Smile. Guest post by Dr. Dennis Ortman
SMILE
An old friend recently died. I met Jean and her husband 60
years ago at our parish. I was a young seminarian, and they were active
parishioners. We often prayed together at church and in their home. The depth
of their faith inspired me. They nurtured my vocation. Last week, Jean died at
the ripe old age of 102.
Regrettably, I had lost contact with Jean and her husband
for many years. During that time, her husband, three of her children, and many
family and friends had passed away. When I reconnected with Jean two years ago,
she was bedridden with severe dementia. Each of our visits followed a ritual.
She asked, “Who are you?” I told her my name. She then enquired, “Why are you
here?” “To visit you,” I responded. “Why do you want to visit me?” she asked.
“Because you are a beautiful person, and I love you,” I said. Then, she smiled.
With every visit, I looked forward to that smile. She never failed me. Even in
our last visit a month before she died, she could not speak or engage in our
ritual. But she smiled. And the room lit up.
Her smile captivated me and revealed so much about her. Even
in the haze of her dementia, barely able to speak, her personality shone
through with that smile. The wonderful person I knew and loved was still there.
Her faith that inspired me so many years before was still evident.
Our face tells a story that our words cannot express. People
say the eyes are the window to the soul. But I believe the face better
expresses the truth of who we are. We earn our faces by how we live. All the
worries, sadness, and resentments are etched there. Laugh lines and frequent
frowns cannot be erased. A simple look loudly shouts our honest delight or disappointment
of the moment. The face cannot lie.
In Jean’s face, I saw the presence of God as she was
preparing to die. The Bible tells us we cannot look directly at the face of God
and live. However, we see His face in those who believe in Him. After all, are
not we made in the image and likeness of God? Jean asked her daughter who cared
for her, “Why am I still alive?” The only answer could be that God had some use
for her. In my case, it was to inspire my faith with her smile.
I firmly believe that joy, not guilt-ridden misery, is the
infallible sign of God’s presence. If we draw strength from a hidden Source, we
can smile our way through life’s inevitable sorrows. I told her daughter, “Jean
smiled her way to heaven.” I stand corrected. Her smile indicated that she
already experienced the joys of heaven, of God’s love in her life.
I imagine Jesus laughed and smiled his way through life,
inspiring a light-hearted joy in his disciples. He lived in the constant
presence of his loving Father. Jesus even smiled his way to the cross, despite
the agony. He died spreading peace, forgiving his persecutors and surrendering
his life into his Father’s hands. He brought his mother and beloved disciple
together and welcomed the good thief to paradise.
A smile is the universal language of peace and joy. Thich
Nhat Hahn, the renowned Vietnamese peacemaking monk, recommended that we simply
breathe and smile: “Breathing in, I calm my body and mind. Breathing out, I
smile. Dwelling in the present moment, I know this is a wonderful moment.”
Thank you, Jean, for your smile that lasts more than a
lifetime.
For more posts about Dennis and his books, click HERE.
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