Cancer Diary: In His Death, My Husband Made Our Lives Better and That Made Me Feel Guilty
When Carl fell on February 23, we thought he might have simply twisted something. We didn’t know we were beginning a five-month sprint toward the end of his life — or that he would be diagnosed with not one, but five types of cancer, all in their final stages. There weren’t many “good” days between then and his death on August 16. And yet, in those months, Carl gave us gifts that would outlast him — gifts that would make our lives not just survivable, but better. That reality has filled me with a deep gratitude... and a quiet, stubborn guilt. Because while he was dying, he was also teaching me how to live without him. Carl had always done the cooking. I could burn toast without even trying. But with time running out, he started showing me how to prepare meals — simple at first, then a little more complex. It wasn’t just about food; it was about helping me feed a life he wouldn’t be part of. He taught me about landscaping too — when to prune, what to watch for, how to keep the veg...