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Excerpt from Anger Anonymous, The Big Book on Anger Addiction (Ortman): A Powerful Energy

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Anger, a Powerful Energy  Anger is a natural energy, like fire. Our earliest ancestors witnessed the power of fire in lightning storms and raging forest fires. They also enjoyed the light and warmth it provided in their cold, dark world. It was like a god to them. They feared and worshiped it. They observed fire closely and came to appreciate its many forms and varying intensity, from a tiny flame to a roaring firestorm. They longed to find a way to harness and use its power for their benefit. Then, one day, some unknown caveman learned fire’s secret and how to start, stop, control, and use it. Life changed dramatically. We spend a lifetime learning to manage the fire of anger that burns in each of us. Its power fascinates, seduces, and frightens us. We both love and hate it. Anger takes on different meanings for each of us. Some of us like our angry emotions because they make us feel hot and alive. They mean we possess power and control. Others hate them because  they makes us

Excerpt from Depression Anonymous, The Big Book on Depression Addiction (Ortman): Sadness, The Pain of Living

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SADNESS, THE PAIN OF LIVING  Because we live in bodies which constantly change and interact with the world, we have feelings. We naturally have emotional reactions to what happens to us. Unpleasant experiences repulse us, moving us to withdraw to protect ourselves. Pleasant experiences energize us to seek more of what we desire. In our ever-changing world, we naturally feel joy as new life unfolds and sadness as the old and familiar passes away. Our sadness and sorrow are natural reactions that serve survival purposes. In fact, they are signs of intelligence. Animals live by their instincts, only in the present moment. Because we are conscious, we humans are aware of the passage of time, alert to loss and gain. We are aware of changes around us and their consequences on our wellbeing, and so we make adjustments. Hardwired into our brains is a built-in threat protection and safety-seeking system. In the experience of loss, sadness prepares us to let go of the past and prepare for

Excerpt from Anxiety Anonymous, The Big Book on Anxiety Addiction(Ortman): Insecure Attachment

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Insecure Attachment  A child is born completely helpless, dependent on his parents for survival. He cannot feed, clothe, or shelter himself. His parents care for his every need, not only his biological needs but especially his emotional ones. Without love and affection, a child cannot thrive and grow to emotional maturity. Because of his utter helplessness and dependence on his caregivers, a child is hard-wired, like other animals, to form an attachment bond with his parents. That bond keeps the child emotionally engaged with the parents and elicits their nurturing. Parenting is a fine art, more an art than a science, requiring maturity, wisdom, and generosity. It requires maintaining a fine balance between many opposing behaviors. It is like keeping a violin string at just the right tension to produce beautiful music, neither too loose nor too tight. In the midst of change, parents need to guide their children by being neither too strict nor too lax. Children require calm dire

In Memoriam: Boris Shekhtman

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  We regret to announce that on March 18, 2017, Boris Shekhtman passed into eternal rest after a long battle with cancer. His colleague and friend, Natalia Lord, wrote the following commentary on his obituary page: I have known Boris since 1982 as a colleague and friend. He was a genuine trailblazer in foreign language teaching, caring not only about what bits of language his students had acquired, but also focusing on how to help them effectively use their language in face t o face communication with native speakers. His belief that an instructor is responsible a student's proficiency, spurred him to come up with his Rules of Communication and eventually his own method of teaching. He continued to learn from his student's challenges and pass along the findings to the broader foreign language teaching community through his writings. The full significance of his contribution to the field probably won't be understood for quite some time because he was so far ahead of most of