Daily Excerpt: Understanding the Challenge of "No" for Children with Autism (McNeil) - When No Means Yes

 



Excerpt from Understanding the Challenge of "No" for Children with Autism (McNeil) -

Chapter 3

When No Means Yes

 

Augustus

One Summer Day in a Class for Elementary School Students with Autism

Story originally printed in Autism Parenting Magazine, June, 2017

 

 “Good work, Josiah. You are all done! Let’s check your schedule.” Josiah smiles brightly and hurries to his schedule, knowing swimming is next.

As he and Miss Leaky walk through the quietly bustling classroom, a small voice calls out, “Miss Leaky, swimming?” 

“Yes, Augustus, first work then swimming. Hurry up and finish your work.” 

Augustus smiles and continues working. Miss Leaky and Josiah walk outside and across the courtyard to the restroom. 

Returning, the pair is met with a commotion of loud crying, pounding noises, and the sight of Augustus lying on his back kicking his feet. 

Miss Leaky inquires, “What happened?”

Miss Ellie shares, “Augustus is mad because he was not allowed to go with Miss Alan to get ready for swimming.” 

Anxiously, Augustus cries out, “Miss Leaky, swimming?”

“Yes, Augustus, first work, then swimming.” 

Augustus shoots to his feet and returns to his tasks, only two more easy folders to go. 

“Miss Ellie, swimming?” Augustus solicits.

“Finish your work, then swimming,” replies Miss Ellie. 

Augustus grins and increasing his pace, rushes to finish. Seeing Jean and Miss Alan walk through the door, Augustus implores, “Miss Alan, swimming?”

“No Augustus, no swimming until you finish your work!”

Instantly, the room is filled with an ear-piercing shriek, a chaotic flurry of materials flying through the air and Augustus dropping to the floor, wailing. Miss Leaky approaches. Augustus pauses his frenzy, pleading, “Miss Leaky, swimming?”

“Yes Augustus, first work, then swimming,” answers Miss Leaky. 

Augustus weepily gathers his materials and steels himself to begin working.  Tentatively, he questions, “Miss Leaky, swimming?”

Miss Leaky reassures, “Yes Augustus, good working. First work, then swimming.” 

Appeased, Augustus begins to complete his last few items when Miss Alan again returns from the restroom with students ready for the pool.  

Augustus apprehensively voices his persistent question, “Miss Alan, swimming?” 

“No Augustus, no swimming. You can’t swim until you do your work!” 

With rapid-fire motions papers are flung, the tipped desk slams to the floor and Augustus is again flat on his back, kicking and screaming. 

Miss Leaky stands nearby and Augustus screams, “SWIMMING! MISS LEAKY, SWIMMING!” 

Miss Leaky waits for that moment of silence that occurs as Augustus takes a breath, then clearly delivers a simple, “YES!” 

Augustus curiously ceases his howling. Breathing heavily, he looks hesitantly at Miss Leaky then tearfully, frightfully probes, “Swimming?” 

Miss Leaky’s answer is slow and deliberate, “Yes Augustus, first work, then swimming.” 

Miss Leaky assists Augustus in reorganizing his materials, and remaining close, encourages him to finish his last folder. 

Once again, Augustus anxiously asks, “Miss Alan, swimming?”

“No.”

Augustus flinches.

Miss Leaky interjects, “YES SWIMMING!” 

Stunned with conflicted emotion, Augustus stands wide eyed, pupils darting between Miss Alan and Miss Leaky. 

Locking his gaze with hers, Miss Leaky thoughtfully enunciates her consistent retort, “YES, SWIMMING, first work, then swimming.” 

Miss Leaky assists Augustus to place the last two items in his folder and enthusiastically declares, “Finished! Time for swimming!”

Augustus hurries to join his classmates walking to the pool, smiles broadly, and exclaims, “SWIMMING!”

 

 

Breaking it Down

 

Communication

In countless social conversations, when responding to questions and requests from children such as Augustus’, “May I go swimming?” many adults would start their answer with a gentle, “No,” then add, “Not right now. You will go after you are done working.” For a typically developing child with competent social skills and communication abilities, this is a perfectly nice answer. The child comprehends the message, I may go swimming after I finish my task. This understanding will inspire the child to focus and quickly complete the assignment. 

For many children, the communication difficulties caused by autism block their ability to understand the full content of a message of such length and complexity.  Children with autism are often only able to process the first and/or last words in lengthy verbalizations. Further, structuring the information to identify what is not going to happen requires an interpretation of this information into its reciprocal of what is going happen. The lack of any further information leaves the child to make a guess as to the correct meaning and expected response. This translation process delivers many potential inaccurate outcomes.

In the story of Augustus, our protagonist struggles in processing the entire indirect message stated in the negative, “No Augustus, no swimming. You can’t swim until you do your work!” Many mainstream practitioners and trainers in autism teach that, with training, the use of short phrases and repetitive scripted sentences can build meaning for students with autism. The specifically taught short phrases are learned as language chunks that the child can process as if they were single, multisyllabic words. “I want,” “Sit down,” and, “Check your schedule,” are examples of short phrases that children in autism-focused classrooms become adept at understanding fluidly. Phrases such as, “First, then,” and, “Do this,” become predictable cues for the children, helping them to identify that they are expected to mentally attend to the following information.

