Daily Excerpt: Mental Health Mayday (G. Bagdade) - Working with a Counselor
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Excerpt from Mental Health Mayday (G. Bagdade) -
WORKING WITH A COUNSELOR
“I’m fixing a hole where the rain gets in, and stops my mind from
wandering.”
(Lennon & McCartney, 1967)
When I started my Bachelor’s program at Penn State, I was well
aware that I would have difficulty in the whole process of going back to
school. Finding time to write papers, studying terms on notecards, this
jaunt back to academia was enough to keep a large supply of Excedrin
Migraine on hand, for sure! I remember during my first semester my wife
told me to take classes that I would enjoy. So, I signed up for Humans as
Primates because I always had an affinity for animals and the fossil record.
When the class was completed, I ran to the nearest computer to reveal my
impending score. Being a C+ student my whole scholastic career, I was
expecting to follow suit in my old ways. A few keystrokes later and… all
A’s?! My brain could barely comprehend the information my eyes were
filtering in. Kismet has a way of messing with an individual. For example,
when someone goes to Las Vegas for the first time, their beginner’s luck
will surely net them a glorious bounty, steering them into a large amount
of confidence from there forward. I was not going to be fooled by the
likes of these antics. Next semester, all A’s and one B! The subsequent
semesters seemed to follow suit in this similar trajectory. I was on a roll,
until I had to take Algebra. I shudder writing that word to this very day.
Math was my weak point, my Achilles heel, my nemesis. I grabbed all
the confidence I could by mustering up what I had accomplished during
the last multiple semesters and took the placement exam. The results read
something like this:
Mr. Bagdade,
It has come to our attention that you have recently completed
the Math placement exam. After reviewing the results, we have
determined that you are not qualified for anything that involves
any type of math expression, whatsoever. We can offer you a
remedial class in Algebra as a consolation; however, it will be
expensive and will not count toward your degree audit. Please
consider giving up, as it is an easier alternative to the hell you will
face ahead of you.
Signed,
The Entire Math Department.
I ended up taking the remedial course and aced it. The final straw
was ahead of me. The College Algebra course at Penn State was like a
really good hockey game. There were ups; there were downs. When all
hope was exhausted, a shining light of victory would appear. I hired a
tutor for the final who turned out to be a large Ukrainian man who
would yell at me until I got the answer correct. After the final, I went to
my computer. I pressed the keys with one hand while shielding my eyes
with the fingers on my other hand. And the final grade was…
C-. C-! I jumped for joy. C-! I had passed College Algebra, and this
would be the only class I would get less than a B in my whole collegiate
career. Now, all I have to do is get past Statistics and everything would
be hunky dory.
My understanding of math is that some people comprehend Algebra
better than Geometry, or vice versa. It just makes more sense to them. If
you ask anyone who has attended college, they will tell you that Statistics
is one of the worst courses they have taken. I returned to my computer
and, with great dread, enrolled in the course. But, my wife nicely placed
the power of suggestion on me for this situation. She simply said to me
that Statistics is an essential part of my would-be career and that I should
embrace this course. “Who knows? You might enjoy it!” She quipped. I
not only aced it, but my wife was right. It was strangely enjoyable.
One of the exciting things about Statistics is the idea that with
research, a study can prove something more worthy than another. For
example, as I entered my career as a counselor, I found there were copious
amounts of theories, techniques, and models that I could use in my
practice. What would distinguish one from another would be if it had
been tested. It is the scientific way to take an idea that was thought of
one way and expound on it in a different light. I promised to myself that
I would do work that was empirically tested and thoroughly vetted by a
multitude of people that are a lot smarter than me so my clients would
have the optimum care ahead of them.
Techniques that I use quite often come from the world of EMDR,
but have roots in Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT). Some call
them grounding techniques, others may refer to them as mindfulness.
Ultimately, the goal is the same and the client will arrive at a more
present, less anxious place. When someone is suffering from emotional
trauma, they may reveal this in many ways. The client can reveal to you,
the clinician, that they are simply angry, or they may tell you that they
have thoughts that they cannot control. Another might tell you that they
have copious amounts of anxiety that cripple them in some situations.
Any way it is packaged, the symptom is a summation of its parts. There is
trauma that is causing this notion. There are some techniques that must
be done with another person, and there are others that the client can do
individually. Both are appropriate, however, the client will sometimes
rely on the counselor for this additional help, so the techniques they can
do on their own would prove to be quite useful. The goal is to allow the
client to become completely present. When the anxiety, anger, ruminating
thoughts, or whatever ails them starts, it is mostly in the client’s head.
They are, essentially, suffering from a state that, much like a feedback
loop, does not allow them to recognize the outside world. In order to
combat this, it is essential to get them to not only recognize that there is
a whole world right in front of their nose, but that they can become calm
by doing simple techniques.
When someone is feeling this way, they can do something comparable
to the explanation of combing one’s hair. Picture it. You have come home
from a horrible day at work. The stress of the day is eating you alive
and now you must come home to two rowdy children and a demanding
spouse. As you digest this, the anxiety fills your whole being almost to
the point of not being able to function. Mindfulness allows us to focus
our energy on the here and now, bringing us back to reality and taking us
out of our head. This can be done by combing one’s hair. Now, it would
be safe to assume that the subject has hair prior to this explanation, but
some (like myself) are folliclely challenged. But, the notion fits many bills
and can be rebranded in many different ways. When the client takes the
hairbrush in their hand, and they slowly brush their hair in a methodical
way, they are now focusing their attention outwardly. They are feeling
the handle of the brush, they are feeling their hair run through the teeth
of the brush, and their scalp has a sensation all its own. Whatever was
going on in the client’s head has now been absorbed by the efforts of
combing their head. This process forces them to become present and
aware of where they are in the world, right now. No longer will they be
thinking about all the ills prior to the combing of the hair.
