MSI Press Blog

  Difficult Relationships That Take More of a Toll As We Age Long-standing relationships that are chronically stressful begin to take a greater toll as we age. We know that chronic stress and mental anguish have a greater impact on our physical bodies as we age. Making a final attempt to mend difficult relationships or to let go and to stop obsessing about them becomes an essential task when you are on the cusp of old age. Mental distress robs us of valuable time and energy we need or want for other pursuits so it becomes essential to pick our stresses. Difficult relationships are not those friendships that seem to have a natural ebb and flow and enter and leave a life. Most of us have countless relationships that we can pick up after years. Difficult relationships, on the other hand, become tiresome, unbalanced, and demanding. If resolving a difficult relationship were easy, we would have done it long ago. However, we somehow have gotten entangled in old feelings, responses, hurts, an

Insecure Attachment  A child is born completely helpless, dependent on his parents for survival. He cannot feed, clothe, or shelter himself. His parents care for his every need, not only his biological needs but especially his emotional ones. Without love and affection, a child cannot thrive and grow to emotional maturity. Because of his utter helplessness and dependence on his caregivers, a child is hard-wired, like other animals, to form an attachment bond with his parents. That bond keeps the child emotionally engaged with the parents and elicits their nurturing. Parenting is a fine art, more an art than a science, requiring maturity, wisdom, and generosity. It requires maintaining a fine balance between many opposing behaviors. It is like keeping a violin string at just the right tension to produce beautiful music, neither too loose nor too tight. In the midst of change, parents need to guide their children by being neither too strict nor too lax. Children require calm dire

  EMOTIONAL INATTENTION “He who looks outside dreams. He who looks insides awakens.” --Carl Jung   “It seems like almost everyone has ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) these days!” We live on overload, constantly bombarded by information and driven by the fast pace of life. Adult Americans on average spend ten and a half hours a day watching TV, listening to the radio, or using their smart phones and other electronic devices (Nielsen’s Total Audience Report, 2018). We are driven to succeed and push ourselves to keep busy and productive. To survive, we learn to multitask. We strain to keep all the balls we are juggling in the air. We want more and more, yet never seem satisfied. While technically only a few of us, about 6 percent, can be diagnosed with ADD, our culture keeps us distracted, impulse-driven, restless, and running in circles. So preoccupied, we never learn to listen to ourselves. I propose that the high-stress and instability of the American family contribute to another kind

  Excerpt from Anger Anonymous ANGER AS A DRUG Many label anger a negative emotion because it can be as toxic as any drug. Indulged without restraint, it causes untold wreckage to lives and relationships. When swallowed out of fear, it becomes a poison. It seeps into the body, making you depressed, nervous, and physically sick, and leaks out in passive-aggressive behavior. I prefer to call anger a difficult emotion because of the intensity of the energy it produces. The problem with anger is not in the feeling itself, which is natural, but in how it is expressed. It can be expressed beneficially in appropriately assertive behavior and in protesting injustice. Problems occur, however, when that energy is either under-controlled or over-controlled. Unchecked, it can result in aggressive, harmful behavior that destroys people and relationships. If internalized, it can wreak havoc with your body and emotions. Anger is a natural energy that helps you to survive when handled with care, compa

  excerpt from How to Live from Your Heart by Nanette Hucknall - Introduction Buddha said: The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart. Living from your heart is a way of life. It means to listen with your heart, to relate to others with your heart, to receive and give to others with your heart, to access knowledge with your heart, to inspire and be inspired, and to learn discrimination, trusting in your heart’s ability to recognize right from wrong. It means being open to any possibility and any creative thought. The heart is the way to higher wisdom and the spirit within. Using your heart as an instrument brings an acceptance of nature’s beauty, the containment of opposites and a way for healing energies to flow. But what is the heart? The physical heart, of course, is an organ that keeps us alive, but the physical heart is very different from the heart this book is referring to. Where does one feel love or pain? It always comes not from the physical heart but from a place in

Frederic Craigie Jr., Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, consultant, educator, speaker, and writer. His passions and areas of expertise include spirituality in health and health care, healing relationships, clinician well-being, and resiliency and positive mental health. Fred attended Dartmouth College during the tumultuous Vietnam War era and completed his doctorate at the University of Utah.  He served internships in the VA system in clinical psychology and in substance abuse rehabilitation.  Following his training, he began what was to become a 37-year full-time faculty role at the Maine -Dartmouth Family Medicine Residency in Augusta, Maine, where he coordinated behavioral health teaching for residents and students and provided behavioral health care to a largely underserved primary care population. He serves as Visiting Associate Professor at the Andrew Weil Center for Integrative Medicine (AWCIM) at the University of Arizona College of Medicine, and held an appointment as Associa

    What is a book jewel? A sometimes-overlooked book with remarkable insight and potential significance. Starting in August, we will share near-daily, as possible, reviews of the monthly book jewel - short, succinct reviews that can be read in 1-2 minutes with links to the reviewer by reviewers whose words are worthy of being heard and whose opinions are worthy of being considered. Sometimes a couple of minutes contains more impressive thought than ten times that many. We will let you decide that. This month's book jewel is  How to Live from Your Heart  by Nanette Hucknall.  Book description:  Heart energy comes from an always loving and wise Higher Source. Nurturing, warm, quiet, refined, and all encompassing, heart energy brings spiritual growth that fosters creativity, attracts loving relationships, and engenders peace and happiness. Grounded in psychology and focusing on a bigger picture than New Age philosophies, this practical book not only teaches you how to live from your