Excerpt from Weekly Soul (Craigie): Meditation #10 (Remember Who You Are)
Excerpt from Weekly Soul by Dr. Frederic Craigie:
-10-
The heart of most
spiritual practices is simply this: Remember who you are. Remember what you
love. Remember what is sacred. Remember what is true. Remember that you will
die and that this day is a gift. Remember how you wish to live.
Wayne Muller
In May of 1995, actor Christopher Reeve
was taking part in an equestrian competition in Virginia when his horse
abruptly stopped before a jump, throwing him forward onto the ground. Unable to
break his fall because his hands were entangled with the reins, he landed on
his head and suffered a broken neck. The former Superman, Reeve was paralyzed
from the neck down for the remaining nine years of his life.
In the immediate aftermath of the injury,
Reeve considered his profound disability and told his wife, Dana, that “maybe
we should let me go.” Her response was, “You’re still you, and I love you.”
Outwardly, of course, Reeve was not at all
who he had been. Unable to walk or move, ventilator-dependent, relying on other
people for personal care, the “you” of Christopher Reeve was very different. There
was a core of who he had been that remained, however, that apparently blessed
his family and fueled a busy life of activism on behalf of medical research and
disability rights until his death.
“Remember who you are.” The idea of who
you are may not be called forth as starkly for any of us as it was for Reeve,
but it is there. Both in the face of challenges and in the course of everyday
life, there is a “you” that gives life direction and energy.
So… who are you? In my decades as a medical educator, I think the article
that I have most often shared with trainees is “The Nature of Suffering and the
Goals of Medicine,” written by psychiatrist Eric Cassel and published in the New England Journal of Medicine in 1982.
Cassel presents a short but elegant description of what it means to be a person:
we all have a past, we have a cultural and social context, we have roles—and makes
the case that we suffer when medical events disrupt the key elements of who we
are. My roles, for instance, include being a husband, a father and grandfather,
a psychologist, a neighbor and community member, a dog owner, a basketball
player, a fiddler, a do-it-yourselfer around the house, and a 45-year Red Sox
fan. A disruption of any of these roles would call for some accommodation and,
to a lesser or greater extent, soul-searching. When I sprain my ankle playing basketball
and I am out of action for six weeks, I suffer. When family members move across
the country, I need to make some adjustments. (I can point out, by the way,
that being a Red Sox fan prior to their 2004 World Series victory taught me a
lot about suffering.)
But roles and social/cultural context do
not adequately frame the essence of who you are. Muller wisely points out that
the essence of who you are lies in your relationship with what is sacred for
you. What you love.
Back up to the idea of roles. Why do any of your roles matter to you? What is it about being a sister, or a
volunteer at the migrant shelter, or a nurse, or a tennis partner that matters
to you? What are the underlying values that give energy and heart to the
relationships in your life?
Reflecting on her roles as a mother, a
community volunteer, and a part-time grant writer, a client said, “I guess they
all have to do with putting a little goodness out into the world.” This is
good. Remembering that she is a person who brings goodness to the world is
important for two reasons. First, it provides a values-based framework for
looking at how she engages any of the activities in her life. “In my work as a
Girl Scout leader, how am I doing with affirming and empowering these young
girls?” Second, it provides a transcendent, enduring, and inalterable framework
for being who she is even if circumstances change. Children leave home. Girl
Scouts move on. Grant opportunities pass. But the opportunity to “bring
goodness to the world” is always there.
Remember who you are.
Reflection
- Think of the key roles that
you play in your life. How would you put into words why these roles matter
to you? How would you put into words how
you want to be, in serving these roles?
- What do you think that someone
who knows and loves you would say about what they particularly admire
about who you are and how you live your life? Do these qualities line up
with what you see or what you value in yourself?
- In the week to come, pay
attention to times when what you do—especially small, daily things—shows
something of the best that you are.
Author
Wayne
Muller (b. 1953)
is, himself, a man of many roles: writer, speaker, and consultant, with
particular interests in working with individuals and organizations to invite
meaningful living and inspired leadership. A graduate of Harvard Divinity
School, Muller has served as visiting scholar and faculty at the Fetzer
Institute and the Institute for Noetic Sciences, and is the founder of two
nonprofits dedicated to individual realization and community development. The
quotation comes from How, Then, Shall We
Live? Four Simple Questions the Reveal the Beauty and Meaning of Our Lives (Bantam,
1996).
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