MSI Press Blog

  Online dating in midlife is a bit like visiting a wildlife preserve. You’re hopeful. You’re curious. You’re prepared. And you know you’re going to see some strange creatures. Profiles are the first glimpse into the habitat. Some are delightful. Some are confusing. Some should come with a warning label. Here’s your guide to the species you’ll encounter. 1. The Car Photo Enthusiast Every picture is taken inside a car. Every. Single. One. Front seat. Back seat. Seatbelt on. Seatbelt off. Sometimes sunglasses, sometimes not. You start to wonder: Do they live there? Is this a hostage situation? Are they emotionally available, or just physically near a steering wheel? 2. The “Age Is a State of Mind” Philosopher Their profile says they’re 58. Their photos say they’re 42. Their knees say they’re 67. They write things like: “I don’t feel my age.” “I’m young at heart.” “I can still party like I used to.” Translation: They have not accepted the existence of gravity, tim...

  When you’re dating in your 20s, red flags are practically decorative. You see them, you acknowledge them, and then you think, “I can fix that.” By midlife, you’ve learned two things: You are not a rehabilitation center. If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time—and maybe take notes. Here are the red flags that midlife daters spot instantly, often before the appetizer arrives. 1. The “I’m Not Really Over My Ex” Acrobatics In your 20s, you thought this meant they were sensitive. In midlife, you know it means: Run. Red flags include: Referring to their ex as “my person” Using the phrase “technically separated” Bringing up their ex’s cat in the first ten minutes If their past relationship is still the main character, you don’t need to audition for a supporting role. 2. The “I Don’t Believe in Boundaries” Enthusiast This one is easy to spot now. They say: “I’m just being honest.” You hear: “I have no filter, no tact, and no intention of devel...

  Excerpt from A Movie Lover's Search for Romance (Joanna Charnas) THE NEW GUY   You don’t always know when you’re experiencing burnout until you’re hip deep in its muck. You also don’t comprehend how completely addicting Internet dating is until you’re hooked. So if you find yourself burned out from Internet dating, as I did, the prudent thing is to give it a rest. Although I planned to take a break from Internet dating, I’d become too addicted to stop. It didn’t matter that I was emotionally exhausted from too many blind dates. Which is when Simon entered my life.  I met Simon on an Internet dating site. When we first spoke on the phone, he asked if I’d meet him that evening at a party given in honor of a couple of his friends. Simon explained that his schedule was booked for the rest of the week, but he wanted to meet me right away. The party started in mid-afternoon, and assuming I wouldn’t be enslaved and forced into the sex trade, I agreed to rendezvous at his frie...

  From 57 Steps to Romance: Finding Love in Midlife and Beyond  (Lorenz)  Mom’s Got a Date Tonight   When you're used to sharing your life with someone, to be suddenly single can be the most devastating, lonely, life-shaking experience in the world. Just ask any separated, divorced or widowed person. The thought of starting over in a new relationship, though, is the most terrifying thing you can imagine. In 1987 when my divorce was final after a two-year separation, my four children had different ideas. After a couple years of being my dates at movies and fast food restaurants, I heard comments like, "Mom, why don't you join that singles group at church and meet some men?" I shot back, “I don't know how to meet men or go out on dates. Besides, who wants a 40-year-old woman with four kids and a big mortgage?" But the children kept after me to do something for myself, and so I worked up my nerve and joined the Single Again group at church. A few week...