I was loved. The book has received 10 reviews, all 5-stars. You can read the reviews and purchase the book from  AMAZON .   Julia Aziz has also published a book with MSI Press, Lessons of Labor .  To read more pos

  In March, Carl was diagnosed with advanced stage 4 (metastatic) cancer of unknown primary. In August, he died.  When we got the diagnosis, we had to choose a detour from our normal life. There was no way to move straight ahead with life as usual because, you see, there was this big obstacle, called cancer, straight ahead. So, the question was to detour to the left and choose a treatment option, hope, and focus on the living or detour to the right and let nature takes its course, choose to accept the situation at face value, letting nature take its course, and focus on the dying. To fight or to surrender? There was no logical superiority of either path, not knowing what lay behind the cancer tree and how long was the path for it  continued out of sight. We decided not through reasoning but through conditioned reaction to fight. That is what we had done all our adult lives, as we successfully navigated life for four children, two with rare birth defects, and three grandchildren, two wi

Parent’s Guide This story encourages conversations between parents and their young children about PTSD, post-deployment issues, or parents suffering from depression. ●        It is understandable that some of you might be feeling anxious about talking to your child about such difficult topics - this is normal. What is important to remember is that you are not there to talk to your child about trauma. Instead, it is best to focus on some of the emotions that they have seen you experience, like fear, panic, sadness. These are all emotions children can understand as they have experienced these emotions themselves at some point in their lives. They can relate to how you feel by asking them to remember a time when they had a nightmare or got lost in a store. ●        When you are talking to your child, it is essential to be an active listener. You should be listening more than speaking. Some children may find it hard to express themselves, so it is vital that you, during th

I've been getting to know Tony, our new mail carrier. Though his day job takes up most of his energy, his passion is screenwriting, and he recently enrolled in a screenwriting course at the nearby community college. His ideas are beautiful, like a Pixar version of why bad things happen to good people. What he went through as a kid made him into a mystic, and he wants to offer hope for young people that are struggling. Tony and I originally connected because a Sports Illustrated had been mistakenly delivered to my house. I was on my way to walk it over to the neighbor’s house when I met up with him. Tony later told me he was afraid I was going to yell at him since that was how residents often approached. He was very surprised when I came up to him with an easygoing manner, and he wanted to know why I was like that. Now the fact that friendliness is an anomaly is something to think about in and of itself. But more importantly, we've got to stop yelling at the mailman! I know