MSI Press Blog

  Noam Omer is the artist son of MSI Press author, Haim Omer. The following post was written by him for his own website/blog, and the link connects to some rather unique art. Check it out! Noam Omer: The World in Pencil s Artists paid a heavy price during the COVID12 lockdowns.  Those that wanted to survive had to adapt themselves, for instance, by going online.  Online shows, however, have different demands.  But they also offer new possibilities.  Those who know Noam Omer’s previous work wouldn’t think that pencils are an adequate medium for his expression.   His works are usually characterized by a glaring presence, the figures seem about to jump at the observer or break away from their frame. Maybe a good way to understand Noam’s choice of color pencils as the major technique he used throughout the year (2020) is to think about the difference between symphonic and chamber music.  In chamber music, the artist speaks quietly to a small group of persons in a room, or even to himself.

In a  current and a coming post, Dr. Haim Omer describes an adaptation of the new authority to kindergartens .  (The new authority is the core of his book, Courageous Parents.) This is part of a series about the new authority and anchoring function in early childhood -- how to resolve the most difficult problems that parents encounter with their children.  Read more about Dr. Omer and his book, Courageous Parents, HERE .

  Dr. Omer, togetherw with  Els Vandingenen (info@mamacoach.be) has written a two-post series that any parent can relate to -- and gives some help for those times when you feel like you are at the end of your rope. (There is more rope!). Here is an excerpt from the first of the two posts: T he mother tells of conflicting thoughts that don’t give her pause, such as: “Your children really need you!” “Your son will be traumatized if you are not there for him!” “Don’t be like your parents!” “If you start being like them, in the end you’ll be like your grandma!” “Why are other mothers able to fulfill their role smoothly and caringly?” “You are to blame for your child’s anxiety! You never gave him the basic trust that he needs to feel safe!” Or on a different vein altogether: “Why is being a mom so much like a straightjacket?” “Where has my whole life gone?” “How did I get here?” “How come I am completely effaced?” In our next post I’ll describe how the mother and her coach looked for a way

  The 6th International Conference on Non-Violent Resistance (NVR) and the New Authority will take place in a virtual format, so that attendees can participate from home!  The conference's physical location is Linz (Austria), and the title is:  From fear, to trust, to cooperation.   Here is the link to the conference:  http://www.nvr2020.com/ . Anyone may attend who so desires. Dr. Omer, psychologist, author, parent, and NVR expert, will give the opening lecture on the subject of: The evidence base of NVR. Dr. Omer is author of Courageous Parents . To read posts by and about him, along with information about and excerpts from his book, click HERE .

From "Children's Fears" --  Their bed, room, ears, body, time and leisure are not their own, but are often invaded by the child’s anxious reactions. A series of studies by Eli Lebowitz on our approach to parents of anxious children showed that when parents learn to restore and protect their personal boundaries, the child’s anxiety and distress diminish significantly. And what is not less important: The parents’ distress diminishes as well! We all know that when the baby is born, the mother’s availability is virtually unlimited. Probably many babies “would like” to perpetuate this situation. Thus they protest loudly when the mother becomes gradually less available. Fortunately, mothers have needs of their own, reducing their readiness to service the baby unlimitedly. The renowned psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott coined the expression “good enough mother” to stress that mothers do not need to be perfect. On the contrary! If they were perfectly attuned and always sensitive to

  The need for a personal space for parents of young children by Dr. Haim Omer A friend of mine, who had given birth to twins a couple of years after having her first child, told me of an interesting decision made by her therapist. The psychologist thought my friend was deeply exhausted and she became worried by the fact that the young mother could not find any protected space for herself, although the twins were already two years old. When my friend would arrive to her therapy session, the therapist would have her sit for an hour in an armchair in her garden, before starting the actual meeting. My friend told me that this had taught her a vital lesson: That if she could not find a safe space for herself, she would not be able to give her children the stable mother they needed to grow up well. Read the rest of this post HERE . For blog posts by and about Dr. Omar and his book, click HERE .

                          Dr. Haim Omer Author of 12 books and morethan 100 articles translatedinto 12 languages, Haim Omer created the “New Authority Approach” to parenting. Born in Brazil to survivors of the Holocaust, he has lived in Israel since 1967. He is a professor at Tel-Aviv University. He is author of  Courageous Parents, which is been reviewed with high favorability. For more posts by and about Omer and his book, check HERE .

Congratulation to Haim Omer for a very nice review of Courageous Parents by US Review of Books. According to the reviewer, " This is an extremely well-written book, offering advice that is clear, easy to understand, and well-attuned to the everyday realities of parenting. Omer provides practical suggestions on an impressive breadth of issues." Read the whole review HERE . Read more posts by and about Haim and his book HERE .