Augustus was doing fine as long as Miss Leaky used regularly scripted language and few words, stating, “Yes, first work, then swimming.” He also managed well with Miss Ellie’s response, which was less scripted but was still stated in a positive phrase and followed the same progression, “Finish your work, then swimming.” When Miss Alan approached the question answering in a mainstream manner, “No Augustus, no swimming until you finish your work,” a communication gap occurred. In this diction, Augustus likely only heard and understood the words, “No,” and, “Work.” He then became upset and expressed negative behaviors because he understood the message to say, “No, you will not go to the pool. You will stay in class and do work.” The intent of the message is really, “Yes, after work.” Stating the answer in a “Yes, first/then” format, as Miss Leaky does, provides Augustus the support he needs. This statement is a direct answer that uses predictable scripted phrasing, few words, and doesn’t need to be interpreted from the negative statement to a positive connotation. 

Numerous autism researchers and practitioners hail the importance of using visual supports with students such as schedules, task lists, first/then cards, picture based expressive communication, and more. Miss Leaky’s message, “Yes, first work then swimming,” is clear, concise, familiar to Augustus, and can be reinforced easily with visual supports. A visual support may be as simple as a gesture towards one item and then another while speaking. Miss Leaky could have been gesturing to Augustus’ work materials and swimsuit while stating, “First work, then swimming.” Other visual supports that assist communication are more concrete such as representative objects, pictures or written words. The benefit of using objects, pictures and written words is that they are constant. Spoken words are fleeting and are gone as soon as they are emitted. In the story, Miss Leaky could show Augustus pictures of work and the pool while providing her answer. Augustus could visually attend to these pictures for reassurance that he understood the answer to his question. Further, he could independently reference these pictures to remind himself that he will go swimming when he finishes his work. 

 

Supplementary Influences

All habits are the result of our previous conditioning—things we learned to do,

and then practiced them until they became what seem like a natural way to behave.

Dr. Shad Helmstetter

 

Over the years Augustus has ingrained behaviors to convey his negative emotional state. He has developed a habit of expressing an adverse reaction that instantly fills him with fight or flight anxiety in response to the word, “No.” Relationship researcher John Gottman’s findings explain that when people are feeling strong negative emotions, fight or flight responses hijack the physiology of a person and flood them with hormones, visceral reactions and emotions that overwhelm their ability to accurately receive, process and interpret information. Therefore, upon hearing Miss Alan’s, “No,” Augustus experiences an emotional response that automatically sends him into a state of physiological dysregulation and prohibits his ability to take in the entire verbal message.  Augustus expresses his distress in tantrum behavior.

 

When people are flooded they can’t listen, even though they might wish to.

It’s not anyone’s fault that they can’t listen when flooded;

it’s a natural fight-or-flight response, though operating a bit out of context.

John Gottman

 

In the story, Augustus begins by dropping to the ground, kicking and screaming, to show his disagreement. As he becomes more emotionally compromised and confused by the different answers he is receiving, he escalates his behaviors to throwing materials then tipping over his desk. 

These behaviors may have worked for him in the past to change the adult’s response, thereby resulting in the desired answer Augustus is seeking, “Yes, let’s go swimming now. I don’t want you to be upset.” On the other hand, the tantrums may have resulted in adult directed reprimands and punishment for his dangerous behavior. A reprimand that includes a punishment, “Tantrums don’t earn you swimming. Bad boys must stay back in class,” would further reinforce the negative association between the word, “No,” and anxiety, thereby fortifying Augustus’ habitually explosive response. 

 

We will usually give up behaviors that don’t work if we are capable of better ones.

William Glasser

 

Fortunately, in the case of Augustus, Miss Leaky identified the issue and took charge of the communication repair by interjecting her message, “YES, SWIMMING, first work, then swimming.” Instead of punishing the behavioral outburst or even acknowledging it, Miss Leaky remained steadfast in her communication. Further, Miss Leaky did not allow Augustus’ behavioral episodes to get him to the pool without finishing his work. While she chose to assist him in the end, Miss Leaky was firm in her resolve that he complete one activity before earning the other. Persisting with the request will habituate Augustus to realizing that the expectations Miss Leaky expresses will be constant, and his engaging in tantrum behavior will not work to hasten the delivery of his longings. Therefore, this habit of behavioral outbursts will decrease over time, as it will no longer work to satisfy Augustus’ desires.

 

Relationship Dynamics

The degree of social cohesion that you feel with other people

is the greatest predictor of success during a time of challenge and stress.

One Day University


Miss Leaky’s actions served to provide Augustus a fulfillment of his communicative and psychological needs. Miss Leaky utilized a communication style with which Augustus is accustomed. She spoke in a short, pre-trained phrase he could process.  She further focused her interaction with him to the issues of work and swimming. By doing so, she did not allow his tantrum to change the topic to his, “bad behavior,” or to the accuracy of his work. Miss Leaky also supported Augustus’ emotional state by encouraging his work, genially responding to his repeated questioning, and breaking-in when she realized Miss Alan’s message was causing him distress. These components assist in developing attunement and trust between Augustus and Miss Leaky. As this is not the first time Miss Leaky and Augustus have engaged in interactions developing attunement, Augustus feels a sense of social cohesion that allows him to seek her out for reassurance. Since Augustus trusts Miss Leaky, he is able to recover from his tantrums relatively quickly and become amenable to her requests to finish his work. 


KOPS-FETHERLING INTERNATIONAL BOOK AWARD
LEGACY AWARD IN EDUCTION

READERS VIEWS LITERARY AWARD
SILVER AWARD
ADULT CLASSICAL NONFICTION


For more posts about McNeil and her books, including more excerpts, click HERE.

For more book excerpts, click HERE.



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