Daily Excerpt: Anger Anonymous (Ortman) - Will to Power: A Control Freak
excerpt from Anger Anonymous -
WILL
TO POWER: A CONTROL FREAK
Alcoholics Anonymous describes
alcoholics as “self-centered in the extreme,” whose trouble is caused by “the
misuse of willpower.” Feeling so helpless, out of control with his life, the
alcoholic craves power and control. When he first begins drinking, the
alcoholic discovers the magical quality of alcohol to transform his moods and
personality. He enjoys the pleasurable feeling of intoxication and escaping
painful reality. With time and experience, he finds in alcohol the means to
control his mind, mood, and world, whenever he wants. Alcohol is his personal
genie in a bottle.
For a time, alcohol is a wonder
drug, the elixir of life—until the addiction takes hold. As his drinking
increases, the miracle drug that freed him begins to control him. The
instrument he used to master his world now enslaves him. Angry people, too, are
power hungry and end up starving.
Fred, a hard-driving businessman:
“Success drives me. I’m a type-A
personality. I always admired Donald Trump, a man who does not tolerate
nonsense and is not afraid to speak his mind. At a young age I started my own
auto parts business. It’s a competitive business, and I enjoy the challenge. I
kept my business going when many others went under during the recession. I
believe I’m successful because of the quality of my product. I hold myself and
all my employees to the highest standards. I admit I get angry at times and
yell and scream. But that is only to maintain a high level of performance. My
family tells me I can be a bully and act like I’m at work. But I push them to be the best for their own
good. One day they will thank me.”
The craving for power and control
often fuels anger. Bluntly expressing anger then becomes the instrument of
control. Others bend to your will. You get what you want. You accomplish your
goals. You may be intoxicated by its power for a period of time until you
realize the price you pay personally and in your relationships. Over time, the
sustained angry reaction takes its toll on your emotions and physical
wellbeing. You become hardened, incapable of the softer emotions of love,
compassion, and joy. Unable to relax, your body begins to show the strain. Your
anger does not draw people closer to you, but drives them away. Eventually, you
are alone, sustained by the illusion of being a powerful person.
Those in the grip of anger and alcoholics want the world to dance to their tune. They entertain dreams of how they imagine their lives should be and use their anger and alcohol to make it so. But sooner or later they have a collision with reality. They learn the limits of their control. When they can finally admit their powerlessness, their recovery can begin.
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