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Chapter 14 Grief Guide: Tips and Validations  “I’ve developed a new philosophy— I only dread one day at a time.”  —Charles M. Schulz  This chapter provides tips to make it through each day, and to validate your experiences. As stated frequently in this book, grief is a powerful experience. You can participate in its power by using your own power to experience it and direct its course or by surrendering to its power. Using your power and surrendering are both important. Swimmers instinctively learn when they can swim, when they can dive into a huge wave, and when they can ride the wave. It is trial and error, and eventually inner knowledge and wisdom are attained, with tumbles and falls, and mouthfuls of sand along the way. Simply scroll through the topics to give yourself a boost. Or stop at one or two of them to read completely. Grief is natural to us as human beings. It may not feel good, but it is good. It is a good process. It is a powerful process. Each loss is uniq

  In her classic tome on death and dying, On Grief & Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief through the Five Stages of Loss , Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identifies five stages that those faced with shocking news associated with loss or potential loss go through: Denial (avoidance, confusion, elation, shock, fear) Anger (frustration, irritation, anxiety) Bargaining (struggling to find meaning, reaching out to others, telling one's story) Depression (overwhelmed, helplessness, hostility, fight) Acceptance (exploring options, new plan in place, moving on) Th subsequent works by Kubler-Ross, including those with colleagues, as well as works by others building on her research have pretty much confirmed these stages. How long it takes to go through any one of them depends upon the individual. Future Cancer Diary posts will dive deeper and personally into these stages. Grief is a complex and highly individual topic and intrinsically intertwined with cancer. MSI has published some helpful w