Precerpt from Raising God's Rainbow Makers: Shane's Self-Advocacy
Shane has always been a good self-advocate. Perhaps because he sees the world differently from others--as a matter of logic, which disconcerts those who would argue with him because they live in the larger illogical world. Fourth grade, fifth grade, seventh grade, eighth grade...nearly every year he had an opportunity not only to outthink his parents (that was a given) but also to outlogic his teachers.
Fourth grade was quite a year for him. He managed to frustrate his teacher on a regular basis. For example, he refused to do his homework, yet he would use math (algebra) to figure out how to lower our electric bill, and he would absorb himself in reading fiction typically assigned in high school and college classes. Though he was only 7 (remember, he began first grade at the age of 3), he considered his time valuable and did not to waste it on silliness or things he already knew. The teacher complained and complained and complained that her would not do his homework. I asked him to address the issue with her directly. She called me.
"Your son is saucy," she said.
"What did he say," I asked.
He told me that he was not doing his homework because it was not worth his time, but if I would give him something more challenging, he would be happy to comply.
"Well," I responded. "It sounds like he has put his finger on the problem."
"Now I know why he's saucy," she snapped. "You're saucy, too." Click! She had hung up the phone.
Later in the year, he stood up in class, his turn to give a book report on an independent reading assignment.
"I read as I Lay Dying by Willima Faulkner," he started.
The teacher stopped him. That book is not on the reading list.
"Well, I am not going to read time reading George the Monkey Goes to the Zoo, which is on the list," he shot back.
"If you do not read a book from the list, you get a zero," she said, hoping to influence (or force) him to read one of those fourth-grade level books (which he was reading when he was 2-3 years old and was now long past). One does not force Shane to do anything. One shows him the logic of a request. He saw none in this requirement.
"Okay," he responded. "I'll take the zero." He was serious.
The next year, in fifth grade, he was in an ungraded school and able to work at his own level and pace, but the social workings of school still eluded him. He was, after all, only 8, in a home room with 11-year-olds. Noisy 11-year-olds. The row he was seated in, one fine (or not so fine) day, was particularly noisy and not inclined to quiet down, so the teacher canceled their recess.
"Excuse me," Shane raised his hand. "I was not noisy."
"Yes, but you are in the noisy row."
"I did not choose to be in this row; you put me here," he objected.
"Nonetheless, this row is to stay in during recess."
"That is not fair; it is illogical," he objected again.
"Enough," the teacher replied. "All those in this row will stay inside.
Shane went out at recess, and the teacher was livid. "You disobeyed me," she told him. "Now you have detention after school."
"That's fair," he replied.
"I cannot outthink him," the teacher complained at PTA. "How do you?"
"We don't!"
In 7th grade, Shane ended up in an algebra class where the teacher did not like him. "He does not belong in this class," she complained to me.
"Is he having trouble with algebra?" I asked. "He has studied algebra before and uses applications of it at home, but if he is not keeping up with the class, I can get a tutor."
"He has no problem with math," she snapped. "He does not belong in this class because his feet do not touch the floor!"
Well, he was only 10, small for his age, and the desks were made for 13- and 14-year=olds. But that really mattered?!
A few weeks later, he came home and announced, "You told me that it does not matter what you say; it matters how you say it. You were wrong. What you say matters."
Alarmed, I asked, "What did you say?"
He replied, "After class, I went up to my algebra teacher..." Oh, no! Not the algebra teacher!
He went on, "No one was around; I spoke quietly; I said please three times."
"Exactly what did you say?"
"I asked her not to teach during class because it interferes with my learning."
Of course, direct instruction confused and distracted him. He is an inductive learner, strongly dependent upon figuring out things for himself in order to understand them. Deductive explanations were not only useless; they were actually harmful.
And of course, this did not go over well with the teacher. The result was to punish him by exiling him from the classroom to the guidance office the algebra period; he only joined the class to take the tests. That actually worked well for everyone! For him, it was not punishment; it was liberation. For the teacher, it was liberation, too -- she did not have to see annoyingly little feet dangling from the desk chair. I assumed that learning had been a challenge for her, and she subconsciously resented someone who simply inhaled new information and even figured out all by himself how things, including math, worked.
