Tip #40 from 365 Teacher Secrets for Parents (McKinley & Trombly)

Today's tip for parents from two talented teachers comes from 365 Teacher Secrets for Parents by Cindy McKinley Alder and Patti Trombly.

Report Cards

Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out.

~James Bryant Conant

Here’s a riddle for you: what might you wait months to see and yet (sometimes) your child hates to show you? It’s the report card! Even when children are doing well, they are often hesitant to show their report card to their parents simply because of the report card’s implied seriousness. Many times, oddly enough, children fear the worst, believing that there must be some “bad stuff” written there by their teacher.

Here are some helpful Dos and Don’ts that may make report cards less scary for all of you:

● Do say something positive when your child brings his report card home to you like, “I can’t wait to read the nice things your teacher wrote about you.”

● Don’t say something your child may interpret as threatening like, “I’ll bet Mr. Croy has a thing or two to say about you.”

● Don’t sit right down with your child as soon as you get your hands on the report card. If you haven’t had a chance to review it, you may say something you will regret later on.

● Do look the report card over yourself first, without your child around. This way you will have an opportunity to review it and plan what you are going to say to your child (and how you’re going to say it) so that your discussion about it will be positive.

● Don’t begin right away by asking your child about all the not-so-good areas.

● Do use the “sandwich method” to bring up any bad news. (First, compliment your child on something, such as progress made or a good mark in a subject. Then, discuss the bad-news area. End, again, with something positive.)

● Don’t tell your child how he is going to have to do better and study more and improve or else.

● Do sit down and have a nice discussion. Offer to review the goals he set for himself. Does he need to add any? Can any be crossed out because they were met? Do the goals need to be more detailed? Does he need to create a plan for reaching the goals? Do you need to schedule a special conference with the teacher that your child can attend so that all parties involved can discuss the best things to do?

● Don’t just focus on the areas for improvement, taking for granted the fact that there are many terrific marks as well.

● Do make sure your child knows how proud you are of every great grade he receives. Praise improvements and effort as well as good grades.

● Don’t only focus on academics. After all, “working well with others” is a pretty important life skill!

● Do try to resist comparing his progress with that of any siblings. Each child is unique and has his own things he does well.

● His report card should also give an accurate picture of how your child behaves, attends, gets along, and cooperates with others. All of these are important life skills and help to determine who he is and who he will become.

Many districts are now experimenting with a new type of report card. Educators have been discovering that “Sometimes,” “Always,” and “Never” are not always sufficient to describe your child’s academic progress with the curriculum. Some new versions use keywords such as “Emerging,” “Progressing,” and “Achieving” and show a continuum to give a more accurate description of how children are doing.

No matter what type of report card your child brings home, take the opportunity to get to know and understand it. Identify areas for improvement, and celebrate the successes. Your attitude about report cards will undoubtedly influence your child’s. Begin now to make report card time a truly pleasant experience for everyone. Remember: each report card is just a snapshot of your child’s progress at one particular time, not an overall picture of who he is.

Cindy McKinley Alder Patti Trombly

For more posts about the authors and their books (this is not the only one), click HERE.

For excerpts from more books, click HERE.

For more excerpts from 365 Teacher Secrets for Parents, click HERE.

For more posts about books about parenting, click HERE.

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