Daily Excerpt: Passing On: How to Prepare Ourselves for the Afterlife (Romer) - The Message

 




The following excerpt comes from Passing On: How to Prepare Ourselves for the Afterlife by Joanna Romer.

CHAPTER ONE

The message

One day while meditating I received the following message:

It is time to begin the ascent. Don’t be nervous. There is nothing scary about it if you’re aware. On the other hand, don’t over-dramatize. This is not about writing a book but about you. You are transcending. It’s what you wanted: to be conscious of the crossing over. Of course, you can write about it, but also learn, take it in; it’s an education.

Now, what would you do if you got that message? Would you take it seriously? I did, for a couple of reasons. First, I had just turned 70 a month prior to its receipt. Of course turning 70 does not automatically mean the end of life as we know it, but it does start to make you think a bit about what’s to come. I’m reminded of that TV commercial where a woman at a restaurant is handed a note saying, “Your heart attack will arrive at 2 pm tomorrow”, and the announcer says, “Sarah’s heart attack didn’t come with a warning.” The ad is for a medication of some kind, but I can’t help wondering if we do get a warning, or as I’d prefer to think about it, an invitation that we are going to go somewhere else, maybe soon.

The second reason I paid attention to the message is because a friend of mine was just diagnosed with cancer. We cannot help but feel our own mortality when that happens; even more so when someone dear to us passes on. On hearing the news of my friend, I suddenly felt very close to the next world. So many of my loved ones are already there, including my parents and my beloved husband Jack, who passed away at age 71.

So what about my “message”? What does it mean---should I do anything? Actually I think it’s enough at this moment to acknowledge its reality. There comes a point when we all have to do that, and we can do it either struggling to hang on at the last minute, or in advance, so that we float out gradually in full knowledge and acceptance of what’s happening. I prefer the latter.

What is needed for that to happen is a great deal of love. We have to love ourselves and everyone we know as we never have before; we have to look upon the process as natural and beautiful. Natural? Of course, what could be more natural than something everybody, without exception, goes through. Beautiful? It can be, if we allow it to be so.

The question is, how? By first of all de-stigmatizing everything about it. We need to stop feeling ashamed of the fact we’re going to die, stop trying to deny it’s ever going to happen, stop bottling up our feelings about the whole thing like we used to do about sex. Do you remember, those of you who grew up in the 1950s, not being allowed to talk about sex? That all changed in the following decade, of course, but as a kid and pre-teen in the 50s, I followed the rules. Not talking about sex was the norm.

It’s the same now with discussing death. We need to make that word as natural and normal as “sex”, because it certainly is---more so, for some. In the 21st century, we have found our voice about a lot of things---domestic abuse, child abuse, gay rights, the treatment of those with mental and physical challenges. All these situations are accorded dignity---yet we still view death and dying somewhat askance, as if we’re

waiting for some scientific miracle to keep us alive so we won’t have to face it. Maybe, we say, if we just don’t think about it, it will go away…

Probably not. And after watching the movie “The Age of Adaline,” in which the heroine stays age 29 for six decades, I’m not so sure that eternal life on earth is what I’d really want. Yet to go on, eternally, in another dimension, is what many of us do desire---at least I assume you’re interested if you’re reading this book.

Already in the past few weeks I am noticing a difference in what I feel about my inner life vs. the physical reality of my existence. Internally, I am excited, sometimes excessively happy. Externally, I can see that my physical radius is a bit more limited: I can’t bounce back from staying up really late like I used to; I can’t push myself exercising with no consequences. We’ve all heard people declare, “Inside, I feel like I’m 35 years old”---(or 25, or 20)---yet outside they say they can hardly recognize themselves. This may be a shame if we’re focusing on the physical limitations: the decreased strength or sagging jaw line. But if we keep focusing on the internal “age 35” or however you define that expectant sense of energy, curiosity, and enthusiasm in your consciousness---maybe it’s not so bad.

In fact it may not be bad at all. That increased awareness of the internal you is what I call the beginning of the “ascent.” It is the transcending into the you that is stepping up to the challenge, that is ready to go forward. It is the you that accepts the invitation to the afterlife and starts to prepare for the transition.

                              


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