Precerpt from Grandma's Ninja Training Diary: "Help! I've fallen and can't get up!"

 

The following is a precerpt (book excerpt prior to publication) from Grandma's Ninja Training Diary (Leaver & Renz).

"Help! I've fallen an can't get up!"

I see articles all the time about people falling and being unable to get back up. It’s a common fear—and for good reason. I lived that reality when my 300-pound husband fell and I couldn’t lift him on my own. Strong as I am, I’m not dead-weight-a-foot-taller-than-me strong. Firemen came to help, twice in one day. That second fall sent him to the hospital, where scans revealed stage 4 Cancer of Unknown Primary—no symptoms beforehand. During his final months, falls became frequent. If I was out grabbing groceries or medicine, he’d be on the floor for long minutes before help arrived. He lost 50 pounds, but I still couldn’t lift him alone. It took neighbors, phone calls, and coordinated hoisting to get him back up.

Now, my doctor frets over my own risk of falling, especially with osteopenia—courtesy of omeprazole, which I need for Barrett’s esophagus. That medication speeds up bone loss in a rare few (lucky me), so I juggle a tightrope act: just enough omeprazole to keep my esophagus from turning rogue, and just enough weight-bearing activity to keep osteoporosis from creeping in. It's a biological version of rock climbing—minus the harness.

Speaking of rock climbing, I do that at the gym. Falls don’t worry me there. Padded floors, trained muscles, and lots of friendly folks nearby for a rescue if needed (not needed yet, knock on wood; I just bounce back up off the mats).

Falls, though, have long been part of my life. I’m a lifelong klutz—and I blame that first-grade switcheroo from left-handed to right-handed. Brain says zig, body zags, and down I go. If spiders dare linger on the doorframe, I ninja kick. Sometimes the spider vanishes, and so do I… downward.

Although I haven’t ice-skated in ages (California isn't exactly an icy paradise), I’d probably be a regular visitor to the horizontal realm now if I tried. Still, I take comfort in my ninja reflexes. I tripped twice this year—silly reasons both times—but I quickly regained my balance, without falling, thanks to consistent training. That’s the trick: fall-proofing through balance training. 

Nonetheless, even a "well-balanced" life, so to speak, doesn’t mean never going down. It means bouncing back up. And bounce I do.

I practice "down and up" every day. My disabled son’s shoes live under the hall table—retrieved only by floor-level maneuvers. Five litter boxes require daily squat raids and kneeling for cleaning (plus pebble scatter collection from overzealous cats). My daughter, a paraplegic with nimble fingers, drops things under her bed with impressive regularity. Recovery missions involve stomach-wriggling for retrieval. These daily reps aren’t just chores—they’re unintentional training drills. 

Intentional training drills are even more useful. I start the morning not with coffee, but rather I wake up with what the Russians call "utrennaya gimnastika" (morning calisthenics). I stretch. I squat. I kneel. I sit, balancing on my bum, for Russian twists, leg lifts, bicycle crunches, and bird dog exercises. After each, I stand up. I face the floor, close-up, for push-ups and planks. Then, each time, I stand up again. Alignment angels on the floor? Sure. Followed by—guess what—standing up.

Balance drills? You bet. During my morning calisthenics, I balance on each leg for up to a couple of minutes per leg. I also stand on one leg during the day if I am washing dishes, combing my hair (that takes more balance control than you might think), brushing my teeth, taking a shower, you name it. Wherever two legs may be the norm, I try for one. (I can always put the second leg down for balance when I start to teeter.)

I rarely fall by accident anymore. I catch myself; I right myself; I regain my balance. And if I go to the floor, it is nearly always with intention to retrieve something down there or to use it for exercising. And I get up; that completes the chore, or that finishes the exercise.

Of course, falling happens. I am not immune to the laws of gravity. What matters is what comes next and being ready to bounce up (unless something breaks--hopefully, not) and go on.

Book Description:

Grandma’s Ninja Training Diary is the inspiring true story of a 75-year-old grandmother who dares to dream big—by training for American Ninja Warrior. Teaming up with coach and trainer Brittany Renz, she embarks on a three-year journey to build strength, resilience, flexibility, balance, and endurance—starting from scratch.

Told in a dynamic mix of diary entries, coaching insights, and behind-the-scenes reflections, this book chronicles the ups and downs of late-in-life athletic training. From gym workouts to rock climbing, yoga to injury recovery, sleep to mindset—every aspect of the transformation is explored with honesty and humor.

Grandma shares what she’s learning; Coach Brittany explains why she’s right—or wrong. Together, they offer a realistic, encouraging look at what it takes to pursue an extraordinary goal at any age.

Part training manual, part motivational memoir, Grandma’s Ninja Training Diary is packed with practical tips for readers over 50 who want to improve their fitness, health, and confidence. You’ll also get insider insights into the world of American Ninja Warrior, strategies for balancing real life with ambitious goals, and hard-won wisdom about success, failure, and the joy of simply showing up.

keywords

Ninja Warrior training; senior fitness; fitness over 50; fitness over 70; older adult fitness; American Ninja Warrior; memoir of transformation; late-in-life fitness; motivational memoir; women in sports; senior strength training; training after 70; inspirational grandma; fitness journey; personal training for seniors; female athletes over 70; diary-style memoir; older adult exercise; aging and athleticism; functional fitness for seniors; training for American Ninja Warrior; becoming an athlete after retirement; strength, balance, and flexibility training; rock climbing after 70; coach and trainee relationship; mindset and resilience; goal-setting at any age; senior fitness transformation; practical tips for senior health; never too old to start

To read more precerpts from Grandma's Ninja Training Diary, click HERE.

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