A common technique that is used to achieve this is commonly called
the Five Senses Technique. The counselor asks the client to gather in
their surroundings. The client will then look around and recite five
things that they see in their field of vision. Next, the counselor will ask
the client to tell them four things they can hear. After their response,
the counselor will follow up by asking the client for three things they
can touch, two things they can smell, and one thing they can taste. The
client is allowing themselves to be present in their life and will no longer
be stuck in their head space. With existing trauma, the fight/flight/freeze
response is overcome by doing this simple exercise. The client’s anxiety
level will come down to a manageable level.
Some techniques can be done by the individual themselves. These
are desirable when the client is not with the counselor and would like to
represent mindfulness by themselves. My daughter and I have played a
game for many years that I feel is a useful tool in my practice when I have
a client that presents with anxiety, anger, ruminating thoughts, or any
other trauma related behavior. This is called the Rainbow Technique.
When the client’s symptoms come on, they can find something in their
environment that is representative of the colors of the rainbow. Red,
orange, yellow, green, blue, purple. My daughter and I would be driving
along and spot cars on the road that are representative of these colors. We
would be careful to find them in the order that they are presented in the
rainbow itself, but once this was exhausted, we would do the reverse of
the original plan. Purple, blue, green, yellow, orange, and red. This can
be done as many times as required to allow the client to become present
and overcome whatever it is that is ailing them at the time. The client can
also measure their anxiety prior to the exercise (on a 1-10 scale), as well as
after the exercise in order to see if they have improved.
The mind is quite complex. However, at times, it can hinder our
growth. These techniques, in addition to many other items that can
allow the client to become present, are useful in many ways. Much of talk
therapy is deciphering what it is the client is experiencing and finding a
way to combat the unnecessary behavior. Working with a counselor will
allow the client to find ways that work for them specifically. It is common
knowledge that what might work for me, might not work for you. The
difference between a good counselor and a great counselor (aside from
rapport) is marked improvement of the client. I oftentimes ask clients
that have been in therapy for a long time what they expect now that is
different from past experiences with counseling. Because isn’t it the goal
for the client to have resolve from their main issues? I would like to think
so. When someone goes to an orthopedist for tendonitis of the knee, it is
the goal of the specialist to resolve the client’s pain and return them to a
path of full functioning. The same goes for treating mental health.
Now, relatively speaking, every counselor is not suited for every client.
Some clients prefer same sex counselors. Others prefer counselors of the
opposite sex. One of the most valuable items when picking a suitable
counselor is using a little research. First, every counselor has their target
population they want to work with. For example, some counselors prefer
to treat children. Others like working with addiction. Sometimes, the
population a counselor works with correlates with the adversity they may
have dealt with in their personal life. The takeaway is that counselors
prefer to work with certain populations. Finding someone that fits
your issues takes a little bit of research, but can go a long way. Many
professional databases will provide this information when reaching out
to a counselor.
Once the appropriate counselor has been chosen from the pool, the
plight is not over. A good counselor will spend the first couple sessions
trying to develop rapport with the client. Finding common ground is
essential to allowing the counselor into your world. If a child is into
collecting Pokémon cards, it would behoove the counselor to talk about
this with the client. When the client is in an environment where they
are sharing parts of their world that they enjoy, I wholeheartedly assure
you the counselor will benefit. My situation is not like others. I am a
firefighter and a counselor. This has placed me in an environment that
makes me uniquely qualified to treat firefighters because I have been in
many situations throughout my career that allow me to empathize with
my clients. It goes hand-in-hand with why firefighters often couple with
nurses and police officers. At the end of the day, it is easier to explain to
them the main story, instead of explaining the job specific details. My
clients often tell me that they like coming to me because they can tell me
a story about work and I will be able to relate to them sincerely. Now, I
would be a fool if I told you that you had to go to a counselor that is/was
a firefighter. We simply are not that prevalent. So, what are you supposed
to do? It comes down to how well you work with the counselor and how
much preparation they have had on the subject you are in need of.
There are a growing number of counselors that care for first responders.
Some are, or were, in the fire service; others have a spouse or family
member that is a firefighter. Others are just interested in working with
this population and specialize in the psychological needs of a firefighter.
One of the most common misnomers I hear from firefighters is they
do not understand the differences between each of the specific mental
health professionals that they would go and see. Allow me to explain this.
A Psychiatrist is a doctor and has been through medical school. This is
the highest level in the profession. Their aim is to assess, diagnose, and
prescribe various psychotropic medications to their clients and evaluate
them regularly. Next is the Psychologist. Psychologists have schooling that
takes them through to the Doctoral level, which makes them doctors, but
not medical doctors. In the clinical setting, they can administer various
complex assessments and do talk therapy. They cannot administer
medication to their clients. Social Workers and Professional Counselors
are Master’s level clinicians. Their aim is to provide talk therapy from
a holistic means, drawing from a multitude of theories and models. My
personal and professional opinion is, whether educated to the Doctoral
level or Master’s level, a qualified, professional, appropriate therapist is
worth their weight in gold. Moving to a higher level of education is not
necessary, unless that clinician is well versed in the requirements that the
individual needs. Ultimately, it comes down to comfort level, knowledge,
and rapport. During the first couple sessions, it is your responsibility to
ask questions of your therapist that you require answers to. The street
goes both ways. If it’s not working for you, do not feel abashed about
canceling the helping relationship and finding a better fit. Being your
own advocate and knowing what is good for you is essential to your own
personal growth.
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