An Interview with My Son Who Has ADHD: Guest Post from Dr. Kristin Wilcox, in Honor of ADHD Month
An
Interview with My Son Who Has ADHD
A Personal
Perspective: What it's like to have inattentive-type ADHD.*
What is it
like to have inattentive-type ADHD? To pay attention to everything all the
time? Andrew, my son, vividly describes his inattentive ADHD brain as an
overstuffed garbage can—the lid won’t stay on, and stuff is falling out all
over the floor.
Kids with
inattentive-type ADHD do not fit the stereotype of the hyperactive, impulsive
child who is in constant motion, blurting out answers in the classroom. They
often fly under the radar at school with symptoms of inattention,
disorganization, and forgetfulness, and are perceived as lazy, uninterested,
and, even worse, stupid. Since there is a misunderstanding of inattentive ADHD
symptoms, I recently asked Andrew what else he would want others to know about
his ADHD.
I am
smart, but I don’t learn like everyone else.
My son,
like other kids with ADHD, often struggles to pay attention for extended
periods of time in the classroom, especially when a teacher is simply lecturing
to the class. He finds when teachers use visual or auditory aids it’s easier
for him to focus and learn the material. This is not surprising because kids
with ADHD tend to be more visual learners. According to my son, his ADHD brain
is constantly visualizing how to do something or how something works.
One of my
son’s favorite classes was an honors-level networking class that he took over
the course of two semesters in high school. Although the information was
difficult, it held his attention because it was presented in a hands-on, visual
way. This method of teaching made it easy for my son to learn and retain the
information, leading to him passing the difficult network certification exam
and being recognized at his high-school graduation for his outstanding
performance in the class.
My
behavior isn’t always intentional, and I am working on that.
My son
said he wishes he could be focused, organized, on time, and motivated. But my
son is an expert in the art of procrastination, has a bedroom that looks like a
bomb just exploded, forgets to turn in assignments for school, and has no idea
how long he has been sitting at his computer playing a video game.
Executive
functioning, the neurological process allowing us to pay attention to what is
important at the time, is impacted in individuals with ADHD. Executive
functioning is important in planning, initiating tasks, time management,
organization, and emotional control. So, something that may seem simple to you
or me, like turning in school assignments on time, kids with ADHD struggle with
every day.
My son
acknowledges that after experiencing the negative consequences of his
procrastination (e.g., failing grades) he is finally realizing the necessity of
working on ways to help himself do better. He admits that the planner he
finally started using his senior year in high school helped him to keep up with
schoolwork and other activities. My son currently attends a small university
that focuses on aviation and aerospace. He mentioned that setting goals, like
his desire to attend this college, was helpful in motivating him to do better
in school.
I
wouldn’t change having ADHD.
According
to my son, one of the biggest positives of having ADHD is his creativity. His
ability to think outside the box gives him an edge. Since his ADHD brain pays
attention to everything all the time, my son can make connections between
things that would appear unrelatable to a neurotypical brain. And that makes my
son an innovative thinker.
My son
also views his hyperfocus as an asset. Despite his struggle to focus on mundane
tasks, my son can hyperfocus on something he is interested in, almost to the
point of obsession. He is a self-taught expert in anything relating to space
travel and technology. The combination of my son’s innovative ADHD brain and
his passion for learning about space technologies led him to be selected as a
national finalist in a NASA-sponsored contest about traveling to Mars.
Independence,
risk-taking, high energy, curiosity, humor, artistic gifts, emotionality,
impulsiveness, and argumentativeness are traits that have been identified in
creative individuals, entrepreneurs, and children with ADHD.
This is
my advice to someone with ADHD.
My son’s
advice is to start managing your ADHD as soon as you are diagnosed. He was
fortunate to be diagnosed in early elementary school, as most kids with
inattentive-type ADHD are not diagnosed until middle school or later. My son
said his early diagnosis and parent support were critical in helping him manage
his ADHD. My son’s other piece of advice is to embrace the positives of your
ADHD and don’t be defined by your inabilities but rather by your extraordinary
abilities.
If you
want to learn more, read our award-winning book Andrew's
Awesome Adventures with His ADHD Brain. Andrew and I share our story with his ADHD
hoping to increase awareness about the often-overlooked and underdiagnosed
inattentive subtype of ADHD.
*A version
of this article originally appeared on Kristin Wilcox’s blog, Mythbusting ADHD,
on Psychology Today, September 13, 2022.
Literary Titan Gold Award winner
Read more posts about the Kristin and Andrew Wilcox and their book HERE.
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