Excerpt from Living Well with Chronic Illness (Charnas): Sadness

Sadness 

Sometimes, living with chronic illness can make us feel deeply sad. It’s okay to occasionally fall apart. Cry if you need to.

After a painful and unexpected episode of particularly bad health, I often found myself overcome by sadness and despair. I would be doing the dishes, making the bed, or watching a television commercial, and I’d start to weep. On top of everything else, I then felt stupid. But so what? No one besides you cares if you sob while you wash the dinner dishes!

However, if sadness overwhelms you and you can rarely shake it off, you may be clinically depressed. Then you might consider consulting a therapist for counseling or antidepressant medications. Therapy and/or medication won’t ensure your happiness, but they may alleviate the oppressive quality of your sadness.

While it’s natural to feel sad, try not to dwell on your despair longer than necessary. Only you know how long you need to focus on your sad feelings. But if you find yourself weeping as I did that morning while watching TV, once you’ve stopped crying, try to do something different. Make a conscious effort to shift your mood so you can enjoy the rest of your day, such as

• taking a walk if you are well enough;
• calling a loved one;
• watching a movie at home or in a theater;
• reading;
• stroking the fur of a loved animal; or
• listening to music.

Do anything that soothes and centers you. If your illness circumscribes what you can do, spend five minutes sitting still and breathing deeply if you can. Feel whatever you need to feel, but then try to move on so the difficult emotions don’t ruin your day.

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