Daily Excerpt: Staying Safe While Sheltering in Place (Schnuelle, Adams & Henderson) - Introduction
Excerpt from Staying Safe While Sheltering in Place (Schnuelle, Adams, & Henderson)
Introduction (by Hendereson)
My eyes blinked open suddenly and I was immediately filled
with dread, even terror! Now wide awake and worried, I envisioned a
stay-at-home order being issued when I was a child. How would I have survived?
I was immediately filled with fear as I imagined what it might have been like
to be unable to escape the abuses of my father.
Of course, my next thought was for all the children, women,
girlfriends, or anyone else who might now be stuck at home with a person who is
dangerous, someone who instills fear in their victims day and night. What is
happening to these children? What is happening to whole families who are in
lock-down with someone who can, has, and probably will hurt them, possibly
fatally?
I started talking to people, starting with my sisters. The
thought of it was so awful they couldn’t really discuss it, but one of them,
who has worked for years in Social Services, told me that caseworkers and
family support providers were helping children who had been removed connect
with their parents remotely. I also heard an interview on NPR, National Public
Radio, telling listeners that, for safety’s sake, caseworkers were still going
into homes, taking as many health precautions as they could. Since then, I have
begun to hear about more outreach programs, because it’s obvious that the need
for family support during this time is critical.
The question that immediately follows must be, “How can
severely abused spouses and children find the help they need?” Sometimes even
making a phone call is dangerous. On one podcast, I heard that volunteers were
staffing tables in supermarkets, bank lobbies (where available), and gas
stations where people can get help as they run essential errands. That is not
something that is widely available, however. The professionals contributing to
this little volume have practical ideas of ways to be safe.
Boots pharmacies in the UK are offering safe spaces for
domestic violence victims (BBC 5/01/2020). The BBC also reports that there has
been a surge in violence since the lockdown began. Calls to the National
Domestic Abuse hotline rose by 49% and killings have doubled since restrictions
on public life were introduced (5/01/2020). When the lockdown was first
implemented however, hotline calls rose 65% (BBC 3/03/2020).
In the States, in Vinton County, Ohio, things were already in crisis mode. This county has the lowest population in Ohio with the highest incidence of drug addiction, and this has already had a devastating impact on children. “Now, with social distancing measures in place in Vinton County and schools and churches closed, teachers and clergy, those who are the likeliest to come in contact with abused children, aren’t, so they can’t report cases of abuse.” Kimes-Brown, a lawyer in Vinton, says that she suspects that is what is behind recent reductions in child abuse reports nationwide. “We’ve lost all those connections with our kids,” she says (NPR, 4/29/2020). But the reduction in child abuse reporting is not true everywhere. Neighbors, friends, mail carriers, anyone who hears anything, who knows anything, who suspects anything is being encouraged to report what they see or hear. Kimes-Brown continues, “I don’t think people realize how much information one report can provide,” she says. “There are so many cases that I could say have been decided or made because an eyewitness came across the tiniest bit of information and reported it” (NPR). All of the normal places where people would go to get help, AA, NA, churches, and face-to-face therapy, have not been available. For obvious reasons, telehealth therapy is hardly helpful and certainly not confidential in these situations.
I think most are aware that women face abuse and murder
everywhere, but the statistics in Mexico are always shocking. Even so, there
has been a rise in those cases. The current report from February to April is
that 1000 women have been murdered (The Independent, April 28, 2020). No more
about the statistics needs to be laid out here. Suffice it to say, being home
alone with abusers, with children who need supervision, without money, without
a job, and getting low on food, has created a perfect storm where preexisting,
frightening situations are escalating.
You do not need to know more about what keeps me awake. You
are reading this little volume because it promises help and solutions. There
are ways you can reach out for help and ways to create some safety. Two
therapists, Shari Schnuelle and Melissa Adams, were asked to contribute their expertise
and provide help. Ms. Schnuelle’s area of work, training, and experience is in
trauma. She explains how this time of the virus has triggered people and raised
anxiety levels. Then she gives practical steps for dealing with it. Ms. Adam’s
chapter is focused on her area of expertise, domestic abuse. She provides a
scenario that is probably common to couples under the current stress of the
stay-at-home orders. Then, of course, she provides ways to try to de-escalate
tension, anger, and even danger, and keep the family safe.
I am fortunate. I live alone with my little service animal.
We are safe and content. I cannot do much at this time to help, but I can
create a vehicle for help to get to you. My hope is that as you read, you’ll be
encouraged, helped, and given some hope. Stay strong!
For other posts by Schnuelle et al. and this book, click HERE.
For other posts by and about Henderson and her works, click HERE.
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