Guest Post from Dr. Dennis Ortman, MSI Press Author: A New Year

 

A NEW YEAR

“May it be done to me according to your word.”

--Luke 1: 38

 

 

A new year begins. The transition between the past and the coming year invites reflection. We all look back and then forward. Commentators review the best and worst of everything, attempt to discern trends, and make predictions for the coming year. Will it be a good or bad year--the best of times or the worst of times? Who really knows?

Nevertheless, commentators make their prognostications, sometimes with great confidence. Of course, their opinions vary. Many are diametrically opposed, as if they are looking at different universes. I suspect their imagined futures are really a projection of their own idiosyncratic views of themselves and the world. After all, we see others as we are. 

As we begin a new year, of course, we take a personal look at our lives. We look back at our regrets and celebrations. Inevitably, our lives have been a mixed bag. We then look to the next year and entertain expectations about what will occur. Finally, we make New Year’s resolutions. How can I become a better person? What do I need to do? That is a familiar annual exercise. 

As the year begins, we naturally entertain expectations about the coming year. Those expectations guide our choices. They give us a sense of direction and control over our destiny. We then set goals and objectives accordingly. Our views of the future shape our lives, often more than we imagine. Who we are emerges from the way we think about ourselves and the trajectory of our lives. 

Have you ever stopped to consider how you view the future? On what do you base your projections?  Are you a pessimist, optimist, or realist? Most of us fall into one of these three categories. However, such thinking about the future can limit us. It can interfere with our living fully the present moment. 

Is there another way to view the coming year, without preconceptions, open to whatever comes? 

On January 1, the Catholic Church celebrates the Feast of Mary, the Mother of God. She is our model for an alternative attitude. After the birth of her son and hearing the stories of the magi and shepherds, Luke recounted, “And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.” (Luke 2: 16) She reflected and responded with the openness she showed with the angel Gabriel, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” (Luke 1: 38) She accepted with trust the angel’s invitation to become pregnant, not understanding where it would lead. 

OUR IMAGINED FUTURES

Let us begin by looking at our ordinary thinking about the future. We cannot help but have expectations, which reflect our wishes. Most of these ideas, however, are based on past experience and how we interpret it. As I mentioned above, most of us tend to think in these three predictable patterns: 

Pessimists:

“Pessimists are never disappointed,” we tell ourselves. This view arises from many past experiences of disappointment, which we expect to continue. Our hopes have been dashed, and we suffered great pain as a result. Perhaps at one time we entertained high expectations for ourselves and others, but the disappointment was too much for us. We decided never to aim so high again. So we are always preparing ourselves for the worst. We live defensively, in anticipation of some disaster. We tell ourselves, “I won’t let anything defeat me again!” We may feel safe. However, the price we pay for such a worldview is a loss of joy. We do not live fully the present moment and never learn to appreciate the simple joys of life. 

Optimists:

Optimists tell themselves, “When you’re positive, good things happen. I always expect the best.” We believe in the law of attraction, that goodness inevitably attracts the same, and vice versa. We believe in the power of positive thinking. That is natural for us Americans who firmly believe in progress. We are idealists at heart. We expect our lives to improve, if we work hard enough and get a few breaks. We also believe in the value of hard work to overcome all obstacles. Such optimism can inspire great achievements. However, when we hit a wall, and our best efforts fail, we may feel lost. We may not know how to make sense of failure, loss, defeat, or even death, which is the complete loss of control. 

Realists:

So-called realists, who seek a balanced view of their lives, say, “I hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.” We see our lives as a roller coaster with ups and downs, highs and lows. We seem to be preparing ourselves for the extremes, the best and the worst. A patient of mine who was in the Army told me he learned this attitude in order to be prepared for the unpredictability of war. He had to be ready and resourceful. Such a view arises from the experience of life as an ongoing contest with forces of good and evil. We are always preparing ourselves for a fight. We never fully relax. We are always waiting to respond to events beyond our control. 

SEIZE THE MOMENT

Aside from these three natural ways of thinking, there is a fourth way. It is the way of Mary. “Let it be,” she said. It is the way of living fully the present moment with an attitude of openness, beyond fear and desire. There is no need to have a clear idea or guarantee of a future outcome. 

In reality, the future is always unknown. It does not yet exist. Whatever we imagine about the future is just a current thought, not reality. Thinking we know what will happen may give us the illusion of security. In the same way, all of our memories and interpretations about the past are also just thoughts, not reality. They are conditioned ways of thinking that can distract us from experiencing whatever is happening in the present moment. Only the present moment is real. 

