Cancer Diary: Dangerous Denial

 

Denial is a normal first reaction to life‑threatening news. Kübler‑Ross described it as a shock absorber — the mind’s way of letting in the truth one teaspoon at a time. Most of us eventually move from “this can’t be happening” to “okay, what now.”

What I’m watching in my own neighborhood, though, goes far beyond that early protective fog. It’s denial hardened into a lifestyle, and it’s frightening.

Two of my neighbors — I’ll call them Cheryl and Maria — have both been diagnosed with early‑stage, treatable cancers. The kind where modern medicine has a strong track record. The kind where early action matters. The kind where “I feel fine” is not a reliable compass.

And yet both have stopped going to their doctors.

Cheryl was diagnosed with early leukemia. She tells me she feels perfectly normal, so she’s not worried. Maria was diagnosed with early cervical cancer. Same story: she feels fine, so she’s not going back. They’ve both returned to their routines as if nothing has changed. They reassure each other that feeling good means being safe.

I watch them and feel a knot in my stomach.

Because feeling fine is not the same as being fine.
Because early‑stage cancers often don’t announce themselves with pain or drama.
Because ignoring something treatable can quietly turn it into something that isn’t.

What unsettles me most is how they reinforce each other’s denial. It’s like watching two people standing on thin ice, each insisting the other’s calmness means the ice is strong.

I’m not writing this to shame them. I’m writing it because denial can be deadly, not just metaphorically but literally. It’s human to be afraid of bad news. It’s human to want to cling to normal life. But refusing to follow up, refusing to even look — that’s not protection. That’s risk disguised as comfort.

If you or someone you love is facing a diagnosis, let denial be a doorway, not a destination. Let it soften the blow, not silence the alarm. Feeling good is a blessing, but it’s not a medical test. And pretending nothing is wrong doesn’t make anything go away.

Sometimes courage looks like showing up to the appointment you don’t want.
Sometimes survival begins with listening to the news you fear.
graphic and some content AI-generated

For other Cancer Diary posts, click HERE.

Blog editor's note: As a memorial to Carl, and simply because it is truly needed, MSI Press is now hosting a web page, Carl's Cancer Compendium, as a one-stop starting point for all things cancer, to make it easier for those with cancer to find answers to questions that can otherwise take hours to track down on the Internet and/or from professionals. The CCC is expanded and updated weekly. As part of this effort, each week, on Monday, this blog will carry an informative, cancer-related story -- and be open to guest posts: Cancer Diary. 

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