MSI Press Blog

  A just-discovered but out-there-for-a-while book review of  He's a Porn Addict...Now What?  by Overbay and Shea. "The authors aren’t here to judge partner or addict; their goal is to help both find healing. As such, I believe it makes an important contribution to the field." Read the full book review  HERE . Book description: Admitting you're a drug addict or alcoholic can be difficult, but when it comes to pornography addiction, the pain of betrayal can hit the addict's partner worse than the addict himself. Difficult questions come rushing: Does he look at this stuff because I'm not enough? Was he like this when I first met him? Is this God trying to test me? What kind of help is available for him? Am I just supposed to stay here and deal with this? With  He's a Porn Addict...Now What?: An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions , you'll get pertinent answers from both sides of the equation: from a therapist and from a former pornography a...

    This excerpt comes from  He's a Porn Addict...Now What?  (Overbay and Shea) Some people say I don't want him to disclose everything to me.  Are they correct?   Tony, the mental health professional: “I want to know everything you did” is one of those statements I hear regularly in my therapy sessions with couples. There is a modality of therapy where the husband and wife start putting out their truths. It's viewed as an emotional bid to be vulnerable. The idea is that they are sharing their heart with their partner, but it's done knowing that the other person loves and cares about them and wants to know their truth. So, there’s disclosure from the spouse and all of a sudden we're in this world known as betrayal trauma, where the wife is going back and trying to put everything together. This is the point at which I hear phrases like: “My whole marriage has been a sham,” or, “I can't trust anything he says or does now.” For the wife, it often becomes, “I w...

  This excerpt comes from He's a Porn Addict...Now What? (Overbay and Shea) How did he manage to conceal it all so well and deceive me for such a long time?   Tony, the mental health professional: You may have just found out, but more than likely there have been years of this pattern of behavior on his part that have led to either his disclosure or your discovery, and during these years there has undoubtedly been a tremendous amount of guilt and shame on his part. Guilt can be a good emotion, because it can cause someone to evaluate a situation and motivate them to do something different. But when shame kicks in, that’s the voice that tells you, “You’re a horrible person and you’ll never overcome this. People are going to know you’re a fraud, or that you’re disgusting if they ever find out about this.” Pornography is the type of addiction that for most individuals is laced with guilt and shame, evolving into an addiction fueled by isolation because they don’t want ...