MSI Press Blog

  Today's book excerpt comes from Widow: How to Survive (and Thrive!) in Your 2nd, 3rd, and 4th Years  by Joanna Romer. Year Two Carving Out a Place for Yourself Nothing in my previous experience prepared me for being a widow, not my 40 years of job experience, ranging from Cosmopolitan Magazine to St. John’s University; not my 25 years of marriage to my beloved husband, Jack; not even my five years of worrying about Jack as he slowly become fatally ill. The widow experience is, as I’m sure you’ll agree, unprecedented. We can’t sugarcoat being a widow. After a year of widowhood, you’ve probably figured that out. It’s hard, it’s a struggle, it’s not something that goes away like the flu. And, unless you get married again, you’re going to be a widow from now on. Yet, believe it or not, you can get used to it. I feel pretty good about my widow status now, although it’s taken me awhile the reach that plateau---4 ½ years. The first year was a killer, wasn’t it? The depression...

  Grief is universal, but its expression is not. Across cultures, widowhood and widowerhood are lived through different expectations — shaped by gender norms, social scripts, and the invisible architecture of care. 💔 The Widow’s Burden: Expected Dependency In many societies, widows are expected to shrink — to live quietly, to withdraw, to embody loss. They are often seen as incomplete without their husbands, and cultural narratives reinforce that image: Social isolation: friends may drift away, unsure how to engage with a woman alone Financial vulnerability: systems often assume male breadwinners, leaving widows navigating bureaucracy and instability Moral scrutiny: judged for smiling too soon, dressing too brightly, or showing interest in life again The widow’s grief becomes a performance of restraint — a way to remain acceptable within her community. 🕊️ The Widower’s Burden: Expected Resilience Widowers, by contrast, are often expected to recover — to remarry, to “move on,” t...

  Excerpt from Widow: A Survival Guide for the First Year --  CHAPTER ONE Being Alone When I was in my mid-20s, I worked at Cosmopolitan Magazine as an Assistant Editor. My tenure there was short (barely a year), but because my editor liked me I was able to secure freelance assignments in later years. Writing for Cosmo , I learned that almost any problem can be remedied with concentrated self-nurturing and a few well thought-out lists. And so, throughout the years, I was able to handle two divorces, three marriages, many job changes and the untimely deaths of both my parents (although this last occurrence required the help of a very nice therapist). When Jack, my beloved husband of 16 years, died at the age of 71, I was devastated. There were days in those first months when I really didn’t see what I had to live for. Other times, I believed that I too would soon leave this earth, and so I scampered around trying to get my affairs in order. If you are a recent widow, y...

  Today's story behind the book is about Widow: A Survival Guide for the First Year  by Joanna Romer. From the publisher The late Joanna Romer was one of our first authors, and ultimately she wrote ten books that we published. A professor of journalism, she approached us in our early days with a manuscript for widows and how they could cope with widowhood. It was a subject she knew well, having recently become a widow. With her journalistic instincts, she had tracked down other widows, determined the commonalities, and provide a guide that many have now found helpful during their first year. The book is full of these personal stories that provide the bigger picture for the "map" that Joanna lays out for new widows. How Joanna found us in those early days, I do not remember, and she is not around now to ask. The relationship, however, was symbiotic. She produced books that people wanted to read, and we even, at one point, commissioned her to write one we felt was needed. T...

  Grief may be universal, but widowhood is not experienced the same way by men and women. The words widow and widower describe the same loss — the death of a spouse — yet they carry different social, financial, and emotional realities. Understanding those differences helps us see how gender roles shape life after loss, and how both widows and widowers navigate the long road of rebuilding. Financial Realities: Unequal Starting Points For many women, widowhood brings an abrupt financial reckoning. Even today, older women are more likely to have interrupted careers, smaller pensions, and less access to investment income. When a husband dies, the household’s primary income often disappears, leaving the widow to manage reduced Social Security benefits and rising medical or housing costs. Widowers, by contrast, are statistically more likely to have independent income or retirement savings. Yet they face their own financial strain — not from lack of funds, but from the sudden need to ma...