Daily Excerpt: Depression Anonymous (Ortman) - Persistent Depressive Disorder
excerpt from Depression Anonymous by Dr. Dennis Ortman
PERSISTENT
DEPRESSIVE DISORDER
Alice,
a woman feeling cheated by life:
“I’ve
been jinxed. Nothing has ever gone right for me. It began in childhood. I was
the fat kid everyone picked on. In high school, no boys ever wanted to date me.
And then there’s my health. I’ve suffered from asthma my whole life and had
several auto accidents in which I was severely injured. I tried to make up for
all my failures by being good at my job. I became an extremely competent
executive secretary, a perfectionist. I took pride in my work. Would you
believe I was fired because I complained so much about problems in the company?
I just wanted the business to succeed. Even now, I’m the one who has to take
care of our elderly parents because my siblings don’t want to have anything to
do with them. You’d think my parents would appreciate all my help, but they
just take me for granted.
I
often stay awake at night thinking about all the unfair things that happened to
me. I also worry about the future. I don’t know if I’ll ever find a job that
suits me and my abilities. I’ve had so many failures dating, I don’t believe
I’ll ever find the right man and get married.”
Carl,
a man who could not say no to anyone:
“I’ve
tried to please people my whole life. As a child, I wanted to please my parents
and teachers. When I was married, I wanted to please my wife and my kids. At
work, my bosses and coworkers. I never said ‘no’ to my friends when they asked
for help. When anyone asked me to do something, I always said ‘yes’ immediately
without thinking. But afterward, I often regretted agreeing because I really
didn’t want to do it. So my whole life I did what others asked of me and came
to hate myself for being a people-pleaser. I wanted people to like me, but
ended up not liking myself.”
Your feelings follow
your thoughts. As you think, so you feel. When negative thoughts of failure and
defeat fill your mind, you become depressed. The habit of negative thinking can
develop early in life and result in a persistent depressive disorder. It used
to be called dysthymia, which means, “lacking strong feeling,” a loss of
passion in life. The severity of this depression is not quite like that of
major depression, but it still drains you of happiness.
You are your own worst enemy. Actually, that is good news because you can change the way you think. Typically, when you are depressed you develop unrealistic expectations about the world and your life. You can become a perfectionist in your thinking. I often ask my depressed patients, “What do you think the odds are of you being perfect?” They respond, “Not very good.” “In fact, it’s zero,” I point out. If you expect perfection, you will always feel disappointed in your life and in yourself. The result is low self-esteem. At war within yourself, you engage in battles you can never win.
FINALIST, BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARD
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