MSI Press Blog

  Excerpt from Anger Anonymous ANGER AS A DRUG Many label anger a negative emotion because it can be as toxic as any drug. Indulged without restraint, it causes untold wreckage to lives and relationships. When swallowed out of fear, it becomes a poison. It seeps into the body, making you depressed, nervous, and physically sick, and leaks out in passive-aggressive behavior. I prefer to call anger a difficult emotion because of the intensity of the energy it produces. The problem with anger is not in the feeling itself, which is natural, but in how it is expressed. It can be expressed beneficially in appropriately assertive behavior and in protesting injustice. Problems occur, however, when that energy is either under-controlled or over-controlled. Unchecked, it can result in aggressive, harmful behavior that destroys people and relationships. If internalized, it can wreak havoc with your body and emotions. Anger is a natural energy that helps you to survive when handled with care, compa

  Anger, in its narrow form, is one of the stages of dying that Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identified quite some time ago in her book, On Death and Dying . People go through various stages, according to Kubler Ross (though her stages have been disputed ), the second of which in her model is anger (though she herself later stated that the stages are not necessarily sequential).  While anger of the patient was the focus of Kubler Ross and of most books and posts about cancer (and other dying) patients, my recent experience is that anger comes also within and from the caregiver, who had not planned on this life-changing (and time-changing) activity and likely is not prepared for it, whether it be lack of skills, lack of knowledge, lack of medical communication or options, lack of time to accomplish all that is necessary and thereby creating considerable stress, or lack of temperament/patience, causing anger to well up as a reaction to inability to control the environment and limited to no time

Anger, a Powerful Energy  Anger is a natural energy, like fire. Our earliest ancestors witnessed the power of fire in lightning storms and raging forest fires. They also enjoyed the light and warmth it provided in their cold, dark world. It was like a god to them. They feared and worshiped it. They observed fire closely and came to appreciate its many forms and varying intensity, from a tiny flame to a roaring firestorm. They longed to find a way to harness and use its power for their benefit. Then, one day, some unknown caveman learned fire’s secret and how to start, stop, control, and use it. Life changed dramatically. We spend a lifetime learning to manage the fire of anger that burns in each of us. Its power fascinates, seduces, and frightens us. We both love and hate it. Anger takes on different meanings for each of us. Some of us like our angry emotions because they make us feel hot and alive. They mean we possess power and control. Others hate them because  they makes us

Congratulations to Dr. Dennis Ortman on his book,  Anger Anonymous , being selected as the  Kops-Fetherling International Book Awards  lega cy award in the category of psychology.   “When you feel in the grip of anger, ask yourself these questions: -Do you feel powerless to control your temper? -Does your anger frighten you so much that you feel compelled to suppress it? -Does your life feel unmanageable because of your anger? -Does your preoccupation with the unfairness of life and being wronged interfere with your happiness? -Do you feel hopeless about finding a cure for your temper? If you answer “yes” to these questions, you may be addicted to your anger. It acts like a drug that stimulates you, energizes you, and causes you to act insanely. <><><><><><><><> Viewing your anger as an addiction, Dr. Ortman guides you through the time-tested Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous to fi nd healing and growth. He shows how the Steps offer pr

  ANGER needs to be verbalized and needs an outlet. Show me a caregiver who says he or she never gets angry, and I’ll show you a liar or a saint.  Once, a patient who was 75 years old came into my office. She had been caring for her 97-year-old mother for ten years. I told her I was a caregiver, too, and remarked that I thought caring for someone else when you were 75 must be most difficult. With a sheepish look on her face she said, “You know, I’m ashamed to tell you this, but sometimes I get very angry." I responded, “Of course you do; that’s only natural. I get angry, too.”  She looked astonished. “You do?” she said, “I thought I was the only one.” I couldn’t believe my ears. I assured her that most caregivers experience this strong emotion more often than they would like to admit. She was very happy and relieved to hear that.  There is no way you can keep from feeling angry about seeing your loved one suffering and about having acquired such tremendous responsibi

