Daily Excerpt: Heart to Heart Resuscitation: My Journal (Montgomery) - Pathway 2
Excerpt from Heart to Heart Resuscitation: My Journal by Victor Montgomery III --
Second Pathway
Another warrior came to
a group meeting and said: "I always prided myself on my hardheadedness:
survival of the fittest. The fact is I wasn’t superstitious or religious. I
thought God as a higher power and spiritual things meant religion and that
meant weird mystical thinking. I was too smart to believe in a power greater
than me. What I started to realize was that if I was the greatest power in my
life, I was in deep, deep trouble” − Mark, Iraqi war veteran.
We came to believe that
a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. And those other
veterans in the local community, who are struggling with the consequences of
combat-related experiences, can come together with us and influence each other
in a magnificent, life changing way.
To survive this new
battle, we seek meaning in having survived. We want to believe we have survived
for a purpose. We would like to be free from distressing thoughts
telling us we should never have left the battlefield alive—the place where our
buddies gave their lives in war. We want to believe our lives will serve a
better and higher purpose if we are alive rather than dead.
A warrior trying hard to
understand his higher power said: “I have always known. My earliest memories
were of looking at the world and knowing it wasn't an accident. The thoughts
were too adult for a child to have, I have been told, but they are there,
nonetheless. What has reinforced it is not a single event but constant
protection and teaching. I can count on both hands the many times where I
should by all reasoning be dead, but I survived all of them. I was led to learn
many things by this inner compass. It always feels wrong to call it that, but
it is as close as I can get, for now. “
Another reason for
coming together here in group is that veterans who do so come to realize that
they are not alone in their experiences of nightmares, flashbacks, substance
abuse, anger, rage, depression, prolonged deployments, and hyper vigilance,
etc. Sharing in peer-based veteran care groups with a veteran counselor leader
who has actually “walked in their boots”
reduces their prior innermost need to isolate.
The second path is also
a spiritual journey. This is the beginning of a new life for you. It is
the basis for the problem. It is not only that the H2HR program has spiritual
practicalities but also that the very foundation and success of our peer-based
program is to introduce you to a renewed lifestyle that is spiritual in nature.
This does not mean you have to adhere to a particular religion or practice a
certain belief.
It's all about taking a
step forward with real humility; your work on yourself needs to come from the
heart. You need humility here. You are not God, and you cannot do what only He
can do. He will cure you if you open your heart to His grace.
Following any personal
trauma incident or series of events, particularly military trauma, we often
face serious doubts and denial of the existence of a God or any such entity and
the value of the world outside ourselves. After that last well deserved
“Welcome Home,” some veterans continue to “live in two worlds:” the battlefield
they left behind and the one they left 12-15 months before and are trying to
reenter. Juggling the combined life stressors coming from both, we doubt all
our prior beliefs particularly those of any "higher power" and are
often numb to our own spirituality and connectedness to the world at large and
to those around us.
So pain is a way of
warning. By completing these H2HR Pathways, veterans begin to realize
that emotional pain was caused by them wanting people, places and things to be
different than they really were or are going to be. In many instances, it is a
negative, confused, and helpless reaction that is the problem. Most vets
who come and begin to work the H2HR program had tried to run away from their
pain, repressing it or overreacting—never any middle ground. So, they become
stuck and helpless and frustrated, and finally hopelessness begins to take over
their mind, body, and soul. Let us offer you a helping hand—one buddy to
another. Answer the following questions, talk to your counselor, and then get
started and begin to realize there is a new life waiting for you out there.
Come in. We care!
Think about the following questions:
• What have been your previous experiences with religion and God as you understand Him?
• Recall
some of your best friends from childhood or adolescence. Describe what you
liked best about them and what they liked best about you? Do you think that
these qualities have any relationship to a Higher Power? Explain.
• Describe events, situations, or people who have helped you to understand what a "Higher Power" or God is all about.
• Describe any dreams that you have had about a "Higher Power" or God, and what they mean to you.
• What have been your previous experiences with religion? How do think that this does or does not relate to your experience with God as you understand God?
Goal
Setting
Revisit your goal for
the First Pathway. How are you progressing toward meeting your
goal? Do you need to revise it?
Now that you have completed the Second Pathway, write down a goal that you would like to achieve. What would you like to see happen now?
What would you need to do to make your goal a reality? Write down the specific steps you would need to take.
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