A patient of mine, who often got lost in his thoughts, would begin each session with the same question, “What’s new?” I always responded, “This moment is new. In the history of the universe, it never existed and never will again.” He often wanted to pick up where we left off in the last session. But I invited him to be present to whatever he experienced of himself in that moment. “Talk about whatever is on your mind,” I told him. 

The following are some suggestions for staying in the present moment, the only time that is real: 

Be childlike:

Mary was a young teenager, a mere child, when the angel approached her. Jesus said, “Unless you become like a little child, you cannot enter the kingdom of God.” We admire the innocence of children. They do not carry the burden of the past or guilt. Their history is brief, so they do not get caught up in thinking about the past. Their expectations about the future too are limited, mostly influenced by what we adults tell them. Instead, they live the present moment, often with a playful attitude. They possess a natural sense of joy, untarnished by the ravages of failure, disappointment, and resentment. In their innocence and unself-conscious enjoyment of life they are models for us. 

Let go of the past:

So young, Mary was not burdened by her past or guilt. She was free to respond to the moment whole-heartedly. Our daily challenge is to avoid clinging to our views of the past. Memory can be a severe taskmaster. It can rule our lives. We may relish happy moments, but it is the tragic times that most capture our attention. By nature, we are inclined to protect ourselves from negative events, more than celebrating the positive. So, we project our negativity and fear into the future. 

Freedom to enjoy fully the present moment requires that we let go of our regrets and wounds from the past and not let them dominate our lives. Unfortunate events are opportunities to learn and grow. Whatever happens to us is a vehicle for our personal growth in the present. We just need to learn how to use this gift. 

Be open to surprise:

Mary accepted the angel’s invitation, without comprehending or asking where it would lead. In contrast, we often become prisoners of our expectations, without even knowing it. Events happen, and we think we know their meaning from past experience. However, we cannot be as confident as with think in evaluating the good or evil of events. We lack a large enough perspective. 

There is a well-known Chinese story about trying to assess the future. A poor farmer’s horse ran off into the country of the barbarians. All his neighbors said, “Isn’t that terrible?” But the father responded, “We’ll see.” After a few months, the horse returned with a barbarian horse of excellent stock. All his neighbors said, “Isn’t that wonderful?” But the father said, “How do you know that it isn’t a disaster? We’ll see.” The two horses bred, and the family became rich in fine horses. The farmer’s son spent much time riding and training them. Then, one day he fell off and broke his hipbone. All his neighbors said, “Isn’t that terrible?” and offered their condolences. But his father responded, “How do you know that this isn’t good fortune? We’ll see.”Another year passed, and the barbarians invaded the area. All the able-bodied you men were drafted to fight, and nine-tenths of them died in the war. Who can tell how events will unfold? The only realistic response is, “We’ll see.” 

We can never know with certainty the outcome of our decisions. However, what happens to us can always lead to some beneficial result. Being open invites us to live without regret. “Never regret a day in your life: good days give happiness, bad days give experience, worst days give lessons, and best days give memories.” (Unknown source) 

See God’s presence:

Mary believed Gabriel who assured her that she was full of grace and that the Lord was with her at that moment. The present moment is often called the eternal now. It is the privileged time in which God reveals Himself. At Christmas, we celebrate that God became human in Jesus Christ. God took on our flesh, our history, our life. In short, we believe that God is present in our history, in every moment and event or our lives. No matter what happens, God is with us. He is both celebrating and suffering with us. We are never alone. 

The God we Christians believe in is triune: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. In every circumstance, we can sense the presence of God. When our lives are unfolding in unexpected ways, we come to know better the Father, the Creator. When we fail or suffer, we come closer to the Son, the Redeemer. When we strive to grow and become holy (whole), we are assisted by the Holy Spirit, the Sanctifier. God’s grace is ever-present. 

Even before the coming of Christ, the Hindus had a deep faith in the presence of God in all the circumstances of their lives. They also believed in a Trinity: Brahma, Vishnu, and Siva. Brahma is the Creator, who brings new life. Vishnu is the Preserver, whom we experience as our lives unfold. Siva is the Destroyer, whose presence we sense when our lives are falling apart. We sense the Divine working through us in all these situations. Everything is grace, under the watchful eye and care of God. 

As a new year begins, we reflect on the events of the past year. We also look forward to the coming year and make resolutions. Mary is our model for reflecting and commitment-making. She showed an attitude of openness to an unknown future, unburdened by crippling expectations. She embraced the moment and trusted God in surrendering to His will. Each year we are preparing ourselves to finally embrace a new life we believe is eternal.

For more posts by and about Dr. Ortman, click HERE.

For New Year posts, click HERE. 

For more posts with a spiritual flavor, click HERE.

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