How to Develop Self-Control in Children (guest post by Dr. Haim Omer)



Dr. Haim Omer, advocate of non-violent resistance and parenting expert, provides the following information about how to develop self-control in children. With everyone home these days, it seems like a good time to work on this -- and perhaps a necessary thing to do.

Many parents said this is the best tip they received on how to develop self-control. The meaning is that the parent does not have to react immediately when the child provokes them or makes demands. On the contrary, reacting later is usually much better. The reasons are many: reacting later allows the parent to weigh their response, allows the parent to cool down and not act under pressure, and conveys a special kind of strength.

It is not that you don't react immediately in some way. You do, but a central part of your reaction comes later. Of course you act immediately in order to protect your children. For instance, if there is violence between siblings, you step in between them! Some mothers say, "but then I'll get the blows!" Perhaps, but you're already protecting the one who is attacked and, in addition, the story is not yet over – you'll get back to that later, you'll "hit the iron when it is cold!". You can also say, "I don't accept that! I'll think what I'll do and get back to you later!" In this way you are not only gaining time. You're also creating a reminder, like a bookmark, so that when you come back later to deal with the problem, your child will remember what it is about.

Read the rest of the blog post HERE.

Dr. Omer is the author of Courageous Parents.

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