MSI Press Blog

  Responsibility isn’t taught through humiliation. It’s learned through connection, observation, and cause and effect. Shame-based discipline — the kind that says “You’re careless,” or “You always mess up” — doesn’t build responsibility. It builds fear. Children who are shamed learn to hide mistakes, lie to avoid punishment, and disconnect from their own sense of agency. They don’t learn to do better; they learn to disappear. Natural consequences, on the other hand, teach accountability without humiliation. They link action to outcome in a way that feels fair and human. What Natural Consequences Look Like “The milk spilled, so let’s clean it together.” → Teaches cooperation and problem-solving. “You forgot your homework, so you’ll need to explain that to your teacher.” → Teaches ownership and communication. “You left your bike in the rain, and now the chain is rusty.” → Teaches care and foresight. Each of these moments connects behavior to reality, not to shame. The chil...

  Excerpt from Living Well with Chronic Illness (Charnas) - Hard Decisions, Mistakes, and Choices What was I doing, sitting on the floor in a short, white skirt in the jury room of the Boston courthouse? I’d lost my mind. I’d been called for jury duty and badly wanted to serve. I thought if I dressed up a little, I might improve my chances. I hadn’t been feeling well, but I disregarded this in my desire to sit on a jury. I put on my knee-length skirt and sweater set and merrily set off.  The chairs in the jury-pool room were hard and uncomfortable. I sat there for a long time. After a couple hours, I began to feel lightheaded and weak. This should’ve been my clue to request dismissal from the jury pool. Instead, I thought I might feel better if I put my feet up, so I rested them on an empty chair. That didn’t help. I continued to feel worse and began having trouble sitting up. Other people were sitting on the floor, so in my short, winter-white outfit, I lowered myself and lea...

  WHEN YOU DON'T LIKE TO MESS UP OR MAKE MISTAKES by Julia Aziz Do you worry about things you said or did and how other people may perceive you? Do you battle niggling feelings of not being good enough?  If you resonate with the term “perfectionist,” “people pleaser,” or “impostor syndrome,” you’re most likely a highly conscientious, caring individual with an acute sensitivity to nuance. You may also struggle with an  inner tension that won’t let loose, a guard and self-critic whispering “sour nothings” that something is wrong with you . On the outside, all may look manicured and pretty. On the inside, trying to maintain control and tame creativity can be an exhausting drain of energy.    Read the rest of Julia's blog post HERE to consider her suggestions for coping with perfectionism. Julia authored Lessons of Labor; read more posts about Julia and her book HERE . Sign up for the MSI Press LLC new...

  Julia Aziz's latest post focuses on "beautiful mistakes and life u-turns." She writes: Life is messy! It just is. The artistry of my life–my decisions, the ways I fail, the ways I grow–doesn’t match the artistry of yours, and thank goodness! Our messes make us unique. I think of a flower with a torn petal. Shall we toss it to the wind for being imperfectly symmetrical, or will we cherish its fragile beauty?  You can read the whole post  HERE . You can read more posts by and about Julia Aziz and her books HERE .