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Cancer Diary: Why the Complaint "I'm Cold" from a Cancer Patient Should Be Taken Seriously

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Carl frequently complained of being cold during the last two months of living/dying with cancer. Even with the heat at, for me an uncomfortable, 72 degrees (when we typically maintain it at a comfortable 66 degrees). Even when wearing a sweater or even something heavier and smothered in blankets. He was always complaining about being cold, and only after he died did I find out why -- and that he really was very cold because body temperature drops when someone is dying. We were constantly struggling over how to compromise on temperature. My son and I were extremely uncomfortable with the amount of heat Carl would set the thermostat for, as well as having concerns with the cost of the amount of gas needed to keep the house so hot (dying can create immense financial stress -- a topic Cancer Diary will address in the future).  In general, cold registered for me, having grown up in Maine and having spent a few winters in Siberia, pictured above, on a very different scale from the perceptio

Daily Excerpt: Clean Your Plate! (Liz Bayardelle) - Chapter 1: Do you need any money?

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Excerpt from  Clean Your Plate!  (Bayardelle)  -   Chapter 1 Do You Need Any Money?   The trope of Mom or Dad being a child’s ATM has gotten so common it’s not even a funny Internet meme anymore. (And if you’re at all familiar with the Internet, that’s really saying something.) Every parent knows that it’s probably bad just to hand their kid money whenever they want something, but that doesn’t mean we’re actually good at resisting the urge to do just that when the situation arises.  Why We Say It  If it helps assuage your parental guilt at all, this isn’t a bad impulse to have. You’ve spent the entirety of your child’s life trying to provide for all their needs, even trying to anticipate your child’s needs before they even occur so your little kidlet doesn’t have to want for anything. Do any of you moms out there have a purse whose sheer heft equals your body weight due to the abundance of granola bars, spare socks, and just in case toys?3 It’s because you want to make sure yo

Daily Excerpt: Exercising in a Pandemic (Young) - Healthy Advantages

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  excerpt from Exercising in a Pandemic   by Pat Young:  (note: good information for any time where opportunities are limited)  Healthy Advantages             A leading medical journal, Lancet, states that people who are physically active have only 35 days of poor mental health per year on average, compared to those who are not physically active, who have closer to 53 down days.             Another medical establishment, Nuvance Health, states that exercise boosts the immune system and keeps it functioning optimally. This is certainly an advantage during a pandemic such as the corona virus outbreak. Exercise reduces stress, prevents weight gain and improves sleep. Many exercise enthusiasts say they are actually energized after a workout. Exercising also offers the opportunity to enjoy social activities, something curtailed by pandemic safety precautions.             By working and exercising with family and friends (following social distancing rules), using online fitness resou

An Emotional Forecast for the Holidays (guest post by Julia Aziz)

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I've been getting to know Tony, our new mail carrier. Though his day job takes up most of his energy, his passion is screenwriting, and he recently enrolled in a screenwriting course at the nearby community college. His ideas are beautiful, like a Pixar version of why bad things happen to good people. What he went through as a kid made him into a mystic, and he wants to offer hope for young people that are struggling. Tony and I originally connected because a Sports Illustrated had been mistakenly delivered to my house. I was on my way to walk it over to the neighbor’s house when I met up with him. Tony later told me he was afraid I was going to yell at him since that was how residents often approached. He was very surprised when I came up to him with an easygoing manner, and he wanted to know why I was like that. Now the fact that friendliness is an anomaly is something to think about in and of itself. But more importantly, we've got to stop yelling at the mailman! I know

Daily Excerpt: How to Be a Good Mommy When You're Sick (Graves) - Checklists for Coping as a Mother with Chronic Illness

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excerpt from How to Be a Good Mommy When You're Sic k by Emily Graves -  Remembering The following checklists are meant to be used as a quick reference or as reminders as you reflect on areas of your life that you may be able to improve or make easier using the information discussed throughout the book. Sleep •        Establish a sleep routine for your family. •        Be prepared for the initial battle to establish that sleep routine. The first week will be difficult but you can do it. Use your will to make this happen. It will benefit your entire family. •        Make a list of how an established sleep routine would positively impact your and your family’s daily lives. Use this as encouragement during the initial battle. •        Make sure your established sleep routine includes an adequate amount of sleep for each person involved, especially yourself. Being exhausted exacerbates chronic health issues. Do not leave yourself out of this process. •        Include a nap for yoursel