Cancer Diary: The Logic and Illogic of Financial Responsibility While Dying
The Financial Aspects of Dying: Responsibilities, Expenses, and Emotional Decisions
Facing the end of life brings a unique set of emotional and financial challenges. For many, managing expenses during this time can become overwhelming, as the responsibilities of ensuring comfort and care often clash with the reality of dwindling resources. The emotional weight of this period can lead to decisions that, though comforting in the moment, may not always be financially logical. Understanding the costs and responsibilities involved in this stage of life is essential for navigating it with clarity.
One of the first financial responsibilities is the cost of adapting a home to accommodate the needs of a person who is ill or elderly. These adaptations can range from simple, affordable fixes—like purchasing a towel for extra grip—to more expensive, long-term investments such as a chair lift. A towel, for example, might be used cleverly to help someone pull themselves up from a seated position, offering practical assistance without much cost. However, other necessary changes, like the installation of a chair lift, can be significant expenses that many families may not be fully prepared for. Depending on the situation, the cost of such adaptations can quickly add up, and they are often just the beginning of what becomes a series of necessary but expensive adjustments.
In addition to home modifications, the costs of ongoing supplies—medications, medical equipment, or specialized furniture—can also escalate quickly. These items are essential for managing daily care and ensuring comfort, but they come with a hefty price tag. It’s not just the obvious purchases either; the often-overlooked costs of heating and utilities can also add financial strain. Many people aren’t aware of how much more it may cost to heat a home to a comfortable temperature during this time, particularly if additional medical equipment or home modifications require more energy.
What’s particularly striking during this period is how finances are often treated illogically, driven more by emotions than practicality. People may comfort themselves or their loved ones with purchases or indulgences that, in hindsight, may not have been necessary. It’s common for people to justify these decisions, perhaps believing that such purchases will ease the stress or bring a sense of normalcy. However, this tendency can lead to overspending or misguided financial priorities, adding to the burden of an already difficult time.
This was a particularly difficult point for me. As Carl's mind deteriorated (chemo brain, exacerbated by hypercalcemia), his credit card remained healthy -- and he used it again and again to buy useless gadgets that somehow comforted him, things that he somehow thought was going to help him like links to make a chain to hold his phone to his bedside in the rehab center (never worked in that way) or ear plugs that he seemed to think he needed but never used because his room was very quiet at the rehab center and mostly he was home. I asked him to stop ordering; I was concerned about a big bill after he died. He only ordered more -- as if thinking that would keep him from dying (I supposed). His brain just seemed incapable of understanding the future repercussions of these purchases that he could not afford and that would create a large debt when he passed. As much as he raged at the dying of the light (silently, in his own way), future planning seemed impossible for him.
As we confront the reality of end-of-life expenses, it’s crucial to plan ahead when possible, and to make mindful decisions about what is truly needed versus what feels comforting in the moment. Balancing the emotional weight of this time with a clear understanding of the financial implications can help avoid unnecessary stress and financial hardship. Ultimately, acknowledging these responsibilities—and the natural emotional reactions they can provoke—can help individuals and families better manage the practical aspects of dying, making the process a little more manageable both emotionally and financially.
For other Cancer Diary posts, click HERE.
Blog editor's note: As a memorial to Carl, and simply because it is truly needed, MSI Press is now hosting a web page, Carl's Cancer Compendium, as a one-stop starting point for all things cancer, to make it easier for those with cancer to find answers to questions that can otherwise take hours to track down on the Internet and/or from professionals. The CCC is expanded and updated weekly. As part of this effort, each week, on Monday, this blog will carry an informative, cancer-related story -- and be open to guest posts: Cancer Diary.
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