Daily Excerpt: Life after Losing a Child (Young & Romer) - Losing a Second Child
Excerpt from Life after Losing a Child by Pat Young and Romer -
Losing a Second Child
Cristy got her transplant and seemed to
be doing very well. She enrolled in college and went on with her life, but then
her lungs failed again. She had a double lung transplant at the Mayo Clinic in
Jacksonville, Florida. Then, she needed a kidney transplant because the
anti-rejection medicine caused her kidneys to fail. Kathleen was relieved when
she was able to donate one of hers to her daughter. If nothing else, it would
buy them more time.
The
day before she was to receive her bachelor’s degree, the doctors told Cristy
her lungs were failing and there was nothing else they could do.
“Mom,” Cristy had said to Kathleen in
tears, “I’m dying, and I don’t want to die.”
Cristy moved back home where her mom could
take care of her. Kathleen made her car into “a little ambulance” and took her
daughter to Pittsburgh, hoping to get another transplant. Despite all of
Kathleen’s efforts, Cristy passed away at the age of 25 in November of 2015.
Kathleen Today
Kathleen has gone on with her life to
the best of her ability. She has a fiancé with a 13-year-old daughter, Kylie.
Kylie lost her mom when she was only eight, “and she is like a daughter to me,”
Kathleen says. They find strength in each other.
Kathleen also sees a grief therapist,
goes to a support group, and plays “therapeutic tennis.” She says her fiancé
got her back on the court.
Kathleen’s other two children, Antonio
and Bibi, are doing well. Antonio lives in Puerto Rico. Bibi recently found
“true love,” according to Kathleen, and is happy. Bibi plans to be tested to
see if she has the cystic fibrosis gene, but Kathleen assures her that both
parents must have the gene to pass it on.
“Without our knowledge, my husband and I
were both carriers,” Kathleen says “There are no visible signs when you are a
carrier.”
Kathleen mourns her two lost children. In
remembrance of Cristy and Sarah, she always wears two bands on her arm. “I just
think that it’s the worst thing a mother can go through,” she says. “The most
pure love is the mother’s love for a child. You can’t carry that baby in you
and not feel love.
“Anything
that happens to me now will never be so insurmountable,” says this strong
mother. “But I am tired. My heart is heavy.”
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