Excerpt from Divorced! (Romer): Don't Let Your Ex Make You Miserable
From Divorced! by Joanna Romer Don’t Let Your Ex Make You Miserable! While many divorced people want to discuss with their ex “what went wrong” with their marriage, you may find yourself coming to dread such conversations. Going through my second divorce, I told my therapist, “I feel awful after I talk with him, and I don’t know why!” The therapist’s reply: “So, don’t talk to him.” “What do you mean?” I asked. “I have to talk to him—“ “Why?” he interrupted. “You’ve got a lawyer. Everything’s pretty much hashed out anyway. So, don’t call him.” I was doubtful. “What if he calls me?” “Don’t answer.” Even though it seemed initially like the cowardly way of handling things, I soon found that I felt much better without the bi-weekly conversation with my ex, where we’d been trying to discuss our differences. After two weeks of not talking to him at all, I was noticeably more cheerful. As my therapist said, everything important had already been work