Precerpt from Grandma's Ninja Training Diary: The Catholic Workout
I just came back from Mass, where I completed the following highly choreographed, spiritually endorsed exercise routine: walked (entered) knelt ("signed in" as my son says) sat stood sat stood sat stood knelt stood sat stood walked (Communion line) knelt sat stood walked (out the door, glowing) People call this “liturgy.” I call it slow Catholic calisthenics . And here’s the real perk: Catholics don’t do this once a week. We offer daily classes. Every morning, all over the world, Catholics gather for: balance training (stand) core engagement (kneel) hip mobility (sit → stand transitions) mindful walking (Communion line) breath regulation (responses) isometric holds (long homilies) It’s basically a free gym membership with holy water. And for Grandma Ninjas? It keeps the joints honest. It keeps the reflexes sharp. It keeps the spirit centered. It keeps the body moving in ways that matter. Some people leave daily Mass spiritually fortified. I leave spiritually fortified and ...