MSI Press Blog

  I have raised two children who were not supposed to live because of the type of birth defects they have. Today, both are in their 40s. I know how to care for someone whom I honestly believe will -- and who does have a hope to -- get better. There was always the struggle of making sure they got the meds they needed, that they did the kinds of activities they needed to do, that their father, Carl, and I researched everything that was going on in medical research about their defects and brought it up to their doctors, and that we interacted actively with all specialists working with them, asking for clarification for us at time and for them at times, ensuring that they knew as much or more than we did. It was purposeful care that had an expected point of diminishing need, with the reins turned over to the children as time passed. Time, then, was a positive. It allowed us to build a brighter future than an initial diagnosis proposed. Things got better over time. The kids gained skills an

  Although it is often difficult to find time to read while coping with cancer or providing care to loved ones with cancer, following one or more blogs on cancer and interacting with them can bring helpful information and peace of mind.  Here is a list of cancer blogs from the CCC. AONN+ Blog Meant for nurses, the topics in  this blog  are nonetheless helpful for any caregiver, such as this one on  compassion fatigue . There does not seem to be a search function, so you may need to sift through the topics to get to the ones you might find helpful, but the topics can be seen at a glance so it is not unduly time-consuming. Cancer Compass This is not a blog per se but rather an  informational message board  seeking to individualize and personalize information and care. Cancer Support Community Blog This blog  addresses specific cancers on a personal level, includes posts on multiple facets of cancer, and is very easily searched. (One cancer that it does not address is cancer of unknown pr

  The final conversation had with Carl's oncologist was what we needed in our first conversation but did not get. Not quite two weeks before Carl died, at which time he was in a subacute facility, having fallen the week before, been admitted to the hospital, then shifted to the care facility, the oncologist called us with the results of the latest scans. "Not good at all," he said, and he gave us three options: let nature take its course -- Carl could move to in-hospital hospice or in-home hospice (we chose the latter, and while we had a very bad experience with the initial hospice , it was still the best choice) try out another chemical compound - He told us he had given us the most appropriate and strongest ("the best") that he had, but if we wanted to try another mixture, he would look at other options take part in a clinical trial - He did not of any for Cancer of Unknown Primary and would have to do some research; there might not be any, and there might no

  I have written a bit about the process of pets dying before, along with the ways in which vets can be (or not) helpful. In that post, I shared a book by Barbara Karnes on understanding the pet-dying process, which I had found very helpful and which would have provided me with a fair amount of relief and guidance had I known about while Murjan was still alive. It explained much about his dying process and death that was comforting in retrospect. You can read that post HERE . In this post, I want to share the emotional aspects not only of the dying itself but also of the role of the support community (which should be supportive but in our case was not so, at least not to the extent that we needed and that could have been). As a result, my experience with Murjan's dying days were traumatic--more traumatic than they should have been because of lack of support from the veterinary hospital that should have been my source of support.  As I explained in the earlier post, Murjan had been