Then came eighth grade and a move to California. We explored the local public school program. Inadequate. However, there was an "external" program where students studied in a computer classroom, ungraded, self-paced, for half a day. Perfect for Shawn! Although the program was meant for learners with behavior problems and learning challenges, the teacher had been a former gifted education teacher. We showed him Shawn's books from the previous half year. We had moved during the school year, and Shane had ended up in home schooling when we could not find an adequate program. During that half year, he worked with me for the most part -- and I did challenge him -- and with a math tutor, a college professor, who claimed teaching him was like eating candy. We showed the external program teacher his work: three textbooks on US history (one published in the South, one in the North, and one in the UK; the differences meant that Shane never believed anything he read after that without triangulating opinions and "fact" for a multitude of sources), Shakespeare, more Faulkner, Steinbeck, and for math: geometry, trigonometry, and Euclidean geometry -- ready for calculus. A "mature" age 11 now, Shane was quite self-confident in his learning and in how and what he wanted to study, and he wanted to study in the external program. Off we went, he and I, to let the principal now. And, well, that meeting took a few twists, but, ultimately, the principal fell victim to Shane's special logic.
"I don't think that is the right program for you," the principal told Shane. "I think you belong in the Gifted and Talented program." He handed Shane a brochure.
Shane glanced through it. "Hm," he commented. "No math or science component. Only humanities and social sciences. That is inadequate."
He considered for a brief moment, then handed the brochure back to the principal. "Here, you might want to recycle this. Your program is not worth the paper it is printed on."
"Well, you cannot go to the external program," the principal stated. "That teacher is not focused on GATE students. He will not accept you."
I interjected at that point. "We already talked to the teacher," I informed the principal. "He used to be a GATE teacher; he has seen Shane's books and previous learning plans; and he is excited about working with him."
The principal would not give up. "You realize that students in the external program cannot go to the class dances and other social events," he stated, as if that might matter to an introvert, underage Shane.
"Not a problem," Shane responded.
Clearly frustrated, the principal put up the final barrier: "You have to have a behavioral problem to be in that class."
Shane did not miss a beat. "If that is the requirement," he said, " I could develop one."
I probably should have warned the principal in advance not to try to outlogic Shane. It never works.
Book Description:
Raising God's Rainbow Makers
A Family Memoir of Grace, Grit, and Growing Up Different
What happens when a military family welcomes four children—each with wildly different needs—into a world not always built to support them?
In Raising God’s Rainbow Makers, one mother shares the remarkable journey of raising two children with complex disabilities—one with spina bifida, one with CHARGE Syndrome—and two intellectually gifted children, all born in different states during years of military life. Through medical crises, educational challenges, and societal roadblocks (both intentional and unintentional), this honest and inspiring memoir tells the story of how one family built a life of strength, compassion, and resilience.
With warmth and unflinching honesty, the author reflects on emergency surgeries, IEP battles, unexpected victories, and the fierce sibling bonds that formed in the face of it all. The children—now grown—bear witness to the power of support, faith, and never giving up.
This is not just a story of survival. It is a celebration of difference, a chronicle of hope, and a powerful testament to what love and determination can build when the world says "impossible."
Keywords:
Parenting memoir; Special needs parenting; Raising children with disabilities; Military family life; Family resilience; Inspirational family story; Faith-based memoir; Coping with medical challenges; Sibling support stories; Gifted children; Spina bifida; CHARGE Syndrome; Hydrocephalus; Congenital disabilities; Complex medical needs; Pediatric neurosurgery; IEP and special education; Gifted education; Educational advocacy; Inclusive education; Hope and healing; Courage and strength; Love and perseverance; Raising different children; Disability acceptance; Parenting through adversity; Overcoming barriers; Finding joy in hardship; Special needs journey; Family unity and support; For parents of disabled children; For parents of gifted children; For educators and therapists; Christian parenting memoir; For families facing rare diagnoses; Real-life parenting stories; Memoirs about raising children; Stories of medical miracles
For more posts about Elizabeth and her books, click HERE.
Read more stories -- and photos -- about the Mahlou family in the blog (no longer maintained), Clan of Mahlou.
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