  excerpt from Anger Anonymous -  WILL TO POWER: A CONTROL FREAK Alcoholics Anonymous describes alcoholics as “self-centered in the extreme,” whose trouble is caused by “the misuse of willpower.” Feeling so helpless, out of control with his life, the alcoholic craves power and control. When he first begins drinking, the alcoholic discovers the magical quality of alcohol to transform his moods and personality. He enjoys the pleasurable feeling of intoxication and escaping painful reality. With time and experience, he finds in alcohol the means to control his mind, mood, and world, whenever he wants. Alcohol is his personal genie in a bottle. For a time, alcohol is a wonder drug, the elixir of life—until the addiction takes hold. As his drinking increases, the miracle drug that freed him begins to control him. The instrument he used to master his world now enslaves him. Angry people, too, are power hungry and end up starving. Fred, a hard-driving businessman: “Success drives me. I’m a t

  Excerpt from Life, Liberty, and Covid-19 by Dennis Ortman - FORGIVENESS PROCESS Forgiveness requires baby steps. It is a process that unfolds over time, with many twists and turns. Here are some marks of authentic forgiveness: A whole person response Forgiveness does not mean just saying the words, “I forgive you.” It is the response to an offense that involves the whole person, requiring a change of heart toward the offender. It engages the will, emotions, and mind. Mercy begins with a decision to commit ourselves to a process of giving up our anger and replacing it with kindness toward the offender. That decision is made again and again. We acknowledge the pain of loss caused by those we believe acted in a way to destroy our lives. Finally, through forgiveness, we seek to understand ourselves and those who harmed us in a new light so we can heal. Make a decision Forgiveness does not just happen. Time alone does not heal all wounds. To be merciful is a conscious decision, a free ac

  (diagram and contents of diagram from Beth Frates via Twitter) Literature gives suggestions for caregiver as if life is calm and caregivers are never angry or stressed out (implying that it is wrong to be so). The reality is that even in the best of circumstances, i.e. the existence of good support systems, caregivers do burn out . Thinking that other caregivers do not and that it is wrong to be angry or somehow even to instinctively respond with an unkind word or behavior is somehow is unique and makes one a bad person creates quite a guilt trip later.  In normal, circumstances, caregivers become sleep-deprived. Sleep deprivation leads NATURALLY to short tempers, frequent frustration, and, yes, bad decisions. Individuals' decisions that are made while sleep deprived cannot be thought of as intentional or well considered. At one point, I was so sleep-deprived that I fell asleep and drove off the road and into a field of cabbage (fortunately, I was not on a major highway), with m

  Today's Publisher's Pride is Anger Anonymous by Dr. Dennis Ortman , which reached #116 on Amazon's bestseller ranking for anger management self-help. Book of the Year finalist Kops-Fetherling International Book Award Competition: Legacy Award in Psychology For more posts about Dr. Ortman and his books, click HERE . For more publisher pride posts, click  HERE . Sign up for the MSI Press LLC newsletter Follow MSI Press on  Twitter ,  Face Book , and  Instagram .   Interested in publishing with MSI Press LLC? Check out information on  how to submit a proposal . Interested in receiving a free copy of this or any MSI Press LLC book  in exchange for  reviewing  a current or forthcoming MSI Press LLC book? Contact editor@msipress.com. Want an  author-signed copy  of this book? Purchase the book at 25% discount (use coupon code FF25) and concurrently send a written request to orders@msipress.com. Want to communicate with one of our authors? You can! Find their contact informatio

  The following post comes from Jula Aziz, author of Lessons of Labor -- On getting triggered: Anger, guilt, blame, and the feelings we don’t want to feel OCTOBER 24, 2023  /  JULIA AZIZ I’m curious, who showed you how to feel and process anger in a healthy way? (Just kidding, that’s not a fair question!) Depending on our background, we may have learned to numb or suppress negative emotions, beat ourselves up, or lash out, but it’s pretty rare for an adult reading this today to have grown up in an environment that modeled well how to work with feelings like anger, guilt, shame, or fear. It’s something we as a species are still learning. We continue to trigger negative emotions in each other all the time though–that’s just being human and living in society with other humans. Part of growing into adulthood is learning how to respect what we feel while also respecting other people’s experience, and while that may sound extremely basic, it’s often extremely missing. You may have heard the