MSI Press Blog

    Today's excerpt comes from  A Woman's Guide to Self-Nurturing  by Joanna Romer. What is Self-Nurturing? On a tray in the middle of your bed sits a pretty teapot, milk and sugar, a flowered teacup and, the  piece de resistance , a frothy cream puff on a matching flowered plate. No, you’re not sick, and there is no one invited to this little tea party but you. You have gone out of your way to create a tempting display of yummy food and fine china solely for the purpose of pleasing yourself. “A waste of time,” I can hear you saying—but is it? Gazing at the tea tray and the cream puff, some inner part of your being is unaccountably soothed. It is the side of you that is, undeniably, female. Yes, men and women are equal, but sometimes their needs differ. Even Sheryl Sandberg, author of  Lean In,  the most feminist book in decades, declares, “…there are differences between men and women both in their behavior and the way their behavior is perceived” (San...

  from  Divorced! Survival Techniques for Singles over Forty  (Romer)        Self-Nurturing   You’ve had a rough day battling challenges at your job, perhaps some unexpected financial upsets and the usual tumult of traffic, weather and never enough time. Lurking behind these everyday occurrences is the hurt and confusion of dealing with your divorce. What do you do? Should you bolster a stiff upper lip, swallow your feelings and continue your work, whatever it may be? No, not necessarily. The newly divorced person, like the newly bereaved, needs special handling. That inner child in you is still confused about all the pain you’re going through—it (and you) deserves some coddling. How do we comfort ourselves when we know that comforting and pampering are exactly what we need? It’s not hard—the only difficult part is allowing ourselves those moments of self indulgence. Self-nurturing is a must for the newly divorced person, but it’s an activity...

    Today's book excerpt comes from   Widow: A Survival Guide for the First Year  by Joanna Romer. Nurture Yourself Nurturing Yourself   Grieving effectively is about finding a balance between two worlds. On the one hand, there is the life you had with your husband; you miss it, and him; you wish he were still with you. Often there is pain involved in your memories. On the other hand, you know you have to go on---there are a million details to take care of in connection with his passing. Your current job (if you have one, or maybe now you have to find one), your children, other relatives, friends and other individuals in your life will expect you to carry on. No one wants you to go to pieces---and you don’t really want to either, do you? One of the best ways to handle both the emotions and the sense of unreality that grieving brings, along with the responsibilities of carrying on, is to nurture yourself. Get in the habit of this, early and often---fr...

  Excerpt from A Woman's Guide to Self-Nurturing by Joanna Romer - How to Figure Out What Pleases You You know what your mother likes; ditto your daughter and your best friend. But do you really know what warms your soul? What single thing or combination of factors is necessary to soothe your inner being? Often we don’t know—a family reunion may bring tears of joy to your sister Gillian, but it leaves you cold. Your next door neighbor Amy thrives on frequent trips to the mall, but you’d rather drive to an out-of-the way antique store and shop for a “find.”  Every woman is different, and we make a mistake when we tag along on someone else’s pleasure jaunt thinking it’s ours too (unless of course our purpose is to give that person a treat). If our goal is to please ourselves, we need to plumb to the bottom of our consciousness and discover that special something that brings us joy. The good news is, the older we get the easier it is to figure this out, simply by the proces...