Daily Excerpt: Depression Anonymous (Ortman): Depression as a Drug

 

Excerpt from Depression Anonymous

DEPRESSION AS A DRUG 

All of us feel blue from time to time. After all, sadness, sorrow, and grief are natural reactions to the loss of persons and things that are important to us. Feeling sad, we withdraw into a cocoon to soothe ourselves and adjust to the change in our life. We withdraw to nurse the wound of the loss. Feeling the pain, we inwardly search for its meaning, looking for a way of making sense of it. In this grieving process, we slowly let go of all the energy we used to put into what was lost and come to accept the void in our lives. If we do not succumb to the temptation of bitterness, the accepted pain of sorrow opens our hearts to new life and to empathy for others. 

But sometimes the loss can seem unbearable and the sorrow overwhelming. The sadness reaches to the core of our being and a black cloud envelops us. We cannot escape the darkness. Our bodies, minds, and spirits become possessed. We cannot sleep or eat normally, and our energy dissipates. Joy flees our lives, and nothing gives us pleasure anymore. We begin to dread our daily routines and hate our lives. Despair grips us. We lose all hope for the future, entertaining thoughts of dying as an escape from the intolerable pain

When we become stuck in sorrow and the black mood interferes with our happiness and daily living, we suffer from clinical depression. 

If your depressed mood has interfered with your wellbeing for an extended period of time, you are not alone. Depression runs rampant in our fast-paced society. Nearly a fifth (19.3%) of adults and 14.3% of teens will suffer from clinical depression at some time during their lives (1). Women are twice as likely as men to experience a mood disorder. Depression is on the rise. Ten times more people have been diagnosed with it than two decades ago. What is most troubling about a mood disorder is its persistence. If you have had one depressive episode, the likelihood of you having another is 50%. After three episodes of depression, the lifetime risk of relapse is a staggering 90% (2). 

If you suffer from depression, a persistent deep sadness, you may feel powerless to overcome it. Perhaps you have tried a variety of treatments: medication, counseling, self-help, or even electroshock therapy. You may have felt some relief, but the mood still seems to enslave you. If so, you may be addicted to your depressed mood. Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine if your mood is addictive: 

• Do you feel overwhelmed often by a sense of loss and helplessness? 
• Do you consider your sadness excessive, even crippling most of the time? 
• Even though your depressed reactions are painful and harmful, do you feel powerless to stop them? 
• Does your preoccupation with past hurts and regrets interfere with your life? 
• Do you disengage from life, and feel like you are sleepwalking through it? 
• Does your need to isolate seem excessive, interfering with your relationships? 
• Do you feel hopeless about finding a cure for your depression?

Without realizing it, your depression acts like a drug that sedates, numbs, and possesses you. 

You probably do not think of your depressed mood as a drug because it drains you of pleasure in life. You cannot imagine deriving any benefit from it. Nevertheless, depression acts like a sedative-hypnotic that lulls you to sleep. Under its influence, your body, mind, and spirit shut down. You lack energy and motivation to become engaged in life. You cannot eat or sleep as you did before. The arousal center in your brain is anesthetized so you cannot concentrate, remember, think clearly, or make decisions quickly. Your mind obsesses about regrets, disappointments, and your own worthlessness. You feel compelled to isolate yourself in your misery. 

Most tragically, depression deadens your spirit. You no longer feel alive. You feel possessed by a “noonday demon” that wrings your soul of all hope, meaning, and the will to live. You are powerless in the grasp of this demon that rules your life.

The greatest loss in being depressed is the loss of yourself. You do not own your life. Your addictive illness does. Yet you are not beyond hope. Through recovery, you can come home to yourself

For more posts about Dr. Dennis Ortman and his books, click HERE.

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