Daily Excerpt: How to Be a Good Mommy When You're Sick (Graves) - Introduction
Today's daily excerpt comes from How to Be a Good Mommy When You're Sick by Emily Graves.
Introduction:
My Story
When women with
Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) get pregnant, their RA goes into remission. At least,
that’s what my doctor told my husband, Robert, and me when we went in to
discuss the possibility of having a baby. At that time, we both were professors
with busy careers. I was 28, and according to my doctors, my RA was on “cruise
control”. Thus, we were given a big “thumbs up” from the medical community to
get pregnant. I would not trade our son for the world, but, boy, were they
wrong!
There was no
remission for me, not unless remission means running head first into kidney
failure and an abrupt pause in my career. After many months of discussions with
baffled doctors, biopsies, and blood tests, I was diagnosed with Essential Mixed
Cryoglobulinemia Type II—a complication of my RA that was causing kidney
failure. I was officially the complicated, rare case “only found in medical
journals”. In other words, my bewildered doctors and nurses all but labeled me
a freak of medical nature. After being in the hospital for two weeks with out
of control edema (swelling that resulted in 50 pounds of excess fluid filling
my body), I had to have a C-section just 28 weeks and two days into my
pregnancy. Our son, William, was born at an astonishing one pound 15 ounces, a
micro-preemie who fit in the palm of my hand.
The days that
followed were like living a triathlon loop of professional obligations, myriad
doctors’ appointments, and timed visits to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit
(NICU). All of this kept my husband and me on the verge of collapse, tears,
and, in the good times, utter and joyous thankfulness that things had not gone
as badly as they could have. While our son suffered a few setbacks, he remained
in good condition and grew stronger by the day. I will never forget the first
time I got to actually hold him. For most mothers, holding their newborn child
is a reward granted soon after birth. I, however, had to wait two weeks before
I could hold my baby, and then I was only allowed to for thirty minutes a day.
Those daily thirty-minute doses of motherhood became the center around which
the whirlwind of my life revolved.
Finally, the
day we had been waiting for came. Sixty days after William was born, he came
home from the NICU—on my 30th birthday. The best gift ever! Fortunately, he had
very few complications after coming home and has grown into a robust, happy
toddler who is as smart as he is cute. I, however, remained sick, very sick.
Fast forward
two and a half years. Although I am slowly getting better, I am still living
with RA and 27% kidney function. My health is far from ideal, yet I am thankful
for what I have because it is a vast improvement from where I was when Will was
born. In the time that has passed since we brought our son home, I have often
struggled to juggle my obligations as a mother, wife, and professional along
with my medical needs. Like every good mom out there, I am not the sort of
person just to throw in the towel, and I am not above asking for help. So, I
began searching for someone to help me. What I found was a sea of guides to
motherhood that failed to take into account the challenges of chronic illness. Thus,
I was forced to develop strategies on my own by trial and error, and now I want
to share those strategies with other moms in similar situations.
So while every
new mom does not have the exact chronic illness(es) that I have, I am hopeful
that every new mom living with a chronic illness can take something from this
book to make her life with her new baby a little less frustrating and much more
enjoyable. I now know what going from 100 to nothing and working back up slowly
actually feels like. A rollercoaster? Yes, but taking one day at a time along
with family support and some tips from someone who has always insisted on
learning the hard way just might make your ride a bit smoother. So, kick back,
turn the pages, and work with me on loving living.
USE THE CODE FF25.
Read more posts by and about Emily Graves HERE.
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