Daily Excerpt: Depression Anonymous (Ortman) - Major Depressive Disorder

 


excerpt from Depression Anonymous (Dennis Ortman) -- 

MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER

Paula, a middle-aged woman suffering emotional storms:

“Black moods seem to come out of nowhere and take me over. I heard them once called ‘brain storms.’ That describes what I feel perfectly. When the storm suddenly comes, there’s a howling tempest in my brain. I can’t focus on anything, can’t think clearly, and can’t make any decisions. I’m so agitated I can’t sleep and have no energy or interest to do anything. I just want to curl up in a ball and die. These storms come unannounced, blow through me, and disappear after a couple of weeks. When it happens, I’m just plain miserable and intolerable to be around.

I was shy and withdrawn as a child. I really became depressed in my twenties, when I was first hospitalized for a suicide attempt. I understand where my depression came from. Almost everyone in my family has some degree of depression. My father withdrew when the moods overtook him, and my mother became mean and cruel. The only relief I find now between the depressive periods is smoking cigarettes, gardening, and caring for the dogs I foster from the animal shelter. I can identify with these outcast animals and want to help them.”

Major depression comes like a sudden thunderstorm that completely incapacitates you. Sometimes you can identify triggers that announce it’s coming, such as a loss of health, a death in the family, or a broken relationship. However, most often, the storms come out of the blue. Some change in your brain chemistry precipitates a cascading series of events. Joy disappears from your life, replaced by despair and hopelessness. Your mind is in a fog, and your body shuts down. You have no interest or pleasure in your life. You cannot eat or sleep as you did before. Thoughts of death fill your mind.

These storms do not really come from nowhere. Research shows that we inherit a predisposition to mood disorders from our family. Given the tendency to blame both yourself and others, you may blame your parents for your illness and yourself for being weak. Many of my patients complain of guilt for passing on their genes to their children, feeling responsible for their mental problems. But is that fair? Who chooses their own genetic makeup?




For more posts about Dennis and his books, click HERE.





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