Weekly Soul - Week 32 - Courage
Today's meditation from Weekly Soul: Fifty-two Meditations on Meaningful, Joyful, and Peaceful Living by Dr. Frederic Craigie.
-32-
You
gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really
stop to look fear in the face. Do the thing you think you cannot do… do one
thing every day that scares you.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I admire stories of courage. Can you
imagine the courage of the Apollo 11 astronauts landing on the moon, facing the
very real possibility of being stranded looking down at the earth 250,000 miles
away with no way to return? (If your car battery dies outside the hardware
store, it’s one thing, but for them…).
No less inspiring are stories of everyday
courage. I have had many patients like the man who was terrified to leave his
home but summoned the courage to walk to the mailbox, then drive down the
street, and then go to the grocery store. Or my neighbor who spoke to the
unpopular opinion of supporting the school budget proposal—maintaining funding
for music and creative arts—in our crowded town meeting.
Acceptance—looking challenges in the face—means
looking beyond the suffering to see the possibility of a growth opportunity and
sometimes, to recognize a message in disguise.
Emotions are a gift. They can be
exhilarating. They can be painful. But often, they communicate something
meaningful about where we could be going. We are, I believe, evolutionarily
hard-wired to experience emotions, even if distressing, because they are useful
in our survival and well-being. It’s like acute pain. Acute pain is, well, a
pain, but without pain, you wouldn’t have the direct feedback that leaning on
your thousand-degree woodstove is not a good idea.
The collection of experiences that we call
“depression,” for instance, often communicates “Your life is out of balance,”
“Maybe you need to make some changes,” or “Maybe this is a time to back up a
bit and think about where you’re going.”
The idea of emotions as messengers, of
course, runs contrary to our cultural and medical/cultural assumptions. The
health care culture, championed by the pharmaceutical industry, tells us that
uncomfortable emotions are irredeemably bad and need to be done away with. We
don’t honor emotions enough.
Fear often communicates messages of “Be
careful,” or “Get away.” Fear, hopefully, keeps you from going to close to the
edge at Grand Canyon. Fear surely prompted soul-searching and planning for
Austrian Jews in 1938 as they anticipated a knock on the door. Regrettably, the
same is true for undocumented immigrants in America as I write this.
But it’s more than that. Fear—in its
everyday and particularly psychologically-grounded form, we use the word
“anxiety”—communicates the message of “Here is a growth opportunity.” Anxiety
points to choices we can courageously make that stand to expand our lives, to
make our lives bigger and freer.
If you face the fear of driving and you
drive, you expand your life. If you face the fear of public speaking and you
venture to put yourself out there among other people, you expand your life. If
you’re anxious about telling someone that you love them and you do this, you
expand your life. It is not a matter of doing any of these things flawlessly or
comfortably; it is more a matter of developing the practice of listening to and
honoring your feelings.
As Joseph Campbell famously commented, the
cave that you are afraid to enter may just be the source of what you’re looking
for. You gain strength by looking fear and other uncomfortable emotions in the
face. You expand your life by doing the things that scare you, the things you
think you cannot do.
Reflection
- · What do you think
about the idea of uncomfortable emotions as messengers? Have there been times
when you have felt anxious or demoralized and had the experience that these
emotions pointed you in helpful directions?
- · When have you
“looked fear in the face” and made the choice to do what you were anxious about
doing? What was this experience like; how did you feel about having done this?
- · In the coming
week, make a point to do something that scares you.
Author
Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962) was an activist
and life-long advocate for progressive causes. She knew whereof she spoke about
facing fear, emerging from her early years when, by all accounts, she was shy
and lacking in confidence, to become one of the most prominent and admired
women in the world.
She was born into a wealthy and
politically-connected family (her uncle was Theodore Roosevelt) but suffered
through a painful childhood. Her mother, her alcoholic father, and a brother
all died before Eleanor was ten, and she was principally raised by a
frequently-critical grandmother. Studying in London in her late teen years, she
found a life-changing relationship with a mentor who helped her to become more
independent and laid the groundwork for a passionate connection with the world
of ideas and social causes.
Eleanor married Franklin Roosevelt in
1905, supporting him in his early political life while bearing and caring for
four children. Learning of her husband’s affair in 1918, she chose to remain
married but was strengthened in her growing intention to create her own life
and commitments.
In her years as First Lady, Eleanor found
a platform to do this. She advocated for greater presence of women in
government and in the administration, leading to the appointment of Francis
Perkins, who was the impetus for many of the New Deal programs. She acted in
solidarity with homeless coal miners and World War I veterans. She lobbied on
behalf of African American rights and famously resigned her membership in the
Daughters of the American Revolution when they denied the use of their
principal venue to singer Marion Anderson. She held hundreds of press
conferences and began a syndicated six-day-a-week newspaper column in which she
discussed current events and humanitarian issues.
Nor did Roosevelt’s activism slow down
after her husband’s death. Harry Truman appointed her as a delegate to the
United Nations General Assembly, and soon after she became chair of the
newly-formed United Nations Commission on Human Rights and was instrumental in
developing the UN-sponsored Universal Declaration of Human Rights. She
continued human rights advocacy in the remaining 15 years of her life, while
she played an active role in Democratic politics, spoke out against
McCarthyism, urged civil rights protections for African-American activists,
chaired a commission on the status of women, continued her newspaper column,
completed over two dozen books, and maintained a busy schedule of speaking
around the world. You might join me in wondering if she ever slept.
The quotation comes from her 1960 You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys to a More Fulfilling Life (New York: Harper and Row)
Book Description:
Keywords:
meditation; reflection; inspiration; miracles; aliveness; purpose; laughter; joy; presence; mindfulness; activism; acceptance; gratitude; forgiveness; creativity; civility; hope; affirmation; wholeness; well-being; mental health; personal growth; transformation; inner peace; personal reflection; joy; joyful living; inspirational quotes; inspirational commentary
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