MSI Press Blog

  Excerpt from The Widower's Guide to a New Life   by Joanna Romer - INTRODUCTION Learning to Be Alone When we lose a loved one—a friend or relative—our first reaction after the pain is usually atavistic: how will this affect me ? When we lose a spouse, however, no such reaction is possible. The grieving widower or widow soon becomes aware that this loss is catastrophic in a different way: it’s more like losing a part of oneself, one’s arms or legs. We keep waiting for that dear one to reappear, we want to claim her or him—until we realize this isn’t going to happen. We’re alone. Not only are we in pain but also we’re alone. For the widower, in particular, this can be quite a shock. Accustomed to having a “right hand” or equal partner always around, the newly bereaved man can be thrown into confusion. He has not realized his level of co-dependency. Suddenly, he’s facing life without his spouse in a thousand different ways, and he is devastated. What can you do when yo...

  Excerpt from Widow: A Survival Guide for the First Year --  CHAPTER ONE Being Alone When I was in my mid-20s, I worked at Cosmopolitan Magazine as an Assistant Editor. My tenure there was short (barely a year), but because my editor liked me I was able to secure freelance assignments in later years. Writing for Cosmo , I learned that almost any problem can be remedied with concentrated self-nurturing and a few well thought-out lists. And so, throughout the years, I was able to handle two divorces, three marriages, many job changes and the untimely deaths of both my parents (although this last occurrence required the help of a very nice therapist). When Jack, my beloved husband of 16 years, died at the age of 71, I was devastated. There were days in those first months when I really didn’t see what I had to live for. Other times, I believed that I too would soon leave this earth, and so I scampered around trying to get my affairs in order. If you are a recent widow, y...