MSI Press Blog

  Excerpt from  Divorced! Survival Techniques for Those over Forty   Fear   The most common fear for the newly divorced person is an unsettling feeling that you will never find anyone else—ever. The thought of being alone for the rest of your life brings a sort of panic to your chest; it’s hard to breathe, and your heart seems to race uncontrollably. You, who used to be so independent, are suddenly at the point of combing through all of your acquaintances trying to find someone—anyone—with whom you might spark a relationship. It’s odd because you weren’t like this before your marriage. My goodness, you were the gal (or guy) who could take it or leave it when it came to relationships; you had to be wooed, courted, played up to—but now look at you. Fear has made a basket case out of you: fear of being alone, fear of never having that special someone to share things with, make love with, and go places with. What can you do?      First, try and relax. Before you can start any kind of searc

The following guest post by Dr. Dennis Ortman, psychologist, former priest, and MSI Press author, will form the basis of a forthcoming book on coping with pandemic conditions, called The Pandemic and Hope . POST-PANDEMIC STR ESS DISORDER  By Dennis Ortman, Ph.D.     I have a fantasy. President Trump will eventually announce victory over the Coronavirus. He will declare, “We have won the war. We have shown our greatness as a nation in working together to defeat this invisible enemy.” He will then express gratitude to all the healthcare workers, who risked their lives, those who supported all the essential services, and the entire nation. He will also report remarkable progress on a vaccine and treatment. American ingenuity again triumphs. Hopefully, this day will come sooner than later.  However, while the war may be won on one front, another remains, the inner battle against fear. We cannot rest on our laurels. Many have aptly compared this epidemic

Tradition tells us that for the first time in recorded history, an enslaved people were able to walk away from slavery. As a Jew I am “commanded” to remember this day, and I do. I also feel strongly that it is something we all might wish to celebrate: NOT as a single event in history, but as an indictment of slavery as we join together to embrace a Universal Passover as our goal for humanity. It is not that “we” escaped the bondage of Pharaoh, once and forever, but that Pharaoh has come to enslave all of us throughout history, with many different names and forms, and we must seek to overthrow ALL Pharaohs, at all times – whatever form Pharaoh may have taken. For me, this has long been the essence of Passover. Yes, I remember that “We were slaves in the land of Egypt.” But I remember it not because the “poor Jews” were enslaved, but rather as an in-my-face reminder that slavery is wrong. It is always wrong. It is wrong if Jews are enslaved. It is wrong if Africans are enslaved

This excerpt from Julia Aziz's Lessons of Labor seems quite appropriate for the stresses we deal with during today's pandemic. Fear in any situation has a relative in fear in any other situation. in Facing Fear  Once I was ready to get out of the shower, the doula recommended that we leave for the hospital. She checked my cervix, reassuring me that I was far enough along in the process to warrant a move to the final birthing destination. Before gathering all my belongings, I had a crisis of faith. How would I ever manage the pain of labor while sitting in the car for 30 minutes? At home, I could walk outside and bend over with every contraction, impossible activities for the front seat of a car. I even started to debate just staying home (my doula was a homebirth midwife, after all). Then, reason, or rather my husband’s calm rationality, took over, and we decided to go with the plan already in place. Internally, I said to myself, “I can do this because I have to

    Excerpt from The Pandemic and Hope by Dr. Dennis Ortman -- PROLOGUE “There is no fear in love, for perfect love casts out fear.” I John 4:18 The Coronavirus has swept across the earth, not respecting national borders. It is truly a universal, global event. No social class is immune: the old and the young, the rich and the poor. The death toll rises each day. Its numbers are in the tens of thousands. Government leaders around the world are mobilizing their forces to fight this invisible enemy. COVID-19 has become a common enemy, surprisingly uniting countries with hostile relationships. Indeed, the media mantra rings true:”We are all in this together.” It appears to me that we are facing two invisible enemies: the Coronavirus and the fear virus. Both are equally pernicious and contagious in their own ways. The Coronavirus can kill the body. Fear can destroy our mental/emotional and spiritual wellbeing. It can lead to despair, and even suicide. We are witnessing today a worl

Something invisible has stopped the world in its tracks, humbling us, making us aware of our vulnerability. It is the Coronavirus. Despite our technological prowess, we are not the masters of the universe we imagined. Mother Nature still rules. As the world-wide epidemic sweeps across America, President Trump has declared war on this invisible enemy. He has mobilized the forces of scientists, healthcare workers, and business leaders to combat the virus. As a psychologist, I am among the ranks of the battle-ready. The front-line workers confront the enemy face-to-face in the patients they treat. They are the hospital service people, aides, technicians, nurses, doctors, and first responders. I admire their courage and salute them. They risk their lives daily, inadequately armed, and many have fallen in the fight. I am a back-line worker as a psychologist, fighting another invisible enemy, fear. Pandemic panic can be as contagious and pernicious as COVID-19. Living in Michigan, o

Alone with Ourselves  In therapy sessions, I have been asking my patients how they are coping with the confinement, loneliness, and fear. Regarding their quarantine, I ask if they experience it more as a prison or retreat. Almost all have told me that it feels mostly like a retreat. Perhaps my encouraging them to relax and observe themselves is paying some dividends. For example, one insight patient, commenting on the lock down, said, “If we allow fear to take over, we’re exchanging prisons and giving ourselves a life sentence.” However, as the quarantine drags on for weeks, I suspect they may change their tunes. Surprisingly, my most emotionally fragile patients struggle little with the virus fear. They do not sweat the big stuff, only the small stuff. For example, they may agonize for years about a rude comment. My patients also complain about so much closeness with restless, bickering kids and bored partners that, they say jokingly, it will eventually lead to the doorst

One of the most comforting and helpful resources we found when Carl was in the final days of hospice -- more helpful than what hospice workers could tell us and more than doctors did tell us -- was a little book, called Gone from My Sight: The Dying Experience by Barbara Karnes, RN. As Carl went through each predicted and predictable stage from being distant mentally, to not eating, and then to not drinking, this little book told us the range of expectations and what was happening to his body in preparation for death in relation to what he was and was not doing. The book description on Amazon is very accurate:  The biggest fear of watching someone die is fear of the unknown; not knowing what dying will be like or when death will actually occur. The booklet "Gone From My Sight" explains in a simple, gentle yet direct manner the process of dying from disease. Dying from disease is not like it is portrayed in the movies. Yet movies, not life, have become our role models. Death

  Breakthrough means breakdown first It has often been said that as humans we will do far more to avoid pain than we will to maximize pleasure. We realize that most people think that they want to find joy, happiness, or pleasure, but in truth most of our efforts are in the opposite direction. One look at evolution, however, will quickly demonstrate that it is through pain, failure, and breakdown that we get better, stronger, and smarter. What is it that we learn in these painfully tough moments or experiences? Let’s first dissect what happens in a total breakdown. What do we actually mean by breakdown? It is important to differentiate that we are not discussing something like a “nervous breakdown.”  That is something that should be handled by a medical professional, and neither this book nor this specific chapter are intended to solve these kinds of problems. That being said, please read what follows through this important filter.  Breakdowns are, in fact, epic. Breakdowns are t