Daily Excerpt: Since Sinai (Shannon Gonyou): Foreword

 

Book Excerpt from Since Sinai by Shannon Gonyou (currently in Amazon Top 100 Jewish biographies)

Foreword

This book is about my journey as a woman raised Catholic in a town with very little exposure to Jews and Jewish ideas who subsequently became Jewish. If you picked up this book, it could mean one of a few things. Maybe your family has been Jewish for generations, and you’re curious about why a total stranger to Judaism would want to join the community. Maybe you’re considering Judaism for yourself and are curious about what the process of conversion will look and feel like. Perhaps you’re a devoted Christian, curious about what would lead someone away from Christianity. This book will strive to provide a satisfactory answer to all of those questions.

My high school English teacher told me that every piece of writing is a persuasion piece. I think that’s true, but this book is not here to persuade you that Christianity is “wrong” or that Judaism is “right.” I won’t even attempt to persuade you that Judaism was right for me because only I can know that. The persuasion piece of this narrative is that converts can, and do, find a meaningful home in Judaism, and I’m an example of one of those converts.

I’ve never written a book before, and I’m a little overwhelmed by the heaviness of my first book being about something so deeply personal, historically rich, and philosophically complex. Religion can be difficult to talk about. For that reason, in everyday life, I mostly don’t. Many of my acquaintances know that I converted to Judaism, but I sense that they’re afraid to ask why. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing because while I love to talk about Judaism, I don’t love that people often expect me to opine on the correctness of my belief system in comparison to theirs. Because of that, it feels important to preface this one-way conversation with a note about what my book is not equipped to do.

This book cannot definitively help you decide whether you should become Jewish. It cannot meaningfully help you decide whether conversion is ultimately right for you, nor which movement of Judaism to choose. This book will not purport to tell you which religion is right or wrong because I don’t think spirituality is a matter of fact versus fiction as much as it’s a matter of feeling at home in your own belief system. This book is certainly not meant to convince anyone to leave Catholicism or Christianity like I did. If you’re happy with your spiritual beliefs—or lack of spiritual beliefs—I am very happy for you.

This book cannot serve as a scholarly guide to Jewish versus Christian theology. I only feel qualified to speak on my experiences with religion, not to be the definitive voice on what each faith stands for. Other Christians experience Christianity differently than I did, and other Jews experience Judaism differently. I also don’t want anyone to think that all Jewish converts were formerly Christian. Some are, many are not. If you are reading this book to find out what conversion programs are like and you don’t harbor any curiosity about what led me from Catholicism to Judaism, you are more than welcome to skip to Chapter 9. I’ll never know! 

This book isn’t meant to be an accounting of what Jews believe. Other authors have covered that topic extensively, and different Jews believe different things; that’s half the fun. I’m not going to tell you what I think happens after we die, nor will I be using this book to share my thoughts on the State of Israel. This book also cannot convince anybody that following any religion is inherently good. Maybe a religious institution harmed you, or maybe you’re a very comfortable atheist who doesn’t get the draw of organized religion. You have my respect, anyway.

What this book can do is tell the story of one convert (me) in order to (hopefully) de-mystify the process of why someone who grew up without knowing more than three Jews would want to later become Jewish herself. In the name of transparency, I grew up Roman Catholic and was involved in churches of various denominations for 25 years of my life. I later converted under the auspices of the Conservative Judaism movement in the United States, often called Masorti Judaism outside of North America. I am not in a position to speak to the ways in which Orthodox, Reform, Reconstructionist, or other conversion processes differ, and this book will not disparage any of those movements. In fact, now that I live in New York City, I attend events hosted by many denominations, from Chabad to post-denominational.

You might be curious about what it is that I believe. I’m not presenting any of my ideas as “Truth,” but everyone has a bias. It’s important to know mine up front. I am a Jew who identifies with the American Conservative movement. I believe, as my wise cantor Liz Berke once suggested, in one God, some days less (but usually one)[BL1] . I do not believe that God is a man or my father. I read the Torah as rich and timeless literature with many possible meanings for our lives today. I believe that our matriarchs and patriarchs did some things well and also made mistakes, much like us. I believe that community traditions often have value even in the absence of an explanation. I believe that you’ve found your religious sweet spot when you feel both empowered and challenged by your practice.

I am a fervent believer that the faithful are called to take care of the earth and to take care of each other. I believe that every person you meet was created b’tzelem Elohim, or in the image of the divine. Because of that, I believe in working to create a Jewish community that supports women, Jews of color, queer and trans Jews, patrilineal Jews, interfaith families, and converts. I think that sex-positivity is a better framework for young adults than “purity,” but if you disagree, definitely skip Chapter 3. I believe that we should strive to treat the dead with respect and mourners with great care and that helping mourners cope and move on after a loss is an essential function of the community. I believe that to sin, per the Hebrew definition, simply means to “miss the mark.” I believe that humans are not inherently sinners and do not need to be saved from our sinfulness; we just need to be surrounded by people who can help us grow as we muck our way through life. I love the process of tshuva, the Jewish version of making amends. I believe that we are all God’s partners in creation, and that means that we should be careful and intentional about the things we do and say. I think that living a life of morality and service is important, whether you’re conventionally religious or not. I believe that no one can tell anyone else what the right decisions for themselves are, but our religious communities can provide a helpful framework for working through life’s more trying moments. I believe that changing one’s mind is a sign of strength, not flimsiness. I believe that forgiveness is generally good but is not always required. I believe that we have so much to work on in this life that time spent thinking about a hypothetical next life is not usually time well spent. I believe that Jesus was a controversial member of the Jewish community and not that he was a deity. Finally, I believe the best thing about Judaism is that other Jews can disagree on most of this, and we’ll probably still be able to share a Shabbat dinner in peace.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

Book Description

Raised in a heavily Catholic suburb of Detroit, Michigan, Shannon grew up focusing on two things: how to do enough good deeds to get into heaven and how to stay pure enough to escape hell. In college, she followed many of her peers into an Evangelical church known for guitars, drum, religious-based shame, and the idea that without Jesus she was nothing.

But when she encountered Judaism on that same campus, a spark ignited within her and refused to be put out. Judaism felt obvious, familiar. After a falling out with her biological mother and two miscarriages, she found the courage to send the most important email of her life: she asked the local Jews by Choice program to accept her as a student.

Honest and unflinching, Shannon's story of coming home to Judaism encourages everyone-- Christian, atheist, Jewish, and anything in between-- to search relentlessly for the place where they belong.

Keywords

Jewish conversion story, Judaism for converts, Leaving Evangelical Christianity, Faith journey memoir, Religious identity, Interfaith experiences, Deconstructing Christianity, Finding spiritual belonging, Miscarriage and faith, Healing from religious shame, Jews by Choice, Catholic upbringing. Spiritual transformation, Women and faith, Religious trauma recovery, Personal journey to Judaism., Faith after loss, Spiritual resilience, Deconstructing Evangelical beliefs, Rediscovering faith

For more posts about Shannon and her book, click HERE.

For more posts about Judaism, click HERE.

For more posts about conversion, click HERE.

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