Posts

Showing posts matching the search for Grandma's ninja diary

Precerpt from Grandma's NInja Training Diary (Leaver) - Of Spiders, Stairs, and Ninja Instincts

Image
  The following is a precerpt (book excerpt prior to publication) from  Grandma's Ninja Training Diary  (Leaver & Renz). Of Spiders, Stairs, and Ninja Instincts Last week, I learned an important lesson about physics... and pride. I'd just lugged 40+ pounds of groceries up 17 stairs, both hands full, feeling like the domestic Hercules. As I approached the door, I spotted an intruder: a spider crawling just above waist height. My options? Put down the bags and squish it like a sensible person… or attempt a ninja-style door kick with one leg while gripping two unevenly weighted grocery sacks. I chose violence. I got the bug. But physics got me. When my foot hit the door, the force reverberated like a bad plot twist. I staggered backward, bags swinging, and slammed my wrist into the railing. I didn’t fall. I recalibrated mid-collapse, channeling every ounce of aging grace and stubborn dignity. The wrist puffed up. I thought: “It’s broken. I’m doomed.” My doctor, on th...

PRECERPT: Grandma's Ninja Training Diary: It's the Food, Stupid

Image
Precerpt from Grandma's Ninja Training Diary: The Secret to Losing Weight: It’s Not Just Eating Less There is no question that beyond serious muscle training, I needed to lose weight. The weight, though, did not just disappear, though I tried hard to eat less—a lot less. Thanks to Brittany, my trainer, I learned that it really was not how much I ate, but what I ate.      Like most people trying to lose weight, I thought cutting calories was the answer. If I just ate less, surely the pounds would melt away. But instead of feeling lighter, I felt exhausted, cranky, and constantly hungry. Brittany took one look at my food choices and explained that my body wasn’t getting what it needed. It turns out that the key to weight loss wasn’t starvation—it was nourishment. I had to shift my focus from eating less to eating right. More protein, more fiber, and fewer empty carbs. More whole foods, fewer processed snacks. Instead of a tiny bowl of cereal that left me hungry an hour l...

PRECERPT from Grandma's Ninja Training Diary in honor of Fitness Friday and Military Appreciation Month: Memory, Muscle, and Motivation

Image
  Precerpt (pre-publication excerpt) from Grandma's Ninja Training Diary -- Memory, Muscle, and Motivation: Rediscovering Strength Later in Life When we return to exercise after a long hiatus, our bodies often surprise us with what they remember. The phenomenon of "muscle memory" isn't just anecdotal—it's a fascinating biological reality that gives older adults a significant advantage when resuming physical activity, something my trainer, Brittany, taught me. My own journey back to fitness revealed the veracity of that reality in unexpected ways. Despite decades away from military training, my body immediately recalled how to execute jumping jacks with surprising efficiency—completing 40 in quick succession when my trainer expected far fewer, and I could have kept going. My muscles had quietly preserved the neural pathways formed during my Army days, waiting patiently to be reactivated. This biological advantage comes from two mechanisms. First, the neural patter...

Precerpt from Grandma's Ninja Training Diary: Rib Fractures (They Happen)

Image
  Grandma Ninja: 1 Flying Monkey Stunt: 0 Walking up the stairs, reading texts on my phone with my left hand, and pulling a heavy box with medical supplies with my right hand, I lost my balance when the big box ripped open, throwing me over the railing into the elephant ear plant below. Beside the plant was a metal garbage can. As luck would have it, I landed right on top of it. Crack...! Two ribs fractured. So, the ER doctor told me it would take six weeks for my ribs to heal. Six. Weeks. Grandma Ninja apparently heard “six days” and went with that instead. My PCP confirmed it this week. Lungs clear. Movement normal. No restrictions. (Except “no more flying monkey stunts,” which seems fair.) He asked how the plant I dove into was doing. I told him he should be asking how I am doing. He said I’m tough and would outlast it. I didn’t argue. Was it the calcium? The Fosamax? The prayers? Maybe all of the above. I suspect the real culprit is Grandma Ninja — the balance work, the breat...