MSI Press Blog

  Difficult Relationships That Take More of a Toll As We Age Long-standing relationships that are chronically stressful begin to take a greater toll as we age. We know that chronic stress and mental anguish have a greater impact on our physical bodies as we age. Making a final attempt to mend difficult relationships or to let go and to stop obsessing about them becomes an essential task when you are on the cusp of old age. Mental distress robs us of valuable time and energy we need or want for other pursuits so it becomes essential to pick our stresses. Difficult relationships are not those friendships that seem to have a natural ebb and flow and enter and leave a life. Most of us have countless relationships that we can pick up after years. Difficult relationships, on the other hand, become tiresome, unbalanced, and demanding. If resolving a difficult relationship were easy, we would have done it long ago. However, we somehow have gotten entangled in old feelings, responses, hurts, an

Insecure Attachment  A child is born completely helpless, dependent on his parents for survival. He cannot feed, clothe, or shelter himself. His parents care for his every need, not only his biological needs but especially his emotional ones. Without love and affection, a child cannot thrive and grow to emotional maturity. Because of his utter helplessness and dependence on his caregivers, a child is hard-wired, like other animals, to form an attachment bond with his parents. That bond keeps the child emotionally engaged with the parents and elicits their nurturing. Parenting is a fine art, more an art than a science, requiring maturity, wisdom, and generosity. It requires maintaining a fine balance between many opposing behaviors. It is like keeping a violin string at just the right tension to produce beautiful music, neither too loose nor too tight. In the midst of change, parents need to guide their children by being neither too strict nor too lax. Children require calm dire

  EMOTIONAL INATTENTION “He who looks outside dreams. He who looks insides awakens.” --Carl Jung   “It seems like almost everyone has ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) these days!” We live on overload, constantly bombarded by information and driven by the fast pace of life. Adult Americans on average spend ten and a half hours a day watching TV, listening to the radio, or using their smart phones and other electronic devices (Nielsen’s Total Audience Report, 2018). We are driven to succeed and push ourselves to keep busy and productive. To survive, we learn to multitask. We strain to keep all the balls we are juggling in the air. We want more and more, yet never seem satisfied. While technically only a few of us, about 6 percent, can be diagnosed with ADD, our culture keeps us distracted, impulse-driven, restless, and running in circles. So preoccupied, we never learn to listen to ourselves. I propose that the high-stress and instability of the American family contribute to another kind

  Excerpt from Anger Anonymous ANGER AS A DRUG Many label anger a negative emotion because it can be as toxic as any drug. Indulged without restraint, it causes untold wreckage to lives and relationships. When swallowed out of fear, it becomes a poison. It seeps into the body, making you depressed, nervous, and physically sick, and leaks out in passive-aggressive behavior. I prefer to call anger a difficult emotion because of the intensity of the energy it produces. The problem with anger is not in the feeling itself, which is natural, but in how it is expressed. It can be expressed beneficially in appropriately assertive behavior and in protesting injustice. Problems occur, however, when that energy is either under-controlled or over-controlled. Unchecked, it can result in aggressive, harmful behavior that destroys people and relationships. If internalized, it can wreak havoc with your body and emotions. Anger is a natural energy that helps you to survive when handled with care, compa

    excerpt from  Anger Anonymous  -  INTRODUCTION ANGER ANONYMOUS: THE BIG BOOK ON ANGER ADDICTION “Anyone can become angry—that is easy, but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” —Aristotle   Anger arises within us with a warning label: “Handle with extreme caution!” It is a fire that can give light and warmth to sustain life when well managed, or it can burn and incinerate when out of control. Anger possesses a power that fascinates and disturbs. Even though we witness its devastating effects in broken relationships, violence, and war, we relish the momentary sense of power we feel when enraged. “Anger is one letter short of danger,” the saying goes. Society respects anger’s dangerous potential. It makes laws against violent behavior. Parents teach their children to manage their temper. Religion cautions against becoming slaves of passio