Cancer Diary: When a Business Partner is Also Your Dying Spouse
Small businesses are often co-owned by spouses. The partnership blends life and work, weaving together shared goals, hopes, and sacrifices. But what happens when one of those partners becomes terminally ill—and not gradually, but suddenly, with a diagnosis that leaves little time to prepare?
That was the reality I faced when Carl, my husband of over 51 years, was diagnosed with multiple late-stage cancers. His health declined rapidly, and he pushed hard to close our business—something we had built together—because he could no longer do the work he had always managed.
On the surface, his wish was simple: “I’m dying, and I want everything to stop with me.” But for those left behind, nothing stops. Life keeps demanding care, attention, and difficult decisions. I was caring not only for Carl, but also for our disabled son and a daughter who needed support. And the business—our livelihood—still needed running.
Carl saw one piece of the picture: his need for full-time care and attention. But the whole picture included legal, financial, emotional, and practical challenges that I could not ignore.
The Financial Reality
The business brought in income we still relied on. But with Carl unable to work, we had to outsource some of his responsibilities. That, too, had a cost—one more factor in the difficult balance between honoring his wishes and keeping us all afloat.
The Time Crunch
Closing a business is not quick or simple. There are legal forms, client obligations, paperwork, and systems to dismantle. In the middle of a pandemic, with no outside help and full-time caregiving on my plate, there simply wasn’t the time or bandwidth to do it all.
The Emotional Toll
Perhaps the hardest part was the emotional unraveling. Carl, who had hardly been sick a day in his life, suddenly needed constant care—and deeply resented every minute I wasn’t by his side. I resented the impossible expectations. At one point, sleep deprivation left me so drained that I fell asleep behind the wheel. Thankfully, no one was hurt—but it forced a boundary: I could no longer sacrifice everything, including my own safety, for a situation none of us had chosen.
One of the most difficult, yet admirable, things Carl did in those final months was help me hire and train someone to take over his role. I know what that must have cost him, emotionally. But it was necessary. In those last days, there were still moments of grace—like when loyal customers stepped in to help ease the burden.
Still, it wasn’t easy. The tension around the business cast a long shadow over the final months of our marriage. Fifty-one years were good. The last six months were hard—filled with conflict, exhaustion, and grief. I hold onto the good, but I won’t pretend the end didn’t change things.
A Word of Advice
If you’re starting a business with a spouse or partner, I urge you—build a contingency plan early. Define what should happen if one of you can no longer continue. Decide in advance how decisions will be made, who has authority, and how the business should transition or close if tragedy strikes. You won’t regret having that clarity when you most need it.
Because when illness comes suddenly, it doesn’t just affect the person diagnosed—it turns the whole world upside down for everyone involved. Planning doesn’t take away the pain, but it can ease the pressure on those left standing when everything else begins to fall.
Read more Cancer Diary posts HERE.
Blog editor's note: As a memorial to Carl, and simply because it is truly needed, MSI Press is now hosting a web page, Carl's Cancer Compendium, as a one-stop starting point for all things cancer, to make it easier for those with cancer to find answers to questions that can otherwise take hours to track down on the Internet and/or from professionals. The web page is in its infancy but expected to expand into robustness. To that end, it is expanded and updated weekly. As part of this effort, each week, on Monday, this blog will carry an informative, cancer-related story -- and be open to guest posts: Cancer Diary.
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