Precerpt from Raising God's Rainbow Makers - Noelle Learns to Self-Catheterize
Noelle learned to self‑catheterize when she was nine. It did not happen easily — not even close — but it had to happen. She was in a private school with no nurse on staff, which meant that every four hours Lizzie had to leave her own class, meet her sister in the bathroom, and catheterize her. (The things Lizzie learned young in order to help Noelle and Doah!)
At the time, we were staying with a friend whose son was a year older than Noelle. He also had spina bifida, and sometime over the previous year he had learned to self‑cath. That changed the landscape. Clearly, it was possible. But “possible” is not the same as “achievable on command.”
Nurses tried to teach her. Nope. Doctors explained it. Nope. Lizzie walked her through it while she was doing it. Still nope. Noelle simply could not figure out the path of the catheter through the urethra to the bladder. She poked and poked for a while, then gave up. If I encouraged her to try again, she balked — and often cried.
Eventually it became clear that the only way forward was to give her uninterrupted time to experiment, without the option of quitting early. So, I closed the bathroom door and walked away, telling her to come out when she had figured it out. Time on task is key to many things: speaking a foreign language, memorizing a poem, and, yes, learning to cath.
I went into the living room, picked up a book, and occupied myself while Noelle was getting her time on task. Ten minutes passed. Fifteen. More. I was nearly halfway through the book (yes, I am a fast reader) when Noelle suddenly appeared in front of me, beaming.
“I did it!”
And from that moment on, she was independent. Lizzie no longer had to leave class — which was good, because high school was coming and that particular duty was not going to fit into her schedule. Friends’ mothers no longer had to take over cathing at slumber parties. Doors that had been closed to Noelle opened, and doors that would have closed stayed open. Liberation creates opportunity.
Later, when she was in rehab after surgery, the nursing staff kept being late to cath her. She finally told them to just leave the supplies in the room; she could do it faster — and on time. So, they did. Liberation, again.
And that is how it is now. The need to cath is just a blip on the radar of daily activities. Automatic. Like any other kid zipping into the bathroom for a pit stop.
Book Description:
Raising God's Rainbow Makers
A Family Memoir of Grace, Grit, and Growing Up Different
What happens when a military family welcomes four children—each with wildly different needs—into a world not always built to support them?
In Raising God’s Rainbow Makers, one mother shares the remarkable journey of raising two children with complex disabilities—one with spina bifida, one with CHARGE Syndrome—and two intellectually gifted children, all born in different states during years of military life. Through medical crises, educational challenges, and societal roadblocks (both intentional and unintentional), this honest and inspiring memoir tells the story of how one family built a life of strength, compassion, and resilience.
With warmth and unflinching honesty, the author reflects on emergency surgeries, IEP battles, unexpected victories, and the fierce sibling bonds that formed in the face of it all. The children—now grown—bear witness to the power of support, faith, and never giving up.
This is not just a story of survival. It is a celebration of difference, a chronicle of hope, and a powerful testament to what love and determination can build when the world says "impossible."
Keywords:
Parenting memoir; Special needs parenting; Raising children with disabilities; Military family life; Family resilience; Inspirational family story; Faith-based memoir; Coping with medical challenges; Sibling support stories; Gifted children; Spina bifida; CHARGE Syndrome; Hydrocephalus; Congenital disabilities; Complex medical needs; Pediatric neurosurgery; IEP and special education; Gifted education; Educational advocacy; Inclusive education; Hope and healing; Courage and strength; Love and perseverance; Raising different children; Disability acceptance; Parenting through adversity; Overcoming barriers; Finding joy in hardship; Special needs journey; Family unity and support; For parents of disabled children; For parents of gifted children; For educators and therapists; Christian parenting memoir; For families facing rare diagnoses; Real-life parenting stories; Memoirs about raising children; Stories of medical miracles
For more posts about Elizabeth and her books, click HERE.
Read more stories -- and photos -- about the Mahlou family in the blog (no longer maintained), Clan of Mahlou.
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