MSI Press Blog

    The following excerpt comes from Overcoming the Odds, edited by Carl Leaver\. GUIDELINES: TWO RULES FOR SURVIVAL Gratitude 1. When you get up in the morning, express gratitude that you had your husband as long as you did. You can do this by writing down some thoughts in a journal, saying a prayer, or just thinking grateful thoughts. 2. Talk about your loved one with friends, mentioning particularly nice things your husband did for you and others. 3. Make a list of everything that you have to be grateful for. Post the list in a conspicuous place: near your computer, on the refrigerator, or in a journal you use every day. 4. Take yourself out to lunch at a favorite place, and feel grateful to be lunching there. Savor the food; admire the ambiance. 5. Go to a movie that you know will touch you. Be grateful that you can still be touched. Do Something for Someone Else 1. Buy a little gift for one of your husband’s relatives. Sisters, brothers, even cousins may be hurting as much as yo

  Today's book excerpt comes from Women, We're Only Old Once by Bertha Cooper. INTRODUCTION   I stood at the door to my old age, somewhat reluctant to enter. Since I was only partially committed to the inevitable, I took a cautious first look at this new territory and came up with more questions than answers. What should I wear? What must I plan? What must I pack? What do I leave behind? What does it matter? I embarked on writing Women, We’re Only Old Once!: Keep What You Can, Let Go of What You Can’t, Enjoy What You Have when I was 66 years old and found myself asking even more questions. I knew that I was not alone. I would write from a woman’s point of view. Women, We’re Only Old Once! would be a book for women. I knew that I wanted to share my journey with other women and that I wanted to invite women to share their journeys with me. Aging doesn’t start at 50, 55, 60, or 65. It starts at birth. Aging doesn’t get a bad name until accompanied by wrinkles, arthriti

  Chronic Grief How We can Help Ourselves and Others                                                                                                      Sponsored by Widowed Person Outreach – Helping and Healing, Washington, DC With Julie Potter, LCSW, Thursday, March 23 rd  - 7:00pm on zoom Julie Potter will discuss the clinical manifestations of chronic grief, the danger signs to watch for, and ways you can help yourself and others. In addition, there are other grieving processes that we may see as chronic but are still part of the journey: returning grief, traumatic grief, ambiguous grief, grief as we age, and global grief. In whatever form it takes for you (and it may sometimes be chronic grief), grief is natural to all of us, it helps us to incorporate our losses into our lives, it helps us to move forward into the future in a changed and sometimes completely new way, it helps us to remember, it is as powerful as love. It is love. Julie Potter is a certified social worker with ex

I don’t know who wants to hear this right now, but I hope you will share this with anyone who needs it. I promise you, there are people you love out there right now who are scared, and they don’t feel like they can talk to anyone about what they are truly afraid of. You probably also have loved ones in high risk groups who are not afraid and who are ready to talk, but they may be quite lonely because no one will listen.  As many of you know, I used to work as a hospice chaplain, visiting people in their final months, weeks, days, and hours, as well as sitting and praying at the deathbed after a loved one’s passing. I’ve had terrifying experiences as well as profoundly blissful ones, but every single encounter with death has been humbling. There were times I felt the pull of dark energies nearby and times I was floating in bottomless peace. Yet one of the most important insights that came from those families I had the honor to witness and care about was this: much of the fear of

                                                                                       (photo by Frank Perez) It is Tuesday. Time to tall turkey. Monday's madness is over, and Wednesday will take us over the hump, so Tuesday it is--for some serious discussion with authors. Tuesday talks mean to address authors in waiting and self-published authors who would like to go a more traditional route or who would at least like to take their steps with a publisher by their side. Ever wonder how books get to be accepted for publication? There is often more to any author's story than non-authors and not-yet-published authors would image.  Yes, of course, every publisher has the normal channel of proposal reading and acceptance based on the quality of the proposal, the "fit" of the book, the quality of the writing, and the perceived marketability, typically based on the author's platform. But...some books come into being in some other ways. Here are a few from the MSI Press e

  When a dying loved one does not want to talk about the ramifications of dying is an issue I have been wanting to address for a time. it was a very difficult one for us. More than head-in-sand, it was a deliberate refusal by Carl, when he was dying, to become involved with completing really important paperwork, like advanced directives, will/family trust, power of attorney. It was as if he could avoid death by not talking about it. (Of course, to be fair in representing the situation, he found out from a fall, with no warning, that he had probably only days and weeks left to live. The local hospital said days; Stanford was more positive about taking steps to turn days into something longer.) Cancer Diary will address this topic again (and likely again). For today, though, I want to share Diane Hullet's Best Life, Best Death podcast interview with Barbara Karnes on these sticky end of life questions, from the point of view of hospice worker and family member. See related MSI Pres

  Last Sunday, 3-20-2020, would have been the 52d anniversary for Carl and me had he not died in August. I make this post here and not Cancer Diary, although Carl died from Cancer, because Carl was an important member of the MSI Press staff from its inception in 2003 until the month before he died. He was still working on typesetting tasks on July 23, 2021 when he fell and was admitted to Stanford, then sent home on a very short 10-day hospice.  I am also including it here, on Caturday, because our cats were a very important part of Carl's life. Particularly Intrepid, who lived up to his name yet snuggled with Carl every night and, like Carl, died of cancer three years ago, resulting in a book named after him, and Murjan, shown here, who never know whether he was dog or human but certainly did not consider himself a cat, could be found at Carl's elbow every day, especially at mealtimes. He was a very polite cat and would wait his turn for food, and one could have a fairly long

  We just released an incomparable and comprehensive book on growing old with grace and smarts.  With over ten years of growing into an old woman with the help of her friends, Bertha Cooper knows whereof she writes. In this book you will learn that growing old is not the slow death of our personalities, our bodies, or our relevance to the world. Someday, it will happen, but not yet! Feel the wisdom below the years we've lived and the power that comes with making our own choices about our aging selves.  Women, We're Only Old Once  offers explanations for natural changes that occur while aging and transitions we must make as we age. Women can be relieved to learn that having less endurance or word-finding problems are not signs of disease. Women are empowered to put their energy and spirit where it counts on their journey in this important phase of life. More information about the book can be found HERE .  Bertha was born and raised in Seattle WA long before Microsoft and Amazon.

  We only get to die once (well, usually, NDEs aside). How we die can be just as important as how we live. I wish that thought had been top of the mind when Carl was dying; we might have done things differently. It is not, though, that we did not have examples. We did, actually. Dottie, a dear friend from Massachusetts, had been my secretary when I was in the Army and then opened her house to me and my infant son when, during my later reserve days, the barracks would not allow him in because of his severe breathing issues from which he was in danger of dying nearly every day. (He survived, grew up, and, still with some breathing issues, is living a robust life.) Through all the intervening years, even after I moved to California, Dottie stayed in touch. Then, she got terminal brain cancer. After some initial surgery (and more planned, which, she feared, she would not survive), she decided that she wanted to spend the time she had left visiting all her family, which had spread out acros