Caturday: When a Cat Bites Hard
When a Cat Bites Hard: Helping Tissou Learn Another Way
Tissou is a beautiful tortoiseshell cat with a complicated past. Once a loved housecat, she was abandoned to a horse stall for two years after her owner died. She wasn’t properly fed, she wasn’t shown kindness, and she was occasionally mistreated. She survived by shutting down, protecting herself, and fighting when she needed to.
Now, at ten years old, she has a home again. She’s warm, safe, and fed. But she bites.
And not just warning nips. She bites hard—hard enough to break skin.
It’s not constant. She can be affectionate and calm. But if she’s touched in a way she doesn’t expect, or feels cornered, startled, or overstimulated, she reacts with teeth. There’s no time to stop her once she’s decided—it’s lightning-fast and deeply ingrained.
We love her. But we also need to be safe. So how do you help a cat like Tissou learn not to bite?
Step One: Take It Seriously
Many people excuse biting with phrases like “She’s just a rescue,” or “He was feral, it’s not his fault.” And those things are true. But they don’t mean we ignore the behavior.
A cat that breaks skin when upset is dangerous—not only to people but to herself. If someone responds with fear, force, or punishment, she could end up re-traumatized—or back in a shelter where she won’t be adoptable.
So we take it seriously. But we don’t take it personally.
Step Two: Identify Triggers
With Tissou, we noticed certain patterns:
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She hates being touched while sleeping or resting.
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She startles easily if approached from behind.
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Petting beyond a few seconds can lead to a bite.
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She becomes overwhelmed if more than one person or cat is near her while being handled.
We kept a mental “map” of situations that raised her stress—and avoided them as much as possible while we worked on behavior change.
Step Three: Respond Calmly and Consistently
When Tissou bites, we say firmly but quietly: “No bite.” Then we leave. No scolding, no chasing, no waving hands—just a clean, calm end to interaction.
We also thoroughly wash and disinfect any wound (cat bites are medically serious) but we don’t do this in front of her. She doesn’t need shame. She needs calm boundaries.
Step Four: Teach an Exit Strategy
Biting, for Tissou, is an end-stage behavior. She doesn’t have a clear path to say “no” before she gets there. So we started showing her what did work:
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Walking away ends contact. If she shifts her body or turns her head, we stop touching her.
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Vocal cues matter. If she growls or huffs, we respond—immediately and respectfully.
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Other behaviors work better. If she swats gently or flicks her tail, we back off, but we also offer her something positive, like a treat or petting later when she’s calmer. She learns that calmer communication gets better results.
Step Five: No Ambushes, No Surprises
We never reach into a small space or wake her up with a touch. We speak first. We make sure she sees us. We avoid touching her when she’s already on edge. If she’s in “don’t touch me” mode, we respect it.
If she’s resting and we need to pass near her, we give her a soft warning: “Coming by, Tissou,” or even drop a tiny treat at a distance to shift her attention.
It’s about helping her stay regulated—not triggering the survival response.
Step Six: Protective Measures (Yes, Gloves Help)
During the worst periods, we used bite-proof gloves when handling her during known trigger times (grooming, nail trims, vet prep). It wasn’t punishment—it was protection for both of us.
By removing our fear of being bitten, we were able to stay calm, which helped her stay calmer, too.
Progress, Not Perfection
Tissou still bites sometimes. But less often. And now, we usually see it coming—and she has begun using warning signals instead. She has also started seeking affection more often, on her terms. Her world is beginning to feel predictable, and that predictability is giving her something she has probably never had: choice.
Tissou is a reminder that biting is communication—but dangerous communication we cannot ignore. Changing it is slow, sometimes painful work. But it’s possible. She may never be the kind of cat you can scoop into your arms or surprise with a belly rub. But she’s already the kind of cat who watches the other cats cuddle and purr—and slowly, cautiously, comes a little closer each day.
And we’ll meet her where she is. Bite scars and all.
Learn more about cats. See our many Caturday posts.
Be entertained. See all our posts about cats.
Be inspired. See posts by and about Sula, parish cat, and her books.
Have a chuckle. Read posts by and about Jeremy Feig's award-winning book (book of the year finalist, Kops-Fetherling Lagacy Award for Humor), How My Cat Made Me a Better Man.
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