A nice review of Courageous Parents by Dr. Haim Omer was posted recently by Readers Favorite . "These suggestions can be used by counselors, therapists, psychologists, parents, and educators when tackling issues between parents and children in a mature and peaceful way." To read the full review, click HERE .  The Readers' Favorite book critique rated Courageous Parents a 5 (top level) on all elements: appearance, plot, development, formatting, marketability, and overall opinion. Click HERE for the details. To read more posts by and about Haim and his book, click HERE .

Excerpt from Courageous Parenting : Rules, Routine and Structure In a household characterized by a lack of rules, binding routine, or clear assignation of responsibilities, stopping deterioration in the parent-child relationship is very difficult. Parents and children alike find nothing to hold on to. How do you start creating order and structure when you are used to everything being vague and fluid? Many parents who followed our program were surprised to discover that order is a process that expands and spreads the moment you create a clear core that allows it to grow. It is like the formation of crystals in a liquid solution; sometimes, it suffices to introduce an initial crystallizing element for the liquid matter to start arranging itself, attaching, and forming a structure. Sometimes, the initial spark that sets the whole process in motion is the parents drawing a red line concerning one unacceptable behavior. The parents decide and announce the unacceptable behavior they

Dr. Haim Omer, advocate of non-violent resistance and parenting expert, provides the following information about how to develop self-control in children. With everyone home these days, it seems like a good time to work on this -- and perhaps a necessary thing to do. Many parents said this is the best tip they received on how to develop self-control. The meaning is that the parent does not have to react immediately when the child provokes them or makes demands. On the contrary, reacting later is usually much better. The reasons are many: reacting later allows the parent to weigh their response, allows the parent to cool down and not act under pressure, and conveys a special kind of strength. It is not that you don't react immediately in some way. You do, but a central part of your reaction comes later. Of course you act immediately in order to protect your children. For instance, if there is violence between siblings, you step in between them! Some mothers say, "but

Dr. Haim Omer's  post on effective parenting in times of Corona has been translated into many languages (English, French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese).  It will soon appear in German and Dutch.  You can find them easily in www.haimomer-nvr.com Probably the reason for this broad interest is that it describes in a simple and direct manner a very general principle (The Continuity Principle) for coping successfully at times of crisis, trauma and disaster, and translating the principle into clear tips for parents.

When I consider the massive positive response to our approach (NVR or The New Authority) throughout the world, I can attribute this to the fact that we probably succeeded in addressing what is perhaps the most pressing challenge facing parents today. Read the rest of the post HERE . Dr. Omer is author of Courageous Parents .

The continuity principle: How parents, teachers and social leaders can help children in times of Corona This post was written together with Dr. Rina Omer The continuity principle is a unified concept for coping with disaster and trauma formulated at the time of the First Golf War. Based on a review of the literature (Omer, 1991) the principle of continuity stipulated that "during crisis and disaster , one should aim at preserving and restoring functional, interpersonal and personal continuities, at the individual, family, organization and community levels." Functional continuity is the ability to go on functioning in spite of disturbances. Interpersonal continuity refers to the maintenance of contacts with family, friends, colleagues and any other circles to which one belongs. Personal continuity refers to feelings of sameness and coherence in our sense of self. For instance: for a 10-year old boy, functional continuity will comprise routines such getting-u

Most children are naturally possessive and territorial. Shouts of "Don't touch my things!" "It's my money!" "Get out of my room!" are part of the daily soundtrack in many families. As the child grows, he has to learn that there are acceptable and unacceptable ways of clinging to what's his own. For instance, he has to learn that others also have a right to their property. He has to learn how to share. And he has to learn not to use his things in damaging ways. Many parents come to us because their children (whatever their age – the oldest "child" whose parents we treated was 62!) abuse their computer, their room and their money. Read the rest of the post HERE . Dr. Omer is the author of Courageous Parents .

Along the years I've received requests for help from parents of children from the age of 3 to 62! Actually, in the case of the 62-year old "child", not the parents, but his sisters came for help, asking how they could protect their old and frail parents from blackmail, exploitation and abuse. Read the rest of the post HERE . Haim Omer is author of Courageous Parents .

One year after his divorce, Maurice started noticing changes in the behavior of his son, Gabriel (17). When he slept over at his father’s, Gabriel would often absent himself for hours or come back very late without notifying his father. Maurice felt this was the result of a weakening in his parental function, a process that had been aggravated by the stress of the divorce and his fear of losing his son's affection. Maurice decided that he had to change his attitude, if he wanted to keep Gabriel from getting into trouble. When Gabriel next returned at two o’clock at night, he found his father waiting for him in the hall. Maurice said: “Tomorrow we'll have a talk about the rules regarding your outings.” Gabriel began raising his voice in protest, but Maurice told him: “I don’t want to talk now, because both you and I are not in condition to have a good conversation. We'll talk tomorrow when I come back from work.” In the morning, Maurice called Gabriel from his work place