What Makes for Good Parent-Teacher Communication?

What Makes for Good Parent–Teacher Communication

Parent–teacher communication is one of those phrases everyone nods along to, but few people define. We say it matters. We say it builds trust. We say it supports kids. But what actually makes it good?

After years of watching schools from the inside and the outside — as a parent, a collaborator, and a partner in learning — I’ve come to believe that good communication isn’t about frequency or formality. It’s about relationship. And relationships are built on a few simple, human principles.

1. Clarity Over Volume

More messages don’t equal better communication. What families need is:

clear information
in plain language
at the right time
with the right level of detail

A weekly newsletter no one reads doesn’t help. A two-sentence email that says what’s happening and what’s needed often does.

2. Respect for Each Other’s Expertise

Teachers know the classroom.
Parents know the child.

Good communication honors both truths. It sounds like:

“Here’s what I’m seeing at school.”
“Here’s what I’m seeing at home.”
“Let’s put the pieces together.”

When either side assumes total authority, the child loses. When both sides share what they know, the child gains a team.

3. A Shared Purpose

The best conversations begin with a simple, grounding question:
What are we trying to accomplish for this child?

When the purpose is shared, communication becomes:

less defensive
more collaborative
more focused on solutions rather than blame

It shifts the tone from “reporting” to “partnering.”

4. Transparency Without Alarm

Families don’t need sugarcoating, but they also don’t need panic. Good communication is:

honest but measured
specific but not catastrophic
forward-looking rather than doom-filled

A helpful message sounds like:
“Here’s what I’m noticing, here’s why it matters, and here’s what we can try next.”

5. Two-Way, Not One-Way

Too often, parent–teacher communication becomes a broadcast: the school sends information; the family receives it. But real partnership requires:

space for questions
space for context
space for the family’s voice

A child’s life doesn’t split neatly into “school” and “home.” Their support shouldn’t either.

6. Consistency, Not Crisis-Only Contact

If the only time a teacher reaches out is when something is wrong, families learn to brace themselves. A quick positive note — “He helped a classmate today,” “She asked a great question,” “They showed real persistence” — builds trust long before any challenge arises.

7. Communication That Honors Dignity

Every child deserves to be spoken about with respect. Every family deserves to be approached with dignity. Good communication avoids:

labels
assumptions
shaming language
deficit framing

Instead, it centers the child’s humanity and the family’s strengths.

8. A Spirit of “Common Say”

At its best, parent–teacher communication mirrors the healthiest family conversations: each person gets a voice, each perspective matters, and the goal is a shared direction rather than a winner.

It’s not about who’s right.
It’s about what’s right for the child.

In the End

Good parent–teacher communication isn’t a technique. It’s a posture.

It says:

We’re on the same side.
We both care about this child.
We can do more together than alone.

When communication is grounded in clarity, respect, and shared purpose, children feel it. They feel held by a team. They feel seen. They feel supported.

And that — more than any app, form, or meeting — is what makes the difference.

If you want, I can help you refine this into a shorter version, a more poetic version, or a version tailored to teachers, parents, or administrators.

Cindy McKinley Alder Patti Trombly

For more posts about the authors and their books (this is not the only one), click HERE.

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For more excerpts from 365 Teacher Secrets for Parents, click HERE.

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Post inspired by 365 Teacher Secrets for Parents (McKinley & Trombly)

Book description

This reference book, written by two experienced and successful (and, frankly, brilliant and talented) elementary school teachers, provides a day-by-day set of practical ideas and activities that parents can do at home with their elementary school-age children to help them become better students while also having fun.

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